Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Hi Defacto, I'm not a vet for sure....but I do like editing
"Hi W, I understand why you were upset this morning, and I agree the kids need to talk with each of us. I also think it's important to respect each of our time with them.
Can I suggest that evening may be a good time for a chat with them? If you text say between 6 and 8, I'll have them call & say Hi - and perhaps I could do the same when they are with you?
Toots, You are a national treasure! This is the second time you've come to my rescue. I think this is the one. It's so much better now.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Toots, You are a national treasure! This is the second time you've come to my rescue. I think this is the one. It's so much better now.
Defacto, no truer words have ever been spoken! A national treasure, indeed.
I can't even tell you the number of times Toots has helped me with messages.
Toots, we all love and care about you so much. {{{Toots}}}
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Me: Thanks. We are great. Me: I understand why you were upset this morning, and I agree the kids need to talk with each of us. I also think it's important to respect each of our time with them. Me: Can I suggest that evening may be a good time for a chat with them? If you text say between 6 and 8, I'll have them call & say Hi - and perhaps I could do the same when they are with you?
W: Thanks for understanding. W: Absolutely. They want to say goodnight to you too. W: It's not fair for them to be weapons. You can hate me all you want but it's not fair to them. W: (I don't hate you by the way at all. I still have so much love for you so it hurts more than you can imagine.)
Me: Thanks. I appreciate it.
Seems to have gone ok. Wasn't exactly sure how to respond at the end so I kept it simple. Feels good to get that done. We'll see how that goes.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Bob and Matt, Thanks for the encouragement, guys. Kind of a busy but fun day with the kids. Obviously, a little stressful with my sitch but I'm pleased with the end result.
STBX texted me to talk with kids just before 8pm. S1 was already asleep and D4 was almost sleeping. I decided to wake up D4 and call STBX. I put D4 immediately on speakerphone. They talked for a minute and I translated when she couldn't understand D4. At the end of the call, STBX sincerely thanked me for letting her talk to D4. And then we said goodbye.
I think this system will work great. I won't have to worry about communicating with STBX all day when I'm with the kids so I can just enjoy my time with them. This will allow me to detach and at the same time really savor the moment with my beautiful children. Win win.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
So far, my W and I have been good (I guess?) about really leaving each other alone to parent. It came up during MC the other day, and we both felt like for now it is best to give the other person space to parent without feeling like we NEEDED to talk with the kids on the off days. We both think that eventually we may get there (especially if we switch off weeks or something).
I truly can't imagine having more than daily conversations with W/Ds at this point. I think it's better for you this way.
