Old dog seeks new trick 14

[gan]

Oo oo...I think I know the answer to V's MCQ. Is it A). use it to project yourself forward?

Toots is the queen of email responses IMHO so hopefully she'll stop by while I'm sleeping, OD. In the meantime I hope the new email isn't bringing you down too much.

[Old Dog]

I never managed to cobble together a reply to WW's previous email before another arrived. My boys are coming to visit me this weekend so the first para is about that.

It's S12's 13th birthday a week Saturday and I do not want to be waiting in the wings for scraps. S15 is having to do revision for exams on Sunday so getting S13 out of the house ton Sunday would be good in that respect.

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This weekend: On Friday I can put the children on a train at London. I won't be able to do the same in reverse, so on Sunday you'd need to accompany them to London and I'll collect them from here. Please let me know which train arrival time on Friday afternoon suits you best, and what time I'll be collecting them on Sunday.

S12's birthday: I assume you are going to take S12 on Sunday 7th? As you know, he's asking for an iPhone as a birthday present, if he pays towards it. How do you want to do this? Is this to be a joint present from his parents, paid out of the joint account - or do you want to do it differently?

House: What is the progress with the house sale? You were taking advice. Soon we won't have any income from it, plus I need to give proof to the benefits agency that it is actually on the market.

Summer holiday dates: Do you have any preferred dates as yet? My mum has offered to pay for me to take the children away and I'd like to get something planned. If you have no particular dates, perhaps we can just agree some to work from?


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My first draft (incorporating advice given earlier). The birthday olive branch sticks in my craw but if it's for my boy ... and I suppose it is Dbing. Actually, I have a chat with Chuck booked for tomorrow. I'll just send the train stuff for now and see what you kind folk and Chuck says bout the rest.

Hi W

S15: Thanks for letting me know about S15 being "signed off for a whole year now". I presume this means he's fine but they want to see him again in a year? That's great if so. Also, if you could let me know beforehand when he's due to go to physio, I would be grateful. And did they let you know if there's a nearer one than Addenbrookes?

Last weekend: I'm happy you managed to take the boys away during their half term, but as I only get to spend a few days each month with them and this trip impinged on my time, I would prefer you to check with me if this kind of thing is likely to happen again. I hope they had a good time though.

This weekend: can you put them on the 16.20 from Charing Cross, not London Bridge please. For the return on Sunday, it depends on what type of ticket they have: Virgin or Great Northern. Remember the railcard won't be valid for these journies. If you get them a return from there to here, they can use the same ticket transitting through London but cannot divert off route or exit at any other station. For any trips within London, another ticket must be bought.

S12's birthday: What does he want to do on his birthday? Does he want friends over? I don't want to just turn up for scraps on the day after. If he would like us all to be together, I am willing to do that. I discussed the iPhone with S12 and said I will pay towards it along with contributions from my mum and brother so his portion will be signifcantly reduced. Feel free if you also want to contribute.

House: I'm afraid I haven't made much progress, but yes, we should get a couple of valuations from local estate agents. As far as capital gains tax is concerned, as it is not our main residence, it looks like we will have to pay. How do envisage handling the money after it sells? And have the tenants given a leaving date?

Summer holiday dates: I have no preferences for dates as yet. Perhaps mid to late August. I'm glad your mum has offered to pay for them.

[gan]

Looking pretty good to me, OD. Couple of things:
- S12: ditch the "I don't want to just turn up for scraps on the day after." Sounds resentful. Maybe answer her Q about the iPhone first, then bring up your questions after?
- This weekend: not sure but it sounds like you are really spelling out some simple stuff here. If WW is likely to know some or all of it, it will likely come across as condescending. You be the judge.

[Old Dog]

Thanks gan.

Scraps: I guess it is resentful, especially after last weekend. And that's why I'm using the international DB checker :-)

This weekend: she won't know. Thanks to right wing ideology (selling England the pound - who knew Genesis could see into the future) and rail/station improvements, taking the train here is far from simple. I have done it for three years, so I know.

[Pink17]

Hi OD,

I agree with gan about the "scraps" sending a resentful as a message. But, in general it looks good. Just bullet points to address practical issues.

One thing that translate to me is that there is no transferring trouble for her, and that is probably a big one for her once she reads the email. Most of what you wrote seems just business like.

Hope she can see that you are being very reasonable and trying to deal with the situation with a friendly disposition.

Keep strong.
Pink

[Sotto]

Hi OD - here are my thoughts below...I wasn't keen on the little headings, so I removed them and the scraps sentence..and tinkered with a couple of other bits...T :-)

Hi W

Thanks for letting me know about S15 being "signed off for a whole year now". I presume this means he's fine but they want to see him again in a year? That's great if so. Also, if you could let me know beforehand when he's due to go to physio, I would be grateful. And did they let you know if there's a nearer one than Addenbrookes?

Re last weekend: I'm happy you managed to take the boys away during their half term, but as I only get to spend a few days each month with them and this trip was partly on my time, I would prefer you to check with me if this kind of thing is likely to happen again. I hope they had a good time though.

This weekend, can you put them on the 16.20 from Charing Cross, not London Bridge please. For the return on Sunday, it depends on what type of ticket they have: Virgin or Great Northern. Remember the railcard won't be valid for these journies. If you get them a return from there to here, they can use the same ticket travelling through London but can't divert off route or exit at any other station. For any trips within London, another ticket must be bought.

What does S12 want to do on his birthday? Does he want friends over? If he would like us all to be together, I am willing to do that. I discussed the iPhone with S12 and said I will pay towards it along with contributions from my mum and brother so his portion will be signifcantly reduced. Feel free if you also want to contribute.

I haven't made much progress on the house yet, but yes we should get a couple of valuations from estate agents. As far as capital gains tax is concerned, as it isn't our main residence, it looks like we'll have to pay. How do you envisage handling the money after it sells? And have the tenants given a leaving date?

In terms of summer holiday dates - I have no preferences for dates as yet. Perhaps mid to late August? I'm glad your mum has offered to pay for them.

OD

[Wonka]

Hiya, OD!

Heard you calling me in V's thread...

Pink is spot on about the scraps...that was a doozy and makes you look like a needy, spineless 13-year old grammar schoolboy.

Otherwise, the rest looks great. I'd go with what Toots pulled together and hit the "send" button.

[rd500]

Hi OD , really glad the anger thing is away. Needs to be for you to live your life

Take care. Rd

[RAI]

Hi OD. I feel the same anger you did. How did you get past it? Please share.

RAI

[Old Dog]

Thanks for your valuable input everyone.

RAI. I really don't now. I've been feeling simmering rage and hate for a few months.

What I have done is cut off all contact with WW apart from very brief emails and texts. I have tried to GAL and been seeing a counsellor. I have tried to bare everything, much more than when I saw one almost 20 years ago.

It's been hard and hasn't gone as I'd like in many instances but at the weekend, I could feel some sort of change on Saturday and when I woke up on Sunday I just felt calmer. I could whip it up again very easily if I wanted to but i don't want to as it's hugely destructive.