I'm on a roll today, work is way to slow. I keep looking at this stich and others and think to myself, why can't we just let go. Our spouses have all gave up or at least let go of the bond, but here we are wanting to hold on for everything it's worth. Why do we do it? And from reading a lot of posts, it seems men have the hardest time with it. I think it's our ego, our pride, our sense of being alone, all of it wrapped into a ball. Look at the stich's though. Our spouses have either took another, or just plain and simple walked away. No matter how hard we try, you can't convince a rock to roll up hill. I don't want all the venom, and spitfire I've been getting. I want happiness and understanding. I didn't give it, I understand that, but why am I holding on so tight.
Another thing that maybe I would like suggestions on if possible. My wife has rheumatoid arthritis, and has sever depression from that. She has tried various medications, but she is constantly tired. She told me last night that they are going to put her on aderall for the tiredness. She was literally just wanting to lay in bed at home, but that was more attitude with me. She seems to be getting along better, but still tired. My question is, has anyone been around this drug, or had interactions with people on it? Just curious to know if any affects are noteworthy, or something possibly common. I will try to post on here if there is anything different with her. I just don't want to do something silly, and thought I might research a bit before hand. Thanks
Another boring day at work. I am getting so much better at fighting the urge to try and contact her. The thoughts are still there, and the urge is very difficult. However, I know nothing helps right now, and I just keep telling myself, it doesn't matter what you do, she has her own plan. I really feel good about this, not that I think it will work and we will R the M, but that maybe I can control myself and not have to keep fighting within my own body. I just have to keep up with my thoughts, and not let the anxiety overcome me.
My wife has rheumatoid arthritis, and has sever depression from that. She has tried various medications, but she is constantly tired. She told me last night that they are going to put her on aderall for the tiredness. She was literally just wanting to lay in bed at home, but that was more attitude with me. She seems to be getting along better, but still tired. My question is, has anyone been around this drug, or had interactions with people on it?
My doctor prescribes it for my chronic fatigue syndrome. It speeds up the heart, helps with alertness, and gets you moving. Take it too late in the day and it will interfere with sleep. If I had not had it, I probably would have had to give up my job. I have been on the same dose for years, but I've read how some people take more than they should.....to get the buzz. I really don't get a buzz, nor does it affect my appetite.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi. Appreciate the feedback. Her words were, "I guess you should know I'm going to take aderall, so I act crazy tell me". All I said back was OK. Didn't really know how to answer that one. It was also the text right after telling me about grandmas surgery for cancer, which all I said was I will be thinking about her and hope it goes well.
I'm fighting myself so much right now. I want to move on, find someone else that is happy, and not in pain, and not depressed like the W. I just don't know if what's holding me onto the string is her or my girls. I don't want the girls to go through this, but I also don't want to be miserable. Who knows if she will ever be able to face her own problems, and what she did in the M. If she doesn't it will never work anyway. Im tired of walking around scared of her, afraid I'm going to screw up. Even after she told me she just wants out, and all the other empty words. We are not supposed to believe what they say, but it's hard sometimes when it seems like the right thing to say at the time.
I want to but haven't contacted W today. It's been pretty much all week just about the kids and stuff. It just doesn't feel right, but I know right now is not the time. No matter what I do or say, it's just going against everything she thinks. Trying to stay positive about everything, but have my negative moments. It's so hard not to want to be mad at her for leaving, but it affects my attitude toward her, and my actions toward her. I really have to let go of everything from the past. I keep telling myself yesterday's actions or words don't mean anything tomorrow.
H tried it for ADHD, and he felt better but it made him act suspicious and hostile (almost paranoid), and it increased his anger. He went off it after I told him numerous times that I was concerned.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I think it takes being able to let go of what we think we can control. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes. What would I feel like if I were her. We just have to know that we can't control the spouses feelings, and we can barely control our own right now. But still it's never really giving up you can't be happy, it's just being patient to see if the spouse can think the same way. Keep up the work though, got to remember we will be better after all of this, if we choose to be.
