Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
#2569356 05/19/15 09:21 AM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
T
Tulo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
Old tread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2568959&page=1

So here I am, tread nr 3.

The "talk" ended with him not wanting to be in R with me anymore. We have said we are going to be "friends"..
Suddenly last week he started to like my stuff on FB, and called on Sunday saying he couldn't come with me when I run my half marathon this upcoming Saturday, but wanted me to send my link to my GPS so he could follow me around the track anyway. Sounded so sweet and had several suggestions on how to achieve this. Felt really good when we hung up.

So today I went on FB and saw that he removed our R status and it sent me to a dark place. What for? Nothing has changed, but it feels different. And I can't see why he would go through that song and dance about being sorry for missing my race, and so on, when it still feels like he couldn't care less.

BTW- I'm ready if any of you want to hit me with a 2x4!

So plan from now on I guess, is NC! NC! NC!
I said when he called that I would contact him when I found out how he can get texts for following me in the race and so on, but I think the best thing is just to keep silent..?
Do you all agree?

I have my run coming up, and really no time for sitting with shaky legs and a pit in my stomach! I need to feel strong..
But this changing status thing is such a silly thing to be upset over, and still I am..

Well, well, call this venting, being pathetic or what ever.
A new tread is on its way.. So appreciate all your feedback on previous treads. Your making it easier to be in this mess..

Hugs!


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
Hi Tulo

None of those things. It's being a human being. Yes, you've got to be strong, but if you blip, that's normal.

You've got to NC him, unfriend him etc. It puts a marker in the sand that you're not going to be messed about. You're here, waiting, but not begging.

YOU can do this!


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
My W removed her FB connection from me and my family on Friday. I KNOW it doesn't really mean anything. Of course she's feeling that way right now. She believes the M is over, so why not change it? It certainly hurts, but it really doesn't actually matter in the long run. Stay strong and keep on the path.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
T
Tulo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
Hi Huddy!

Thanks! You're right, it's human I guess.. I just have to prod along and put one foot infront of the other and GAL myself to a happier place.

I'm totally into the NC and will work myself to the unfriend part. Not there yet, but I'll get there..

Hug!


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
That's my girl! Look in later.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
T
Tulo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
Originally Posted By: Matt777
It certainly hurts, but it really doesn't actually matter in the long run.


Hi Matt,

Thank you for your reply! smile

I does, a lot but as you say it doesn't matter in the long run and I really don't know why I put such emphasis on FB anyway.
He could have chosen "single" and then it would have been up on both our walls and all would have seen, so I guess I have to be happy about that if nothing else.
I simply couldn't deal with all the comments now.

I will try to stay strong (stronger) and I send the same wish to you! Thanks again! Appreciate it!
Hugs!


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
T
Tulo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
Please do so! smile


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
Hi Tulo, hope you don't mind me dropping by.

You H wants to be friends? What? He just friend zoned you? All sitches are different, that I can appreciate but In my sitch I will not be demoted to a friend. Anyone can be a friend but only one person can be a spouse. My WW's reason for originally wanting to be friends is that it suits her. And of course like every blubbering fool at BD you buy into it as you are grasping at straws. Well, not for me. I ain't having it. Just my tuppence worth.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
T
Tulo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
Originally Posted By: NDY
Hi Tulo, hope you don't mind me dropping by.


Of course I don't.. Just glad to see your checking in! smile

Well, yes and no.. Don't really remember how it came up, but I think it might have been me who asked (when he he didn't check in when I was going through this thing with my dog) if he didn't even care about me as a person and that I thought we were friends as well, he said that obviously he cares and that he wanted us to be friends so I might be the one to blame here as well.. It just felt like I've appreciated him as a friend too and didn't want to loose that but I can see now that that is probably wasn't wise of me. It just seems like I'm loosing both my lover AND my best friend and it was/is very overwhelming.

I think I'm not going to do any changes to this now however, not call him and take it back or anything like that. I'm going to do the NC and see if he contacts me. If he doesn't that's the way it is.

This is just a useless day, and I can't wait for it to be over. But a little bit less so when I see your and other posts here.. Thanks for that!

Hug!


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
Tulo

That's normal to feel like that. Weeks 1 to 4 will be a real horror ride. Important you don't tell them that. They'll just use it to keep youplaying along.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard