Ripken - LRT with a WW and divorce filed #3

[Ripken8]

Wonka thanks for the comedic visual. If it's not fog and she's just wanting my reaction, what for? To see if I'm still there? To be a plan b? I told her basic, you look fine or no not bad. But really didn't validate much. What else do u recommend if this continues

[Wonka]

Wonka thanks for the comedic visual. If it's not fog and she's just wanting my reaction, what for? To see if I'm still there? To be a plan b? I told her basic, you look fine or no not bad. But really didn't validate much. What else do u recommend if this continues

Bat signaling Sandi!!!! This is right up Sandi's alley...

[Ripken8]

Anybody else with suggestions if this continues? Obviously I value Wonka and Sandi's opinions and greatly welcome them too : )

[HeavyD]

Jeez Rip this is a tough one.

I am not a vet of course but if it were me, I would not respond to those temperature checks, I would just casually get up and leave the room or space. I would not respond to that. I think it is incredibly disrespectful to you and is clearly putting you in the Friend Zone. "How do I look as I get ready to go on a date" kind of thing.

Just my .02 cents.

[Ripken8]

I agree, Heavy. And I've seen every side of the "worry about friend zone" argument, so not sure where I stand on that. See both sides.

With this being my last week, I'm trying to be as cordial as I can and again, allow myself to be myself in reacting to HER interactions, not pursuing or initiating on my own. I don't flirt with her or give her much reassurance at all. In fact, when she asked about "are these shorts too short to go out in?" I responded with "I'm not sure, but where what you're comfortable with. It doesn't matter to me what you wear."

[Ripken8]

Any other opinions or suggestions. I'm sure the flow of things from guilt to control to temperate checking will continue and I can't read into things, but would like to know how to react. This is all new for me, but seems common with ww.

She is being nicer and even told me to have a good day before work. Doesn't sound like much but since bd, just comes and goes without any word. It is nicer being more cordial.

[Kramer]

I would look at her with an upturned eyebrow, and say "You're kidding, right?", and then walk away.

[Ripken8]

Kramer, I tried that approach while living here. And with the try and see if it works mantra, it didn't. She began to shut down, paid no attention to me and pretty much tried to be as short and mean as she could. This also impacted her desire to want to communicate on just about anything.

She was mad, bitter and scared and told me she felt I basically didn't give a [censored] about her or anything. While I didn't and still don't reassure her of that, I noticed when I don't initiate, pursue and instead give friendly minimal reactions to her talks or stories, I get better interactions from her.

This has made it easier for me to live in the same house with her until I move out this weekend. After then, yes I plan on dropping off the face of the earth. It was just what to do as this could happen when I leave.

Based on what everyone said.

[Ripken8]

What's also made it easier is ww not coming back to the house after work. Said she was going to a friends and then nothing. Could be what' she's doing, I'm actually ok even if it's not. Her not being around isn't bad tonite.

For me it's just annoying. We seemed to have some nice family moments and we were more cordial together than we've been in months. But again, things get too comfortable or happy for her around me and she has to run from it.

If she ever questioned things I don't think she'd allow herself to really question it or turn around. There I go mind reading.

[Sotto]

Hi Ripken, I would say as little as possible about the whole tan line, shorts, look at my tummy & bottom thing. It all has the air of 'gay friend zone' about it IMO. Either that, or she's still keen to keep you 'on the hook' by drawing your attention to her body.

I quite like the idea of a raised eyebrow and a 'really?" As in - you're really asking me this?? Or, maybe just go for 'distracted air' - & a "just go with what you're comfortable with W' and then leave the room.