Was just happened? Do I do anything? Was it just a test to see if she felt anything?
Hello mobile,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am so happy that your decided to post on this forum.
You asked some great questions. I would wait for a few other replies, but I think she was testing you. She wants to see if you are going to still respect her need for time and space or come running after her.
I'd love to hear what some of the veterans on this forum think.
Best of luck to you.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Not been here long, so probably not qualified to comment, but that seems like she's working it out that what she's doing isn't what she wants. Read Sandi's rules again. Don't jump straight back in, give her space and seem interested, but not over eager just yet.
Just my thoughts. Keep going!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi Mobile, I think the best approach is to give back 75% of what you get and don't overthink her motivations. So if she says 'mobile, I really, really miss you' just reply 'I miss you too' and carry on with your day.
Unfortunately, the journey we are on isn't usually a short one, and there are many twists and turns. The best thing to focus on is yourself and how you are going to work on your own issues and your balance, steadiness and perspective in order that you can get through this.
If you focus too much on your W and try to analyse stuff she says and does, it pulls you back onto the rollercoaster. But for most of us, that needs to happen for a while before we learn....
Keep looking after yourself and doing what you are doing, and try not to worry too much about what she is saying or thinking right now. If she truly wants back in, believe me - you're not going to miss it.
Take Care :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Keep hitting the gym Mobile, it will help with your anxiety. Sounds like you're making the best of a tough situation, just keep doing your best and focusing on making yourself as strong as possible for your kids.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Monday, back to work. W texted early this morning couple times about house stuff. Short to the point response giving, lucky enough she responded to my answer, I like it better when she's the last one responding, makes me feel more in control. Anyway not much happened yesterday, that's good I guess. Didn't ask about the night before. Trying to refocus on me after she threw that hug, kiss, miss you, love you thing at me. Really messed with my head.
Not sure if it will happen again or if even means anything. Trying to not read into it, hard to do since haven't really touched each other in months. Back to the day by day of taking care of me. Trying once again to get her out of my head 24/7. Did notice I became little clingy yesterday, wanting to be by her, plan to turn that back down today.
What a day so far. Can't get what happened over weekend out my head. Not going to contact W or anything, just a ton of thoughts processing. As glad as I am it happened, almost wish it didn't. If it turns out to be nothing it's going to be another blow to the heart. Guess only time will tell. Hate that W has this much power over me, even though I'm not going to show her it.
Well another evening W works super late, runs in changes and off to gym. Living the life with no worries of the kids. Only wish she would notice everything I do. Guess taking care of dinner and kids don't count. Starting to think other day was a mistake for her. Trying to not think about what she's thinking, already don't worry about what she's doing.
