I too think you handled that tough start to your day well. I've had few a similar experiences with my W. I'll say something like "I'm interested in a conversation, not a shout-down." Walk away or hang up is a great way to handle it.
This is a theory of mine as well. I think that yelling by WAS is rooted in some kind of guilt they feel about walking away (as Toots suggests). I think the anger/blame/accusations is just a mechanism to assuage their own guilt and deny any culpability for the demise of M. That's how it feels in my sitch for sure.
As you know - my WAW is engaged in an active affair. I have informed her that unless she is willing to work on the marriage without a third party involved, I will not participate in counseling.
EMAIL from WW
It appears issues that haunted us duringour marriage will probably not be resolved in our future as co-parents unless we take steps to resolve it. I think it would be good for us and for the children if we come to common ground on being able to discuss issues with them and with each other.
Do you have any suggestions? Counseling?
SUGGESTED RESPONSE FROM ME
Things are difernent now between you and I and our family.
I will participate in counseling with you when you end your affair and comit to our marriage and family.
If you are unwilling to end your affair, and commit to our family fully, I will not participate in any counseling.
Thoughts? Any way I can say it better, less formal?
Careful, she probably doesn't mean MC. She may be talking about co-parenting classes or something similar.
Tell her you'll go. If she starts to spew you can always leave.
M:42 W:43 T:14 M:10 S:9 D:5 W filed 12/22/14 EA 12/31/14 PA 4/10/15 D final 5/13/15
She wants to play the family counseling angle. It's a dig at me to feel guilty because she screwed up the marriage and family. She had the affair because it was "my fault".
