I think sending a nice text is fine, showing support in a positive way. However, BE PREPARED. She is a victim and you are the devil (no offense, you know I'm here for you). So sometimes not responding or cutting it short is appropriate and the best course of action.
Hello Mahhhty,
I know exactly what you mean about me being "the devil." No offense taken at all.
Very good advice. I am going to wait until next week to contact her and ask how she is doing. Wonka is helping me with this.
What a good reminder to be prepared! She may try to draw me into an argument to test me.
You rock!
Thank you.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Bob I dont have any advice but just wanted you to know that I am somewhat following along, and that you seem to be doing well. Also good job posting on others threads, you are a great example to other newbies about that.
Anyway, yesterday I was thinking of texting my W today to say something like "I can't believe D is 19 today." Why would I even want to? Thinking it was something light, easy and fun. As I'm writing this, I have a feeling my W remembers her Step-D's b-day. I would've posted my idea on this forum first, but Wonka "beat me to the punch."
Journaling is helping. In doing so, I realized that my W probably would've felt like it was an excuse for me to contact her. Honestly, she'd be right.
Yeah, good thing that you took the time to think this through first. So to summarize: no TEXTING for about 1 full week from today and on.
And don't you dare to blink first here...
Originally Posted By: mahhhty
I think sending a nice text is fine, showing support in a positive way. However, BE PREPARED. She is a victim and you are the devil (no offense, you know I'm here for you). So sometimes not responding or cutting it short is appropriate and the best course of action.
In Bob's sitch, you need to remember that his W has MS and other health issues. Please go back and see his W's email/text when she flat out told Bob "if you really care" when it came to her doctor's appt. I think it is important that Bob reach out and show concern for her wellbeing.
That is being decent and considerate. One cannot always stay dark alllll the time.
Bob I dont have any advice but just wanted you to know that I am somewhat following along, and that you seem to be doing well. Also good job posting on others threads, you are a great example to other newbies about that.
Hi Cadet,
Thank you for the encouragement and your kind words. I am happy to assist and very humbled by your comment.
Take care of yourself, please!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Yeah, good thing that you took the time to think this through first. So to summarize: no TEXTING for about 1 full week from today and on.
And don't you dare to blink first here...
Originally Posted By: mahhhty
I think sending a nice text is fine, showing support in a positive way. However, BE PREPARED. She is a victim and you are the devil (no offense, you know I'm here for you). So sometimes not responding or cutting it short is appropriate and the best course of action.
In Bob's sitch, you need to remember that his W has MS and other health issues. Please go back and see his W's email/text when she flat out told Bob "if you really care" when it came to her doctor's appt. I think it is important that Bob reach out and show concern for her wellbeing.
That is being decent and considerate. One cannot always stay dark alllll the time.
I only have to say one word: Thornton
Hello There Wonka!
Thank you for your additional points. I am happy you added them. I meant to add a little more when I replied to my buddy Mahhhty, but had to head into a meeting.
Question for you: What is the reference to Thornton about?
Thank you.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
In Bob's sitch, you need to remember that his W has MS and other health issues. Please go back and see his W's email/text when she flat out told Bob "if you really care" when it came to her doctor's appt. I think it is important that Bob reach out and show concern for her wellbeing.
That is being decent and considerate. One cannot always stay dark alllll the time.
Totally Agree!
My message is to only be prepared. She has caught Bob off guard previously.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Thornton was a former poster here. That's all I am gonna say here.
Wonka, thank you, too. For some reason, that was my guess.
Have a good evening Wonka!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
