When you get to a point, and yiu know it's over. Do you really just ever give up hope entirely? I feel like in the back of my mind, there will always be hope, and if I give that up, it will never come back.
It's a tough day. Lots of feelings and emotions. Another question though. It's been over two years of nothing from W, no love, no love intimacy. I am so over all of it, I just want to be happy, and have a relationship. But I'm so afraid of trying something new, and hurting her still. I don't want to totally ruin any chance at a R, if one ever presented itself. But I know that right now that's silly thinking. In the back of my mind, the fear of that is gripped tight though. Is the only way to do that, to just get out and do it? Do I try to get over that fear first? Really confused right now!
How can I truly say I ever just wanted to be with my wife. All the things I said and did, acted counter to that in more ways than I could even imagine. I'm scared to be alone, but I acted that way the last few years, not wanting to be with her either. I have so many things that I need to work through, I cannot be a good husband until that happens. And who knows when that will be. My whole life, I have tried to keep up with everybody, tried to feel good because I had this or that, and in the end, none of it matters. The only thing that matters, is being happy within yourself. Knowing you make the right choices, and the right decisions based on you, not somebody else. But I have no idea how to do that or where to go.
When you get to a point, and yiu know it's over. Do you really just ever give up hope entirely? I feel like in the back of my mind, there will always be hope, and if I give that up, it will never come back.
It may be over now. But as long as you are alive, you have a future. And no one ever knows what their future holds. You might very well have to move on with your life w/o your W right now but that does not mean that at some point in your future you wont end up together again. In the mean time, work on being that person she would be a fool not to be with. So whether it is her or someone else, you are the best you possible.
I know where you are coming from as do most people here. Look, you and your W have kids together. Focus on them. Be a great dad. Drop the rope with your W if you must and move on. You will always have contact with your W because of your kids. She will be keeping an eye on you and what you are up to. Trust me. Be that attractive catch she once knew. But dont do it for her, do it for you. Because you were happy before you met her and you can be happy with out her.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Today she was texting me about how the pharmacy messed up her drug order. She does this often, after saying she doesn't want me in her life. So I finally said, I can't do it anymore. I can't just be someone you vent to, I want more than that, and you don't. She got pissed. I told her she has chosen to have others in her life for that and doesn't want me. Then she said, that I was treating her like crap, and controlling her. And she finally said she doesn't want to text except about the girls. Ok, whatever. The only problem with this is, that we both signed a lease to a house, the guy is going to try and rerent, and let us out. However, the bills are more than I can afford on my own. So she has to help, very scary, because it just takes one time, and she can say no help to you. What do I do here?
I'm finally seeing to just let go is the only choice. I am angry and mad, more at myself than her, but I'm trying to keep that under wraps. I want to make sure I have a relationship with the mother of my kids. That's all that's important right now. I still feel a pang or two of missing her, but I know it will get better. Hopefully when she moves out, I can get to focus more on me, and quit trying to do everything I could fit just her. I have been such a little b&$tch for the last few months. I lost my manhood, my sense of what's right and wrong, and everything that I really want in life. It was all tied to her, and how she felt, or what she said. Just no way to live like that. Waiting for something to break, or something to cave in on me. I've made my mistakes and tried my best to make amends, not much else to do, but try to live. Thanks for all the help!!
You know what they can be so cruel. She is leaving in a few days and just got mostly undressed right in front of me. Yes it was tough, and yes I'm totally sex starved right now, but wow. That's all I can say on that.
Today she was texting me about how the pharmacy messed up her drug order. She does this often, after saying she doesn't want me in her life. So I finally said, I can't do it anymore. I can't just be someone you vent to, I want more than that, and you don't. She got pissed. I told her she has chosen to have others in her life for that and doesn't want me. Then she said, that I was treating her like crap, and controlling her. And she finally said she doesn't want to text except about the girls. Ok, whatever. The only problem with this is, that we both signed a lease to a house, the guy is going to try and rerent, and let us out. However, the bills are more than I can afford on my own. So she has to help, very scary, because it just takes one time, and she can say no help to you. What do I do here?
Dont let her trap you into an argument or give her an opportunity to shift blame.
With any luck you will be able to get out from the house.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Had some very good just talks tonight. We are not going to work anything out, and that's okay. I'm having some emotional troubles, but I think I will just need time to get over all of it. She said there is nothing left for me, of course she cried, and I cried. But it is what it is. I still want her, but I know now is not the time. I will make myself better, and continue to be a great dad. Throughout all this, I have always been the best father a guy could be, considering everything. Maybe that's my space in this life. To raise two beautiful girls into even better young woman. I hope that is the case.
