Focused on Me and My Son

[Starsky309]

I am too.

[Sherman333]

Spoke with the lawyer. His answer is that she's a bit desperate.

He also stated that the with the County Judge we'll go through this will be a cake-walk for me in comparison to her. She's doing everything that the Judge takes issue with.

So that's a bright spot for today!

[Sherman333]

More fun this a.m. I'm using this thread to capture notes about happenings for future reference.

So it's her weekend with my S. She doesn't get up until 9:30 a.m. He gets up around 7 to 7:30. I fed him and we were hanging out upstairs. I picked up a ROKU since the XBox 360 was an issue and he asked me to move it back. She also went to great lengths to explain to him that even though it's her day, she's not going to have time to spend with him because she has stuff to do on the house. And if that makes me the better parent then oh well.

So she starts complaining about groceries and how I cut her off from the money. She went to great lengths to talk about how she had to pull money out of her most recent employers 401k (have to make sure she gets hit with taxes) for her Attorney's retainer. She doesn't have anyone selected yet, so it will be interesting who she picks. It might bring some sanity to the discussions.

She also brought up the cars again and how she's going to request that we value the cars based on mileage. I told her it's not going to happen as both vehicles are upside down on the debt to value ratio. Plus they're in our individual names. Then she said she'd just make me swap (she likes my truck a lot more than her SUV). I again told her not going to happen.

I also informed her she would be responsible for her payments going forward. That I would pay mine. There will be joint "household" expenses that will be assigned to each party and we'd split the rest. I have to finish looking at everything, but it comes out to around her owing me $600 or so that I can place towards debt. She is super annoyed she'll have to manage stuff as it was something I always handled.

She started to argue, so I left to get groceries. So my interpretation is she's expecting cake eating.

When I was driving, she texted me to say that she's decided to turn her SUV in and force us to split the remaining debt. I told her that she can do whatever she wants and that the SUV is 100% in her name.

In the store she called and left a voicemail about phone access again. Also brought up splitting student loan debt. The bulk of which she came into the marriage with, so my portion would only be a fraction of the total.

She's also demanding access to all the accounts that are joint. Especially the phone. I think she just realized there's evidence on the phone of her misbehavior. Lawyer told me to wait on separating it until next week. I'll be happy to share billing statements, but not giving access without a court order.

While I was at the store, she also demanded I pick her up a new electric toothbrush. Geez. what the hell does she think is happening?

[Cadet]

Continue to protect your finances.

If she turns in the car and buys a new one how are you protected?

[Sherman333]

There isn't much except the divorce decree. I'd have to take her to court. Definitely some crazy thinking when it comes to money.

I don't think it could happen without her providing the difference in value for the SUV anyway. Plus who would give her a new loan after doing something like she's proposing?

[Sherman333]

So she's been home the entire weekend. It' "hers" to be with our son.

Over the entire weekend, she's had alternate periods of being overly affectionate to being somewhat indifferent. I've been making sure to go out and watch a bit of a game or something with a beer both Friday and Saturday. I'm making sure to be home by my S bedtime. On Friday, they were watching Big Hero 6 (which my W has turned down before) cuddled in front of the TV. When I came home, within a few minutes had asked me for something on his Kindle, then climbed into my lap, annoying her.

We ended up going to the school carnival on Sat. I'd planned to stay home to take care of a few things, but my son begged me to go to. It was good and my son is a genuine goof ball. He really cracks me up a lot and it can be hard some days to be sad when he's having fun. It's that spirit of his I don't want broken more than anything.

Part way though the night she was trying to make it a little more like "old times" with her sharing. I validated and left it at that. There was 1 moment where she started talking about the divorce and I told her that it wasn't the place. That we're there for our S. When I left after the carnival, my S was in his room watching a show on his 7" kindle. When I got back a couple of hours later, he was in the same spot doing the same thing. She was "cleaning" and sorting stuff the entire day and that took precedence over really doing anything with him. She did however seem to be texting a lot.

We did get into an argument over finances. She has an expectation of being entitled to more than she is. I'll get a fairer deal just letting everything go to court with the judge than what she wants.

I have my S today and am thinking of stuff to do with him to make up for it. I feel so guilty about how he's affected and that bothers me the most. The next R I have I want a woman that softer than my STBXW and who genuinely likes kids. My S deserves to know what that is like.

For me, I struggle the most in the middle of the night. I wake up thinking about where I made mistakes, whether things could really have been different with this person I married, being lonely, etc. When we were chatting a little at the carnival, I missed the old R a lot and had to remind myself of all the crap to keep my game face on (a little quiet and aloof). With other people I was really open and laughing.

I'm going to have him most of Easter weekend. Since this wasn't the plan, I have to figure out a few things to go do. I'd have much rather preferred to go to Disney with my S and our Foster D.

[Sherman333]

Should have Fister S. Not D. Late night typing. :p

[Sherman333]

I can't spell for anything today.

So I'm feeling a very alone at the moment. I also have a bit of fear. Everyone is traveling gor spring break and I'm by myself. She wants me to work on the house and I'm not doing it. The lawyer told me not to. It was a big blowup anfd she said some mean [censored] to our son and I. All about how he's going to miss iut on stuff, me, school, summer camp he lives, etc. that shes going to make sure it happens. She's going to make sure i have to sell the houuse and take away him growing up on a lake. All just to spite me. She's convinced its all about screwing her. She only sees herself and not how this effects me or our son.

I was to have him this afternoon and she told him if he goes with me she won't take him next week to her companies Easter celebrations. Her new man is there anyway.

So in retaliation she's planning on moving out and taking our son to a city about 25 min away. I have a call into the lawyer about getting an injunction in place to stop her. I'm also hoping she denies funds to support the household so i can put a garnishment in place.

I took him to see a movie (Home) and now we're at a bounce house.

[Sherman333]

I believe it was always going to come to this. But i was hoping not.

[Fogg]

Sherman333,

I've been following along with your thread for quite some time but not sure I've ever commented. I'm so sorry you have to deal with the things your going through. I feel so bad for your S also, I can't believe she would be doing this to him. I hope things work out for the best for both of you.