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PatientMan #2549607 03/21/15 12:19 AM
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errod Offline OP
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Well I went out for a little while. I made it 30 minutes now I am back home watching March Madness. I had my W fill out a pool 5 years ago and she has watched just about every game up until this year with me. She was so cute to watch she had her bracket and highlighter with her every where she went during the tournament. She even beat me 2 out of the last 3 years. She did do a bracket this year but really doesn't care at all about it.

Those little things you take for granted can be gone in the blink of an eye.


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
errod #2549620 03/21/15 01:55 AM
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M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
PatientMan #2549622 03/21/15 02:00 AM
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errod Offline OP
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I read that as soon as she posted that. Thank You


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
errod #2549688 03/21/15 12:14 PM
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errod Offline OP
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Can somebody give me some ideas of things to do that don't cost a lot of money to GAL. I need to get out. Since I was in a serious relationship since the age of 17 I don't even know how to keep busy alone. I went to a coffee shop and then walked the mall last night. That kept me busy for about 35 minutes.

All of my friends are married so I would only be a third wheel.


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
errod #2549701 03/21/15 01:42 PM
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Hi Errod - my cheap GALing ideas are:

Volunteering (I do it in a bookstore - but there's loads of opportunities out there.) Try the local volunteer bureau. Or if there is a project you're interested in, contact them.

Exercise GAL - make it a bit more social if possible - I do yoga and aqua aerobics

Learning GAL - look at what the local college and leisure facility are offering..

Meetups - I haven't done these, but I have joined a women's social network, and will do some of the (cheaper) things with them.

Book group - I joined a free one at the local library

Local walking group? Local history group? Google "clubs and societies (town name)" to see what comes up.

Make a list of 10 things that are really "you" - how could you enjoy more of these cheaply?

2 for 1 movie nights?

Coffee shop GaL - coffee and the paper - watch the world go by.

Fix your house up for very little money GAL (if there are jobs need doing)

"Make an effort to visit family and friends more" GAL...

Local amateur dramatics or choir?

Dancing - Ceroc or similar?

Hope there may be something in here for you...

Last edited by Toots; 03/21/15 01:43 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2549764 03/21/15 05:38 PM
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errod Offline OP
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W just got a new credit card today and told me she will give me the dollar amount (not the statement) to pay each month. Why would it matter where she was buying things if it wasn't somewhere she shouldn't be. Probably spending money on OM.


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
errod #2549784 03/21/15 06:11 PM
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It's better for you that she has her own credit card. You can then stop looking into it and trying to track/see things. Trust me on this, you checking small things such as where she's spending money will only hurt you over time. Let it go. Right now you might think it's harmless but it's preventing you from detaching further.

As for GAL, you can look into geocaching. Something I'm doing right now that not many people know of. All it costs you is gas money and time. This assumes you have a smartphone and a data plan in your phone.

Movies can also be a good plan, going certain days or early hours can be cheap. Just have to see what discounts a theater has.

Walks down nature paths and trails, you can look most up online or just by driving down strange roads you haven't been down before.

However, these are more solo things unless you find someone to go along with.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2549797 03/21/15 06:52 PM
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errod Offline OP
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Thanks Fogg Geocaching looks like it could be fun.

I am gathering all the information for my attorney. W and her attorney really tried to pull a quick one on me. If W wasn't so dumb and didn't have to pull away so quickly I probably would of fell for their trap. Now even though I want her back, I need to be true to myself. I think this is going to end up being a nasty divorce even though I hope it isn't. They tried to short me over a $100,000 plus making my W the primary guardian. I was and still am the primary caretaker. I was a stay at home dad.


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
Fogg #2549798 03/21/15 07:05 PM
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Errod, are you cool with the credit card?

Tell her she needs to get a job. Don't finance her leaving you. Don't finance her A. Only support the kids.

You need to see the receipts or statements if you're going to reimburse her for expenses related to the children.

I cut my W off. If she buys groceries for the kids, I'll pay her back after I get the receipt.

Her mother gives her money and she lives rent free. She's not feeling the results of her actions. I feel better because I'm not responsible for her crazy spending. Oh boy is she spending. I'm already saving money for the first time since ever.

Close joint accounts so you can't see her wasteful spending. Plus, you don't want her to overdraft and have it start pulling from any savings. Closing our joint accounts requires both account holders to physically go into a branch office. I'm get stupid when I'm around her, so not ready to do that yet.

Don't trust her to give a damn about money now if she never has before.


M:42 W:43
T:14 M:10
S:9 D:5
W filed 12/22/14
EA 12/31/14
PA 4/10/15
D final 5/13/15
Closer2 #2549804 03/21/15 07:14 PM
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errod Offline OP
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Closer2. It is actually the opposite. She is a Dentist who owns her own practice and makes all the money. I manage all the money for the practice and the house but there would not be any if not for her. I manage all financial and insurance aspects of her practice and then take care of the house and our D14.


Me: 36
W: 36
D: 14
T: 18 (05/1997)
M: 16 (05/1999)
BD: 7/23/15
Separation 01/2015
D mentioned and started 02/2015
D filed 3/2015
OM confirmed 3/30/15
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