Hi Rppfl. I don't think I can at the moment. I loved this woman' and we spent 25 years together. Like most couples we had hard times , money wise , health wiser and had great times , etc but through it all we had each other , we really were best friends. I know that's gone and now she no longer wants that and I'm not sure if I'm honest with myself that I can ever get over it. I'm sure with time the pain will lessen buti don't see any way of treating her as a friend long term.
At the moment she spends time with OM and realistically that's the killer part for me. I treat W like a friend at the moment, W has just enough money to survive and on Monday she's heading to the doctor so I gave her the money to pay. I don't talk about our R or M because simply there isn't one anymore. W is having a hard time with her choices but I don't try to help other than what a friend would do Inside I would love to help her out more but again not what she wants.
My L/C wants me to carry on being the improving person she sees but I seem to have stagnated re W I have her and OM on my mind way to much and I let my mood be driven by her.
I'm way too impatient and I want resolution now even if that's the end of any chance of an R with W As I say I do t do anything that W can see and I am always pleasant and upbeat around W and I do know that my sitch could be so much worse. Sorry for the whining but a bit down today
Today cooked myself and kids had a full cooked breakfast then went for a two hour walk , did 6.5 k ) near the local army camp , so lots of shooting ranges and exciting things to see. We came home played on Xbox then we all went bowling and then gott takeaway for dinner. All chilling out in front and TV now , stuffed and feeling lazy. Not as upset as I used to be just very sad and feel empty. Lots of life ahead but feel I will be alone and it's not a nice feeling. I did go on the date and the lady was attractive, smart and seems to want to take it further but for me there was no connection and ii doubt if any connection. Could be like the one I had with W due to our past and our kids
My L/C wants me to carry on being the improving person she sees but I seem to have stagnated re W I have her and OM on my mind way to much and I let my mood be driven by her.
Solution:
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Go GAL!
You do well keeping busy with your kids, RD, and that's a start. But you need some adult interaction, too. No, you will never have another R like the one with your W. There, I said it. But that doesn't mean you can't go out and have a good time. My IC keeps reminding me that I can go out and have a good time and meet new people. Some of those people might be single guys. And eventually I might want to get to know one of them better. But it's a process, there's no rush, no need to dwell on what's to come. Enjoy the journey.
Hi Rppfl Thanks for posting you right and I'll have to GAL
Quick bit of news on W. W went to doctor today as she has no appetite, can't sleep and is constantly tired , her weight loss continues and she is suffering headaches and bad stomach pains Doctor had a look , took some tests and is waitng for the bloods results to come back but doc told her it looked like stress and W needed to get her mental state sorted. W told me this and looked at me like I could provide an answer. Ws sister coming over on Friday to visit W so hopefully she will advise W to get some help with her thoughts and sort out her life. We will see
This could also be alcohol and weed. I have to say that my H is dreadful when he drinks and H has not been eating properly.
SIL seems very grounded too and will no doubt take action if she needs too. You will have to let them deal with this.
It is very sad to see our spouses in this state. It is likely there are physical and mental issues, chicken and egg. The physical is much easier to deal with.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 02/24/1512:37 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi Vanillia sorry gin, I type on my iPhone and auto correct make me look even more stupid than I am !
I'm pretty sure its a programming thing with the iPhone. The programmer had a sense of humor, pretty sure.
Just realise you aren't so special and sometimes mine changes stuff well after I typed it and even tho I read it a few times, it's making me look like a jabbering idjiot!
I doubt family will let her come to physical harm, but both weed and grog will cause weigh loss combined with stress.
Look it as a postive sign she has a grief reaction, like you have but she's not dealing with it. Not so mature.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks Ggrass, the iphone thing is unreal, I re read my posts sometimes and even I'm not sure what I have typed.
Difficult one with W. She just text me to say she never heard from doc re urine sample and is taking that as a good thing. I believe it's a stress thing as W has left her kids, left her home and not exactly improved her personal sitch other than to be Rd free. I don't think that she thought through leaving her kids and home and it was a bit of a panic reaction more than a rush to OM and now she is in a hole without an easy way out.
Hi RD, it's good to hear that your W is seeking medical support and making progress with that. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it is entirely stress related. And it's good that SIL is on the scene and can hopefully suggest some constructive ways forward,
As for RD, sounds like you are pretty steady over there (gosh, Ipad just nearly changed steady to 'steamy' - glad I caught that one!)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
What is more embarrassing to me is that autocorrect also corrects the spelling errors in other people's posts if I am quoting. I think that looks rude so I quite often find myself changing corrected errors back to the original misspelling only to find it autocorrected again when submitted!
Grrrrrrr
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
RD, I'm constantly amazed at the WAS on here who declare their lives are miserable, that they've made a mistake, whose health is suffering because of the stress they've created. And yet, they won't do the one thing that seems so obvious. Come back to the people that love them. That must be hard to watch.
My H, on the other hand, seems happy as a clam and has never looked better. ;-)
