vge, I'm thinking of you today. I hope that you are able to get some favorable news today.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Dr doesn't want to do anything yet though cancer markers are higher - UGH!!
I told the dr that I am adding some new supplements so she said that okay that we'll look at my bloodwork again in two weeks to see if what I am doing is changing anything for the better. But if numbers are higher - I will have to start some treatment.
Anyway, I mentioned to my DH that my dr doesn't want me to have any more added stress right now. So he said ok.
But then today, DH asked when would I be available to talk. He didn't say about what nor did I ask. I am guessing about money and all the logistics so we wont have to pay the lawyers or a mediator any more money. This coming tues will be 60 days from the original petition filed by my DH but since I counterfiled - it's causing delays for him.
So I suggested this Fri after he gets out of work. But now I thought about it and I REALLY REALLY don't want to talk to him about anything. I feel I'll be lead into a conversation that I can't back out of.
I text my atty and she never responds right away. I asked her if I should talk to him or what words can I say to avoid this conversation meeting?
Need some words. Praying for wisdom, direction and strength right now. Don't want to stress but can't help it.
vge, Text your h and advise him that you are under strict doctor's orders and can't have any additional stress placed on you at this time. If he whines, tell him to contact your lawyer. He's a selfish sob and only wants what he wants when he wants it and quite frankly, doesn't care how you feel or what you are going through.
Right now, your first priority is YOU. The divorce discussions can wait. After all, he's already been out there doing his own thing for a while and he can wait a bit longer. No need to stress yourself out over this.
Cancel the meeting today. Take care of YOU from this day forward.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
From reading your thread, I get the distinct impression you are a kind and compassionate mom.
How about parenting yourself with that same compassion?
If your child was having this health scare and being bullied by another human being...what would you tell your child? If you intervened, how would handle the situation?
I know, for me, I would make damn sure no stressful, arrogant, bullying a$$ would get close to my kid for the time being. Until my child was strong enough to handle the situation and the health threat was gone.
Be the Mama Lion to yourself. In the long run, your kids will thank you for protecting them...which is what you are doing by taking good care of you.
Put the drama on a shelf and find your happy, serene place where God loves you and is protecting you.
Last edited by LoisB; 02/05/1501:45 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Wow VGE, you have an awful lot on your plate and are handling it with such grace. I so admire your great faith. I'm sure you're right -- stress has weakened your immune system and enabled your cancer to return. That makes me so sad for you and your children.
Your H is right, he IS a selfish self-centered a$$, and everyone, including the judge, can clearly see that. What a jerk to be worried about his reputation after all he has done, and now to be pushing you into this meeting after he agreed not to cause you more stress right now.
I agree with Job, Cadet and Heather. You need to take care of yourself right now. I'm not sure why your H is pushing to have this meeting, but you do NOT have to attend. Remind him you are under strict orders to avoid stress, give him your lawyer's phone number again and take a bubble bath with some soothing music and green tea.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Y'all are so kind and encouraging. This helps so much.
So I called him today to let him know that I can't handle stress and it's best not to meet right now maybe later. I was calm and tried to reiterate my need for calm. He asked to call me later and I said no.
Well...he called later. He said he just wanted to meet not to stress me out but to offer "help". He said that if i!m prolonging this divorce because of insurance that I really shouldn't worry cuz there's obamacare, care link, etc. I said I didn't want to get upset and now he's made me upset. I let him tell me his stuff. He also said that he knows several people who just found out they had cancer and they are all getting treated right away through other means without insurance. ??!!
I'm thinking that he expected me to say oh thank you for your concern and I'll look into these alternatives. But I didn't!
I said he has made me upset and that's why I didn't want to talk about the divorce. Then he went on and on that he wants to move on with his life and this is holding him back. He mentioned that His Atty said the judge will not be merciful so his Atty and my Atty agreed not to move forward for now. My dh is tired of having his life on hold.
That's it... I was so upset that I argued.. Unfortunately, my children were in the car. (I was parked) I would've held my tongue but this was ridiculous I told him that I wanted to talk since he left in October but he refused..so now here we are close to the 60 days after he filed and if I didn't counter petition then it would be final next wk. Now he wants to talk?!
He wants this stuff done so he can have his own money and move on. His paycheck still comes in and I pay all the bills. He has access of course but I know he's tired of me also having access. I understand his frustration but really?! Now?!
I said he thought he was making this easy but it would've been easy only for him. I don't have it easy...I'm fighting for my life!!! I don't have a job yet. I'm still homeschooling our children to avoid another disruption if possible.
I said he must think I'm at home eating bon bons enjoying life as if I've got it made!? I said that I wake up grateful that God has blessed me with another day to see my children.
He was quiet. I said that's it. Your Atty can talk to my Atty. I said when he comes by to pick up the children for his visit on Monday then I'll give him cash that he didn't use for gas and food to visit his other child. He skipped last month and this cash was already budgeted. Then he hung up on me.
My youngest child began to cry. I felt so bad. My second oldest and third child said they were proud of me for finally taking a stand. Ugh! What a mess. I almost texted him back to apologize but I didn't. I just feel so horrible for my children. I pray for wisdom, strength, and peace. Especially for my children... They are so sad and angry.
Thanks for listening. Just letting him hear my anger doesn't make me feel any better.
I am so sorry you are dealing health issues right now. I am praying for you and your family.
Vge I am going to go out on a limb here but I say this with only your best interest I mind. Your husband is not your friend. I would even say that he is your enemy. He is obstructing your best chance to heal.
A husband that would drop you from your insurance during this serious crisis is not your friend. He is the devil. There I said it God does not want us to agree with the devil.
Don't talk to him. Can you have someone else there when you have to do pick up or drop off? DO NOT BE ALONE WITH HIM (kids don't count. - you need an adult buffer so he'll behave).
Right now you must take care of yourself. He is a dangerous threat to your health. He wants to cut you off from your health insurance!!!
Vge this must be incredibly hard. I can't imagine how truly difficult this must be for you right now. Prayer and surrender your worries to God but please, please stay away from your H.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
