LT very interesting! I know your wife was really struggling- I'm so glad there are some good interactions going on!
UR- oh yeah gotta have fun, though I could never top dressing up the phone or throwing a party for a chair, I definitely need to bring the humor back in my life.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
Heather- thank you so much! F.U.N. is definitely what I need. And YOU are amazing! I have learned so much from your posts to others- thank you!
123Gwen- thank you! I saw on your thread you are having a rough time. Hang in there. Time really does help in healing.
So I interesting happenings today. STBX and I met with a counselor who will start seeing S8. We discussed current situation with family, S8's personality and any other stressors. STBX seemed fidgety. After the meeting I asked if he was ok with everything ( previously he had been not so sure) and he said yes he was fine. I said " you seemed uncomfortable, you kept playing with your shoes". He said he had a lot on his mind. Then said " your lawyer should get the final settlement agreement today. I responded that I had already received it but my lawyer is out of town until Monday so will sign it then. He said" ok no problem. Just wanted to tell you and also let you know nothing changed from our discussion. I figured it's better to tell you in person". He seems more uncomfortable with the idea of the divorce than I do right now. Not sure if it's because he is having an " oh chit" moment or not.! Regardless he has some work to do on himself.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
daring, I'm glad you met w/a counselor and your son will be meeting w/the counselor very soon. It will help your son to have someone to talk to about what's bugging him.
As for your h being fidgety...he knew he had to tell you about the agreement and didn't know how you would respond. Also, guilt was eating at him for what he had to tell you, it wasn't a moment of "oh chit", it was more like "how will she react to what I'm about to tell her".
Guilt has a way of working on their minds, hearts and souls. Let it eat at him and don't try to fix things for him. He's got to grow up and one way to do that is allowing him to fall down and figuring out how to stand tall once again.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hello everyone! I obviously took a break from the boards but am back checking in on everyone.
My M is over and the D happened as amicably as it could with all the terms I could hope for. My ex is still spinning- called me a week or so ago telling me about how he had horrible depression again, had stopped his ADs, and was withdrawing from friends but seeing his counselor. I felt bad for him but I didn't try to save him. I can't anyway and this is well he needs to dig himself out of in the hopes of being whole one day. I have no animosity or anger at this time. I believe I have reached a good place of acceptance though I know I will still have sad moments.
I have actually started dating someone. I went on a few dates here and there just to see what was out there. And when I least expected it I met a great guy. I wasn't looking for a relationship but I'm not going to run away from something that seems to have great potential. I'm taking one day at a time. It is refreshing to be able to approach this from a place of strength and knowledge of my own self worth. Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers to all of you in DB- land!!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
You seem to be taking the D well. You never know where life will lead after, just that that chapter is closed. You just have to keep moving forward and it will have its rewards. Too bad about your ex, I feel that they build this D into something it never will be that they are so confused when happiness does not come swooping in when they sign on the line. Hopefully he will start to work on himself.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
LT great to hear from you. Yes it is sad that he thought this would be a help to him. I'm hoping he restarts his depression meds and continues to work through his issues. I get the sense that he's stuck though- he can't quite jump the hurdle to deal with all of his childhood history and pain as well as the wounds throughout adulthood. I really do wish him peace.
As for me I feel pretty good. I had really lost myself in the last 6-8 years when things in our marriage were getting worse and worse. I realize now how much I allowed in terms of his behavior, all in the name of trying to be a people pleaser and people saver. Now I set healthier boundaries. But I stil have to be mindful of my old tendencies. Two years ago to now though? World of difference!!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
