does take work. It rarely (if ever) just "happens".
But please realize it's not exactly digging a ditch in a field of dung and hot tar. I mean, a lot of this "work" is about living well, living fully and being in the present. Learning from good times and learning from our mistakes.
But even then it is not all about pain. A lot of it is about feeling JOY as fully as we have felt anger or pain or grief or fear....without interference or pollutants.
((Ever notice that we can get REALLY angry about something -- and nothing else gets our attention for awhile? OTOH, we can feel happy about something, but allow other factors in that interfere or lessen our joy?))
THAT^^ has to be reversed, and there are ways to do that. For ME, Essential Experience (the 4 day workshop) was how I learned how to do that, and for ME, it was a lot faster than messing up and hoping to glean the lesson, and then figuring out a plan of attack,
but hey, whatever works is what we all need to determine.
Good luck Frank, I hope you have a great time with your family. And while you are there, I hope you will really BE there
I'm just overwhelmed right now. The EE seminar sounds great but it will take up a decent chunk of the time i'll have with my family. I know that sounds dumb but (logistics aside) it's taken me 8 years to visit and right now i think the time with family will be just as important. I'll be there for 10 days and EE is 4 days. I know it will be beneficial but i just can't sacrifice the time right now
Thanks for the help and advice, i really do listen to it all and try to absorb as much as possible.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
Frank, I'm really glad to hear the medicine's helping so much; not just in the interactions with your wife and your overall outlook but also helping you move forward and do other things in your life, like with flying. That's great! Hope you have a great time with your family.
And hope you get a chance to attend EE. From everything I've heard it's amazing, I read up on it and wish I could attend but right now the airfare is just too much (I'm in Europe) so I'm trying to find something similar locally but haven't. So take the opportunity if you get it!
I know, it's a weird feeling not being totally stressed all of the time and fighting off waves of panic and anxiety. I'm making the flight reservations today so hopefully those feelings stay away.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
Plane tickets booked, took me 7 years and some prescription drugs to do this but it's such a relief. I haven't seen my family in so long. I just hope these pills are enough to get me through these flights.
oh wait, no fear! these pills WILL be enough to get me through these flights.
Nothing new on the home front. wife asked me if i told my brother about us yet and i said yes, but then she wanted more info and i shut down. She got mad but i just didn't feel like getting into it right then I plan on apologizing and explaining myself to her when she gets home from work.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
"I plan on apologizing and explaining myself to her when she gets home from work."
Why? You don't owe her an explanation.
I'd say the #1 issue in our marriage is communication. I could have just said something like "i don't feel like talking about it, maybe later" but i just gave her a 1 word answer and it was rude of me.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
Be careful how you word it. Be sure you say it with compassion for both of you. The WAS will have a way of turning around your apology to say how they were right and you were wrong as "always".
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Be careful how you word it. Be sure you say it with compassion for both of you. The WAS will have a way of turning around your apology to say how they were right and you were wrong as "always".
Good to know, thanks
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
How are you doing Frank? When do you leave for your trip?
Hi Susana
Laying low right now. Wife is away visting a childhood friend so i'm just trying to relax. I leave next saturday for 2 weeks, i guess these pills work because i'm not stressed at all about flying. before these pills i'd be going nuts thinking about it.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
