Moving Out but moving on?

[edz]

Thanks Jim, yes I was a little angry with myself at first since I thought I may have (A) been insufficiently assertive over having S sunday and let W have her way and (B) then made Ws life easier and possibly facilitated her going out on wednesday, of course then my mind started spooling on is she really going out with (girl)friend and who will she meet?

However I then applied a mental 2x4 to myself (at least proving I read the books if nothing else!) - firstly, the hell with it I'm seeing my son and we'll get on with our time in our home and secondly that she would have gone out anyway on wednesday and s would have had to stay at mil's which he would have hated.

As far as I know she's heading out with her (girl)friend from work as she normally does but, really, if she's not - right now - there's nothing I can do to change anything and I'm certainly not having her surveiled!

So this way I'll get S tonight, all of tomorrow (and it will be all - I'll take him back for about 7pm not 2,3 or 4) sunday to get things organised and maybe even relax and then I'll have him over mid week.

On the home front set up the new table which nicely fills up the empty end of the kitchen diner and I now have a nice side table instead of the sheet covered moving box that I've been using as a bedside table. Getting addicted to sorting my home though. I know where I want rugs under the new table and in the lounge and bedroom and where I'd like new furniture oh, and a curved sofa. Sadly the bank balance is glowing like a melting nuclear core so those plans will have to wait for now but I think its a good sign that Im settling in.

Hope you guys are doing well, I'll drop by your thread a little later Jim and also check in on South as I havent heard from him in a while.

Have a good one.

[edz]

Oh forgot to say, S said last week when he stayed over that he really loved his room (dont think the media player linked to the master music storage - 11,000 tracks including radio plays,talking books and music as well as our DVD TVshows - filtered for his player and DVD/BluRay movies - again filtered - hurt matters either!) He also loves his minions wall canvas I picked out and said it was great to have a "grown" up room at last.

He said he'll bring some things from his room at the apartment next time (although he'll probably forget as he's normally on minecraft up to the last second I pick him up!)

[jim0987]

Really does sound like your settling in and you've sorted your Sons room really well. The more he likes it the more he will want to stay and that's a good thing.

Have you sorted that mincraft server so you can do something with your S

[edz]

Hi Jim

Yes, I'm hoping so, he said he likes the house and wants to spend more time here. Delicate negotiations making that work with W though as I think she's frightened of losing control.

I'm feeling more at home now, I want to get the "cosy" bits done but Im restricting myself because of money right now which is a bit of a downer but realistic this close to christmas.

Minecraft server,no not yet, spoke to S about it last week and asked whether its just me and him or if he wants to allow (some) of his friends access on a whitelist basis (as they do with the HE minecraft server) to be honest work and the house has meant there hasnt been time yet but I'll get on it this next week. Have to see if any of the gang here want on as well - ha!

[edz]

Well a good day all in. Picked S up after work yesterday and took him to his card event. We then did a quick run to the shops ready for todays breakfast and back for bed. Tucked S up in and got his media system online and off he went.

He had lost a tooth yesterday (getting on for the last of his baby teeth) so once he was asleep we did the tooth fairy thing (not sure he still believes but he's happy to get the £1) then I got myself off to bed.

This morning we both were in bed till nearly 9 since it was a late night but then once I was up and ready I made us bacon sandwiches (with mushrooms for me!) and then we chilled out.

When we finally got out we picked up the tree and decorations for it (first time on two counts, first time without W and first time not buying a real tree for 15 years - had to go with an artificial one as S has shown asthma this year - interestingly though apart from a slight wobble it wasnt as upsetting as I thought and S really got into it - apart from me having to drag him away from the ps4 demonstration area, no he cant have one this year!)

This afternoon we played video games for a while, got the tree assembled (wow like a 3d puzzle getting that together). W called me at one point to ask what time S was coming back but not to push just to see what time she had until to sort out things at the flat, she seemed happy on the phone and we had a very quick chat on the points I raised on the email in the week. Regarding S staying tonight as well she said she's nervous about setting a precedent with S not for me but for him as she doesnt want to get into rows with him every weekend if something else is going on. I made sure to say that I dont agree with her opinion and to me 'precedent' is actually routine which I think he's comfortable with and that she underestimates him in a lot of ways, however I made sure to validate her opinion and say that I'm not pushing (since at the moment I'm supposed to have him wednesday night) and we left the call there.

I made tagliatelle with meatballs and cheese and tomato sauce before we had to get everything packed up and take him back to W.

S wanted me to come in which I nervously did but I was cautious about looking like I was pursuing. W seemed very cold to me, wasnt angry but seemed distant, quiet and looking almost exhausted (which she could well be after working on the flat all day). I picked up a few bits and pieces including some post that hasnt caught up with redirects yet and then as soon as it wouldnt upset S I made my way away before it felt like I was pushing in.

So back now, apart from dealing with some internet issues (local virgin media you tube cache grrrr, bypassed now) settled for the evening. I thought the tree being here would make me feel upset or sad or both but, right now, its not.

I obviously miss S already and missing W is almost always there but at least is now a dull ache rather than a knife in my soul. Got in a nice (small) beef joint and veg for me for tomorrow and will be concentrating on getting the remaining bits around the house (including the exciting housework) done and maybe a visit to the shops - considering trading in my digital slr and lenses for a tablet for S and I to use as one of my 180s was not hiding behind it if we go out together (or if W joins us again) my hobbies are important but those that separate me from others need toning down, I can still take pictures and video on my phone and it has a great camera, not as good but it hasnt been used since May and I know a tablet would be great for me in the evenings and S would love it when he comes round. I'll see what the shop says.

Anyway that's my update for the day. I'll pop by some other threads and then I think thats me for tonight.

Cheers all

[edz]

Busy day doing some dull but necessary tasks. Sorted the frightening pile of bedding and clothes I unpacked when I moved in. Sorted two lots of washing, threw away (well took to recycling bank) a load of older bedding and clothes (all clean but for beds I dont have or stuff Im not going to wear).

Sorted out some bits in S's room and did a quick run to see what I'd get for my Camera and lenses but the price would have been funny if he wasnt being serious. I'll list it and some other bits on ebay or gumtree instead.

Dinner is nearly ready with veg, roast beef and trimmings. Cat is asleep. Noticed W has posted pictures of her tree on facebook along with comments that she has the tree up S with her and a glass of wine = happiness. Made me feel a little sad and depressed but there we go nothing I can do on that. I'd liked her earlier picture of a tree but I didnt comment and I didnt like the above post.

Need to be less emotionally easy to hurt so I'm busying myself on other things. Right now I have to admit I cant see that W is showing any signs of being in a position to mentally want to reconcile but then she's only been on "her own" for 2 weeks and out of that time has only not had S for about 3 days so why would she?

Anyway off to get dinner dished up.

[Vanilla]

Edz

Where is the GAL?

Vanilla

[jim0987]

Glad you enjoyed a roast dinner. going to the effort of cooking for yourself is a good sign and a good thing.

Vanilla is right though about the GAL - think you might get ridden on this one a bit.

dont be too hasty on the camera front as well - photography is a really good hobby if you enjoy it and getting out to take photos gets you out. You seem really into your tech but actually having something different is good. plus you could make your photography a more social thing through a course, a club, or even a photography blog - its certainly something you could also do with your S.

[edz]

yes fair doos. social gal is lagging at the moment behind a lot of necessities. However, in the next few weeks have my step sister coming for a few days. swimming again from thursday and im off to the community hall on friday to see whats coming up for sign up so on it as much as possible. I shall report back.

oh yes and Christmas party on the 18th.

[Vanilla]

Edz

Please remember GAL isn't a solitary activity!

So swimming club, improves, challenge etc

Take step sis for a meal interact, but not the cinema alone.....
Bowling perhaps, rather than swimming

Trust that explains, and one Xmas party doesn't make an Xmas!
Gee up
Vanilla