Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Yes, thank you for your prayers. Especially for tomorrow as our attorneys will most likely be negotiating the temporary order details. Luckily I know they get along with each other. :-)
I've felt a real peace this weekend. I had a blast with the kids and they are spending the night too. :-)
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Hi Jefe, I just caught up with what is going on with your sitch.
I have a couple of questions for you. First, how are you doing with not initiating contact with your W? With your 2 daughters, you must feel like you want to let her know about what's happening with the kids. Do you let her make the first call or text?
Also, I see Jefe that you have dealt with with alcoholism in the past. How are you doing with this?
I like the idea of a prayer circle. I will pray for you, Fundad, and nmwb123 (do you have a name?) and perhaps Sandi. Do you have any specific prayers that you would like us to pray for you? God's blessing and strength and wisdom for us all.
I have a couple of questions for you. First, how are you doing with not initiating contact with your W? With your 2 daughters, you must feel like you want to let her know about what's happening with the kids. Do you let her make the first call or text?
I haven't had any problem at all not contacting her. for the last several weeks. I just found the "rules" last Wed and that has helped bolster the no contact status. The girls miss her terribly and don't understand why she "left us", neither do I for that matter. I'm happy to give her her space in this arena. I mean, I feel horrible for the girls but this is my wife's choice, not ours.
Now today has been unusual. She has reached out several times today by text trying to engage me in conversation and I have just given very short, not rude, but simple replies. She has also made several Facebook posts that seem like fishing attempts to get me to engage, which I haven't. One of which almost seemed like a direct dare to get me to drive by and check on her. I didn't. Part of me sure wanted to, though.
Quote:
Also, I see Jefe that you have dealt with with alcoholism in the past. How are you doing with this?
4.25 years sober. I haven't worked my steps and I think this is a huge issue for me so I currently have a sponsor (I did this since the separation) and we're working through them. My wife is in alanon and has been participating about the same length of time. Interesting to note; she obtained a new sponsor about 18 months ago. Last year the sponsor had her working on the steps and while she was doing her inventory she wrote me a note saying she realized we got married for the wrong reasons and wanted a divorce. This lasted only a few weeks, she never moved out and it just seemed out of left field. Well, this time around we were getting close to reconciling when BAM! I have been working on my steps and I think I might want a divorce. Now I thought this sponsor has been working against us/me, but since the separation, the sponsor has started attending our church, joined our Sunday school class and now shows up at church more than my wife does. When I see her she tells me how much she loves me and seems supportive of me. I think my wife has been distancing herself from her sponsor in addition to the friends she stopped talking to that were trying to be supportive of the marriage.
Prayer circle = Insanely Awesome Idea We should modify Starsky's prayer that he posted to include each other and just use that as a basis, IMHO.
Thanks, Wet!
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
You know, come to think of it, I'm a little nervous now. One of her texts, just an hour ago was: Im going to come by after work and visit with the girls for a little while before pool etc" I hope she is not coming by to drop another bomb.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Thanks so much for the article. What a great resource. I don't think my wife is involved in an PA affair, but my suspicions are growing that she is having an EA as I noticed someone showed up on her FB page that she had one with several years ago. Regardless, the article is great and I can't imagine the guilt my poor WAW is having to deal with over all of this. We will all need to strength to stand and on the word of God is a pretty good source. :-)
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Nmwb stands for "need my wife back" You can call me CC if that's easier.
Time for a new username then. It's never healthy to NEED another person. Our spouse should be the frosting on our already purpose-filled cake of a life, not the cake itself.
"I WANT my wife back, but I don't NEED her -- not the marriage we had before, for sure. I WANT to build a new marriage with her, that is better than before, but I realize now that if that doesn't happen, I will be okay" is what you're shooting for.
