Talk with W's friends went well. They don't agree with how W has handled things, but said our talk tonight was more than they've got from W in the past 11 mos. Backs up W's claim that she doesn't share much with them. That's just her personality- to keep things bottled up, where as I've had IC, this forum, friends, etc.
Overall, all 3 of us were glad we ironed things out. They were impressed as to what all I've done for the kids during the S and how I've basically been a single dad. Meant a lot coming from them.
They did not know about us agreeing to MC, so it pretty much confirms W is not 'all in' as I suspected.
Date with W tomorrow! We had originally talked about going out tonight, but W has a long day of work then is taking the kids for the night. I text asking if she'd rather go tomorrow since she was going to have a long day (was hoping she would since we'd have more time). She replied yes, and asked if I wanted her to plan/pick dinner (to which I said yes). Encouraging that she voluntarily took an active role in planning the date and not just going through the motions.
I am following along with your stitch. It seems we have very similar situations. Except I have a WAH. My H & I are working on piecing. I guess. He has said he wants to work on the marriage and the issues before he told me things were over. He has said & done a lot of similar things as your wife. Balks at transparency - because that means I'm controlling. He still can't believe I went thru his phone & the invasion of his "privacy". And the PA which my H won't answer questions about right now. I originally thought would be a deal breaker, I'm trying to leave it alone until we meet with MC. I don't have much to add but I think you are getting some really great help here.
Hope your date goes good tonight. Good Luck!
H:40 Me:35 D5 S4 S3 months Married 8 years Together 17 years BD: 5/23/2014
Overall date went pretty well, although a little shorter than I was hoping for. I had been hoping we'd find something to do, then go to dinner, them maybe a bar to watch football, but we ended up just doing dinner.
W called me on the way to the house and had 2 different restaurant ideas. Normally I'd say it didn't matter and she could pick, but instead chose 1 then mentioned finding a bar afterwards. W revealed that she actually had pre existing plans to meet up with her new work group.
Dinner was good- lots of talking and laughing. I made sure to maintain eye contact and ask lots of questions, even though football was on in the background. It was actually pretty natural though to keep the conversation going.
On the way home I asked if she cared if I went with her to meet up with her friends (I know a few of them), but she said she'd rather not have to explain and was probably just going home anyways (she did).
She helped put the kids to bed, then initiated a hug and thanked me for dinner. I asked if she wanted to do it again and she mentioned maybe the other restaurant tomorrow or this week. I offered to sleep on the couch if she wanted to stay over, but she said she didn't know what the rules were right now and is hoping MC will help with that.
As she left, I asked if she wanted to go to church with me tomorrow and she said she'd try to make it. She's also going to join us for a kids event tomorrow.
Yes. Slow your roll! I have not been in your sitch, however I saw a lot of pressure and pursuit in that post.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 09/07/1402:39 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I definitely struggle with how to treat W right now. Wanting to show my changes and continue the positive interactions, but not scare her off.
Point taken. Will try to be more patient. Looking forward to MC in 2 days. Hopefully that will be a first step in defining an action plan going forward.
