Heather! I hope you're able to get that house. If not, I'm sure the right thing will happen for a different reason. Sounds like there is a lot to sort through. I love reading about your journey and the new possibilities that are in front of you. It's all going to work out:).
Thanks Ladies, I appreciate the good thoughts and love.
So, I need to vent a bit. I have about one million things running through my head.
Had a discussion with the girls yesterday...we are all in agreement that the house is perfect for us, a step up from our current home and something we all feel excited to move to...We also discussed how not one of us is willing to continue living hand-to-mouth.
D12 is, after seeing this house, simply over-the-moon about moving. She is packing as I speak.
HOWEVER, I'm not willing to sacrifice my peace-of-mind for anything right now.
I spoke to my friend who has helped me in the past with money. She and I will sit down on Saturday morning and create a budget. I'm going to work up a preliminary budget right now. I may need to ask for more than $300 per month from d20. But, she can take it or leave it.
And, I've been thinking about ways to bring in more income without killing myself. Ideas, so far:
-I call Kohl's and see if I can work 10-15 hours a week in Watertown. I could, then, use the amazing discounts for Christmas. The newspaper really couldn't say anything because I've been clear about the whole housing price dilemma...and, the work wouldn't be grueling. I don't like the idea of MORE time away from d12, but it sure would help with Christmas and clothing budgets and so forth...
-I take stories I write for the newspapers and freelance them after some tweaking. For example, I was already planning on writing a story about prepping your house for winter...Well, with some tweaking, alter the story with a few national resources, I could pitch that story to magazines. I have a better chance of selling the articles as an editor. As I write this, I can see this is my best bet. I could do that while sitting with D12 as she watches her shows or does homework or whatever.
My Gawd, this child is so excited for this house. I simply have to figure this out. She is so over-the-top excited about moving now.
Smokey's b'day card arrived yesterday. It had a picture of a tabby cat on the front...D12 had a tabby cat that was eaten by the foxes last spring. Smokey has no way of knowing this because he hasn't spoken to D12. Inside, he wrote..."This card made me think of Luigi..." D12 said, "Thanks dad, you just made me sad with my b'day card and miss my cat." He sent $25. I'm glad he sent it, even if it was somewhat pathetic and 8 days late.
In the car, D20 asked me..."After we move, will we ever see our dad again?" I told her..."I can't answer that. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you. I know you can reach out to him...if you are comfortable."
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
The dilemma the girls have...They miss their dad...they guy he used to be. He's not that guy now. They are both healthy enough that they don't want to open themselves up to someone so broken...they have higher standards now for the people they allow in their lives. I get it. I completely get it. I'm just trying to be supportive, allow them to celebrate all the good memories and grieve the loss. Stay out of their process as much as possible.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, I'm glad to see your h finally, better late than never, sent a card w/a check. However, I'm very sorry the cat was a reminder of your daughter's deceased pet. That just shows everyone how much he's out of the loop. He's off the scale when it comes to being time sensitive on personal issues....
So, you are planning to have your oldest daughter pay you $300 a month...has she even begun to think about looking for a job in the new area? It may take her a while to find a position there and you rely on that money until she's got a job and started receiving a paycheck. She also will have some debt, i.e., repaying some of the college bill as well.
Be careful with your planning...you are going to run yourself ragged and then become ill if you take on too many additional paying activities if you aren't making enough at the paper. When are you planning to home school her or are you planning to send her to a public/private school? You've got to carve out enough time to do this.
Heather, your ideas are good, but unless you have the full support of your oldest daughter to take on some of the load both in the home and also financially, you are going to be the one that is carrying the load and worry of how to pay your bills once again. Yes, it's a lovely home, but my concern is that you are possibly biting off more than you can chew here.
Your oldest daughter will need to figure out her relationship w/her father and whether she wants to mend fences with him. She's an adult now and needs to figure out how and what she wants to do w/her life.
I hope that everything works out for you, but I'm concerned about the heavy financial load you are thinking of taking on. I do hope that your friend can help you set up a budget, but also remember that you need to factor in a "rainy day" pot of money for emergencies, something that's come up quite frequently for you in the last year or so.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
If D20 contributed $400 a month, we could do it without too much trouble. That brings the rent down to an affordable level with my pay. Even better if the newspaper throws a few more bucks my way.
Question is...is that asking too much of D20. I would make arrangements for her to automatically deposit the amount into my account at the end of the month.
D20 is applying for three jobs in Watertown when she gets home from work. She told me this when I took her to work this morning. I see that she is serious about wanting the house and wanting to contribute...I just need to put some things in place to hold her accountable. I think I can do it...but, I need some safety nets and I will need to be firm...AND, there will have to be an absolute understanding that this money will impact our living situation. She won't have to contribute to food or anything else...just the $400. I may, however, ask her to handle the vet bills on her cat.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Also, You will need to get renters' insurance on your belongings when you move. Have you looked into what your time limit is on changing the tags over on your vehicle from Ohio to NY? That might mean an inspection and higher vehicle insurance. You have to think about those things too.
I'm trying to think of all of the things I had to do when moving from one state to another many years ago.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Gross Monthly Income $3333 (after taxes $2917) D20 $400 Smokey $300 until house sells/divorce final...I could modify this, but I'm going to stay on the safe side with $300 monthly.
Total Monthly Income (Net): $3617
Savings $200 Rent $1550 Food $550 Water/Sewer $60 Internet $35 TV Satellite $25 Heat $200 Electric $150 Car Insurance $100 Pet Food/Litter $100 Gas/Transportation $250 (I will get reimbursed for job travel) Prescriptions/Medical/Dental $150 Clothing/Hair $150 Misc: $97
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
