Inside my chrysalis

[pilot]

ss, I really do not see anything wrong with your exchange. It came across as detached on both sides, as 2 neighbors discussing neighborhood business.

You are doing great. Keep your chin up!

[Ss06]

Tx Pilot!

I was just scrolling through your post!

[claire7]

His first question when I mentioned about the job and perhaps needing assistance like a nanny part time for the karate and whatnot after school... he said, "hopefully you'll be making enough where the nanny would be worth our while". I don't even know what that means.

When they say stuff like this I want to scream, "Wait, did you not realize that a D would IMPACT YOU FINANCIALLY?!?! Like, seriously? You are more of a fool than I thought." And isn't it amazing that WE are the ones who want to make it work!
Grrr.

[Ss06]

I know, Claire. I know. If I don't ignore most of what he says I'd be a raging lunatic full of anger. Oh wait.

So I reached out again thinking he was TRYING to say he'd rather have her over the weekend and not on weekdays:

Me: Hey, is it easier for you to just have her next weekend but come over for dinner or meet us out for dinner one day during the week? This stuff in particular is hard for me, please understand.

H: No, no. I get it. And this week is fine. I wasn't at my best self back there - my parents and my dad in particular effed up my chi. I'm sorry for that.

Me: I wasn't my best self either. A true insight into ho we play off each other's moods. A good thing for me to learn for sure.

I am absolutely flexible about D7's whereabouts until I get a job. I'm here to assist or take over if necessary but notice would be good. You know where to find me for help. I'm non punitive and safety remember? That's a joke.

H: No worries. Thank you.

I feel a little better.

I'll bet his dad was giving him chit about our separation. His parents don't know the meaning of "it's none of your business" and they PRY big time. I'm assuming here but I'll bet that's what went down.

[Joe1981]

No compliments? You did well, but you could have possibly rerouted much of that situation with some words of affirmation. Sometimes an ego stroke will change the way someone is interacting. Especially since that's his LL.

But really, you did well. Hope the wine was good.

[Ss06]

man, joe, you're right. missed opportunity there.

where could I have fit in a compliment? seriously, I need that kind of help. where could I have done that?

[Joe1981]

His interest in spending time w/ D7.

"It really fills my heart to see you taking such an active role in her life. She sure loves her dad."

I challenge you to notice 3 positive things about him each time you see him. And at least one every time you talk on the phone or via text. Only have to give one compliment though.

[Joe1981]

Time for a new thread, probably.

[Ss06]

Touche! I could totally have done that! Sheesh. How do I not see that in the moment?!

I challenge you to notice 3 positive things about him each time you see him. And at least one every time you talk on the phone or via text. Only have to give one compliment though.

Challenge accepted! Watch this space...

[Old Dog]

Touche! I could totally have done that! Sheesh. How do I not see that in the moment?!

I challenge you to notice 3 positive things about him each time you see him. And at least one every time you talk on the phone or via text. Only have to give one compliment though.

Challenge accepted! Watch this space...

--------
| Like |
--------

I made my own like button. Consider it pressed.