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Yes, GB. I get it. Totally.

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Nice weekend. Went to visit stbx ILs. I know stbxh is their son, however they have always been like parents to me. I'm sure that will change some, although they've been super supportive.

I ran yesterday and today. Yesterday it was close to 31,000 degrees. I assume what it felt like yesterday is equivalent to how it would feel to run on the surface of the sun:-). Took dog with me. He's a people magnet. He's tall (for a dog), dark, fluffy and handsome. What better company could I have asked for on my run??

Took D to Amish bakery and swam with S11. S4 was very demanding and funny.

Got a text from h asking me to take kids to school. So strange. I used to stress over what to say and when to say it. Now, when I I feel zingy (and I do have a good laugh at what he does and says-frequently) I just remind myself that it is very important for ME to feel good about the responses I send. And even a simple yes, can incite a cryptic response from h. I have zero control over that. Only me. And each day, I can put my head on my pillow and say that I was kind, gracious, and lived the best I could that day. That has nothing to with my stbx-that is who I am.

When I'm out and people chat with me, I'm reminded of how fortunate I am. I'm flawed. I can get a little anxious occasionally. I'm not impervious to sadness or fear. I'm just living the current hand I've been dealt. With 3 kids, a full time job, a dog, cat and hamster, I would say it's a full house :-)



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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I don't want to hijack anyone's thread (yes, I realize I do that and I'm doing my best not to anymore). I've been reading many threads and always respect everyone's opinion. I've seen reconnections (yay!!!) and so e faced with difficult choices. Here's the best part, regardless of which side of that fence you are in you WILL be fabulous:-). I've always thought piecing reconnecting looked tougher than surviving BD. I an quietly cheering you on. And for those facing D? It $u&ks doesn't it? I had to google to find out what this fully entailed and I will know more as I live it. However, you are not a failure. And 20% of couples that D remarry (I actually know a few) so as the wise ones say, keep the focus on you. You ARE worth it!!! I know it can be difficult to not get a wee bit bitter or angry. Work through it. It's normal. Your relationship status does not define the person you are.

Some of you are looking for jobs outside of the hem for the first time in many years or need a different job. I've worked in some shape form or fashion sense I was 10 an I wanted to share a story. 4 years ago I was working at a company that was struggling in a major financial way. I had been with the company for 12 years and recruiters and Hr in prospective employers thought I was a freak for being with a company that long. There had to be something wrong with me. I interviewed, interviewed and had more interviews for a year and a half. I literally had been up all night crying because I needed to support my family and leave the company due to it's perilous financial position. A recruiter called me for a position with a very sexy Silicon Valley company. I looked at their Board and these folks were Yale, Princeton, Forbes magazine fancy. Think pin strait hair, lithe figures, impossibly perfect noses and kids with hyphenated names at Chapin. (Nothing wrong with any of that. This is for illustrative purposes only). Me? There? I don't evening to comb my hair. I have football decor on my car. I could have gone to a fancy college, however I weighed the financials and said "no can do." Anyway, this position was coveted. They had over 80 people interview for the job. When I went for my first F2F interview , I was so nervous about my not so fancy yet nice interview ensemble and frizzy hair (darn you humidity!!!) that I accidentally drank out of the teapot versus the cup. Yes I did!! I was so afraid that I wasn't pedigreed enough or my work history wasn't eye brow raising enough. However, even though I may type grammatically incorrect, run on sentences, with typos on this board, I know I'm intelligent. I have a keen business mind. I KNEW that I could do this and knew my stuff. 3 weeks later I was told there had been no other choice other than me. Those other folks weren't even in the same ballpark said Harvard MBA hiring manager. My point is and there has to be one after all of that, is that I knew I could do it. Yes I had been deterred the year and a half prior and there was a reason this had to wait. I did it.

I'm no longer with said company although it was a phenomenal experience. Additionally, when people see my resume they say "oh wow. I see you were with x for 18 months." Don't doubt yourself. Heather, Shining, GGG, Maybell and so many others. You have so much to offer and you are a success.

My d9 gave me the ultimate compliment yesterday. She said, "mommy you always seem happy." (Happy. That word). I smiled and told her that I have bad days like everyone else. However, I'm blessed in so many ways and grateful for the gifts I have. I have so much to be *happy* about. Oh and I got some really cute boots for when it gets cooler on November:-)

Okay. Back to regular scheduled programming. I refuse to sign up for the MasterCard Victim In Life Rewards program. :-) Thanks to everyone for following along on my crazy thread. Happy Friday eve!!!

Last edited by Georgiabelle; 08/28/14 03:31 PM.


3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Wow. That was beautiful. And needed, for me. Struggling to find my self-worth and confidence this week. I know I had it here somewhere....

Thank you.

Why are we not more than virtual friends....

wink

So thankful for this board, and for people like you, GB.

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Thanks for the shout-out, GB.

Yes. We CAN!

smile

---GGG


Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?



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Oh my. I have been trying not to post about stbx and I cannot resist on this. He is going to x college town (where I went to school and gf goes) for the game. Stbxh did not go there. My goodness. I wonder if he's going to sit in the student section? Generally, adults that go are alumni or life long fans. Stbxh always made fun of "adults" who drank in the bars in said college town during game weekend.

I know they try on personas. It's like he's really trying to relive something with his gf and best friends who are 25. It's bizarre.

Oh well. We are finally getting ready for our yard sale next weekend and enjoying our pool. Happy Friday everyone :-)

Last edited by Georgiabelle; 08/29/14 02:50 PM.


3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Omg. I just realized a year ago today was our last vacation as a family of 5. I never knew a yr later I was going to get a D. I had no idea at the time that a few months later my stbxh said this vacation "traumatized" him at BD. He said he could never go on a vacation with kids again. To us crazy logical folks, it makes no sense. However, it is what it is. And what I'm most grateful I realized, is that stbxh is the example of "wherever you go, there you are."

Oh, my poor kiddos have been extra demanding lately. Older 2 need constant reminders I'm not leaving which is understandable. Little one asks many questions. "Why did you marry Daddy?" "Don't you love Daddy anymore?" Ugh. Hate those. I won't lie and am certainly not saying "sometimes grown ups grow apart" bs. I just answer as best I can.

My babysitter is home for college. Shhh. Don't tell the kids but I've arranged for her to come tomorrow night. A surprise for ME! If I told them now it would be mutiny and why can't they go with me.

Pool with peeps tomorrow during day. Football too. Although I will probably get to see some if Curious. George or Handy Manny plays.

Positive energy to all!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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GB what is 'normal' to a MLCer is very strange to us. This trying to be young again is pathetic. Other people find it pathetic - except apparently the OW and their friendship group!

And yes events we thought they enjoyed apparently traumatized them. Tough on the kids, but they do survive. And not what we wanted.

I love your not signing up to the victim with benefits plan. MLCers sign up big time to the 'I am a victim please give generously' campaign (Nitty's h if just like my xh - the victim in all of this - the one who left, broke up his family and treated everyone horribly has transformed into a victim. It takes a special skill to do that one).

And worst of all they do not go away - just like the toddler who keeps running into the room to tell you he hates you! I suspect that Job is right in this too - they think about us a great deal more than we think about them, as time goes by.

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Hi Georgia, just trying to get caught up on how things are going with you! You sound really good! smile

Did you get the situation with OW's F figured out? I agree with Julie up there (btw, hi Julie, how are you??) that you need to just be direct. Not demanding, necessarily, but very direct about the fact that it is not OK for the children to be around someone who is an accused molester.

I love that you have decided not to play the victim - I think that has been one of the biggest reasons I have been able to go from emotional rock bottom at BD to happy and moving on. Watching my XH play the victim has shown me an objective view of what that looks like, and it's pretty ugly. We do have to choose to march forward and choose to find happiness rather than stew in sadness.

It sounds like you and your H have agreed to everything financially and re: parenting time? That's great. I am sorry you have to sell your house. I have to do the same. I would not have chosen that route, but since the court has ordered it, I will make the best of it - I am sure that is what you are doing, too.

I should come over to the MLC board more often to see some of my old DB buddies! Not too many left on newcomers anymore.


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14
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Yes Melissa join us over here.

Georgia I love that your STBX is going to the college game and acting like college kid all over again. I could so not imagine living like a 25 yr old again or wanting that.

I look at my beautiful life with my kids and wouldn't trade it for 1 day of college.

Alcohol is a big part of my ex's MLC, it only makes the problem worse.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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