WAW had her therapy tonight. Came home and sat on the couch next to S3.5. Very close to me. I acted no different, but there were several times that we touched...which she usually avoids. Looked like she had been crying. Please go read my last few days of posts on the link above and let me know what you think. Tonight, as she was going to put S3.5 to bed I was getting socks and shoes on. She asked where I was going. I said basement to exercise. Closest thing to GAL I can do during the week is that or go shopping. She asks lots of questions these days. Before, she seemed to not care.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
So this morning she asked me again about the settlement and what I've written up from our discussion. I told her I was busy yesterday but got most of it done she said she felt like I was stalling. I asked her a question about the money. For such a quiet kind person she got angry very fast. I took a deep breath and reminded her that I just wanted to see the numbers that her and the attorney came up with. She was very angry. I take another deep breath and said I'm sorry that you're angry I'm just trying to protect myself I'm just trying to make sure that this is right before I sign it. I've been told her that I'm not having very much luck finding homes and she said that's not your only option. By now she's angry of course so she's being very short. I explained to her that I didn't want to get a place have my kids get comfortable there and have their own rooms to only uproot them once again when I find a home to buy. I'm trying to remain calm and be nice but it seems like it's her way or no way at all. I don't want to threaten having to get an attorney to go through paperwork to figure out if this number is correct I can do it myself but I'm going to have to dig as she takes care of the bills. Tonight I will go to her again and ask for these numbers if she does not give me them I guess I'm going to have to find out for myself which again will take a few days and will stall the signature process intern it will make her feel like I'm stalling and she will get mad. Not sure how that is divorced busting it seems like it would make her want to get rid of me quicker. Thoughts?
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
I feel for you going through the thing at the moment.
Hang in there!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Sorry, was a bit distracted when writing the ^^^ post.
I feel for you, I am going through the same thing at the moment.
Hang in there!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Very sad as I drive home from work this afternoon. I just want to hear her voice so I called and asked her about pulling something out of the freezer for dinner so I could cook. I know she appreciates when I cook she likes what I make I just feel really bad right now. I know I need to be detached which I'm doing very well at. I just feel lost. I don't want to give up hope just because I sign a settlement and have 60 days to find a place to live. I'm hoping some time apart will help her. I know there are no guarantees here. I just don't know what to do in the interim. Should I sign this as soon as she presented to me if it looks good? I feel that if I stall she will get angry and pull away even more. Based on her actions she seems more comfortable around me now that we can move forward. I guess she feels my intentions are not to reconcile. Unfortunately she goes out of town next week for work so we won't see our counselor until the following week. Have looked all over this for him today for anything or advice that might help me in this current slump.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
kept the conversation light. talked to her about my day. she listened. i did not ask about hers. oops. however, i failed to mention that last night when she sat down with us she told me about how tough the rest of her week will be. i listened and told her I know she will do well, but sorry she is stressed. i took care of S3.5 and cleaned the kitchen. I watched some shows with him, and then he wanted mom. As soon as I thought she was coming out of his room, I found several things to go do outside and in the garage. I needed to call an atty friend and ask question about $ today. I know she is honest and such. I just need legal advice. finishing the laundry she started and doing more reading. I guess I am doing the right thing. read that the one who cares less makes the other notice. maybe I can focus on that after the agreement is signed. I know she wants to help me, "as a friend", but she cannot have it both ways right now. Anyone been through this while DBing?
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
She has been in a much better mood the past few days. I remain cautious and patient. She wears her wedding ring some days some days she does not. I say nothing. I've looked at several houses in our city and having trouble locating one you know what they say if you don't need to buy house it's easier to find one. I make sure every night when they go to bed that I have places to go things to do. I use my lunch time at work to go buy new clothes. The weekends we don't have my older son with us I stay gone doing different things. I ask her nothing and she asks me almost everything. My problem is with the GAL and 180s is that when I get home and she wants to chat she asked me where I went if I bought anything and so on. Inside I get so excited that she's interested that I have verbal diarrhea and I say too much. She is being nicer because we're moving forward with things I'm sure and she feels a sense of relief and sees the end. So I'm asking the vets here at what point does she possibly get sad at me not being around. She wants to be best friends. We have a small child together we get along great other than this divorce thing and the other issue that we had that we talked about in therapy. Which is not a reason to divorce but I understand she's made up her mind and she's a W a W. The way our child schedule is set up after I move is that I have him on the weekend and then on Tuesday through Thursday. This alternates between both of us. The only time I will actually pick him up from her or take him to her will be Sunday evening the rest of the time I drop him at day care and pick him up at day care. I'm trying not to think negative and make negative things happen. However the reality is this is happening and I feel like I'm putting my head in the sand by being positive and thinking that she will eventually snap out of it. I am in this marathon I've been through the ups and the downs I'm not taking medication but have dealt with the feelings as they come. I'm an open book for any comments /suggestions.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
I have carried the weight of this marriage on my shoulders now since February. It's kind of a relief but at the same time I know that after I move I will have to go dark. I'm not ready to be demoted from husband to friend. Although she says she feels we will be very best friends for a long time, I love her too much to just be her friend right now.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
last night was working late. Project at work started this week and is all on me. keeps me focused on work. Got home and she was watching tv with S3.5 prior to bed time. She was quiet. I never asked her what was wrong. I focused on upbeat me and child. Later made a funny face when lifting S3.5 and I commented on him being heavy. She said, well, I am not feeling great. I told her that I was sorry she did not feel good, and then focused on child. Promises of a fun weekend and such to him. Earlier that morning I had mentioned to her something I was wanting to take the kids to do. She said I may want to call first to see if the place was open. I said I would and then mentioned... you are welcome to come too if you want. She later revealed her stomach was hurting. I walked into the bedroom and she mentioned going to sign Friday. I told her I would sign Monday. Grabbed my shoe and left the house for an hour. I never told her anything and she never asked. *I was checking out some potential homes FS and looking at neighborhoods at night to see how they were.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
I have journaled a lot the past few weeks here. I need some specific things to work on. After I sign, I am in the house for a while before I have to be out. Do I try to go dark then, or wait until I am out ? Anything I can do to be "seen" in the WAW eyes other than GAL and treat ER as a friend/parent?
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
