I think he is maybe starting to get where I am coming from. I just don't know if it will matter in the end. I am hoping at least for adoption. They have no idea what they are in for but I am trying to tell him. I know he needs me and has said so.
This is really the only time her mom is nice to her. I can't get how they say they are so religious because her mom used to kick her out about every three weeks or so. It hurts my head to try to figure this out. I would rather be honest with my son then sugar coat it. Uugghh!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hi Kat, our oldest d19 is adopted. After we had 7 miscarriages, what joy was brought into our life when that baby was laid into our arms. If they are not ready to commit to a family life, they sure can bless another family by giving up their baby. And our d19 is the most wonderful young lady there is!
The problem is they think they will keep it. He stopped working a few weeks ago without another job lined up and she just started working today. They both live at home. They think they will move in together and keep the baby.
I am trying to get him to realize what this will demand of him. He also supposedly wants to stay in school. I get that I can't fix this but I can inform him. How appropriate that yahoo had the cost of a baby as an article today. I am trying to also get them to see what will be best for the baby.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kudos to you for trying to present a calm and realistic picture for them. I can't imagine how I would be handling this - certainly not as well as you.
It's a delicate balance and just realize that if you pull too hard in one direction - they may simply dig their heels in and lean in the opposite direction. Make yourself available to him and take the openings to discuss it that he gives without making it feel like a lecture. Easy for me to say - even harder if not impossible to do.
I am not always that calm. Lol. I cried on Saturday night. I do that...cry when I get mad. He wanted to spend the night at his girlfriends, I told him no. I would come get him if she isn't feeling well enough to drive him back home.
The thing is he still lives here. There are rules here. I am not trying to push him out but I do want him to keep with the rules that I try to maintain. So he came home on his own. He wasn't too happy with me, thus the edgy night. He told me that he knew he wasn't ready and he really needed my help. We are slowly talking. I did have him admit that he is trying to not be his dad and be there for his child. I get that, really. However, I told him that he would probably have to work at least two jobs. That this child has a 50% chance of having his medical issues and possibly some of hers( not sure if hers are genetic). They just keep thinking insurance covering the cost of having the baby. They aren't thinking of the after.
I know they are talking and he said he is listening to me. She hasn't really talked to me the last few times she has been over. They just go and talk in the back. Hopefully reason will get past the emotion.
Keep us in your prayers...that I can keep it together.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So what could I had to this crazy soup of mine to make it even more interesting? How about a storm, a tree branch and my bad neighbors next door? Yep sometime last night a tree branch from the neighbors tree decided to check out my back window of my car up close and personal. I didn't notice this morning because my neighbors moved the tree branch but didn't bother to say a word to me. I noticed it while driving the girls to school.
So I spent the morning on the phone with the insurance company and the glass replacement people when I noticed a dent and a couple other places that might have some minor damage. Called back the insurance guy, updated my claim, arranged to go to the body shop (they can take care of the window too) and called my former mother in law to see if I could borrow her car for a couple of days.
Took the whole morning to get all of that worked out and done and now I am at work. What did I do to get that Karma I wonder?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Alright I applied for the job that telecommutes working to help solve homelessness. I also applied for a federal job. Just made the cut off on that late last night. I am going to keep applying and looking. I need an additional 600 a month to start. If it is close I might consider, just depends how much movement is available.
If I can piece together some other stuff all the better. Wish me luck!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hi Kat, let's start with the good stuff - great job applying for the new jobs. And a noble job helping others, it reveals a lot about your heart and character. Let's see this as a new start.
I'm sorry about the tree attacking your car's back window. The neighbors saw it and didn't even knock on the door to tell you about it? Crazy?! What spices do you add to the crazy soup of your life?
A co-worker of mine was without electricity for a week during the ice storm last winter. AFter staying on a friends couch, he returned home and a tree fell on his car in the driveway. Sh!t happens...sorry it happened to you!
My cable DVR has been messing up off and on and last night I had it! So I took the issue by the horns and took the DVR in and had them give me a new one. All set up, now let's see if I can watch my tv for more than 10 minutes
I probably won't get my car back until the end of next week. My former mother in law is being wonderful and letting me keep her car until it is done. So glad we are reconnecting and rebuilding bridges. I always loved her. My father in law, not so much.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
