lol! Just found the WAH's online dating profile by chance. Of course the profile photo is a picture I took at a romantic dinner we had a few months back. But you know it is a good thing when you don't really feel upset and jealous at finding something like this, instead you feel like laughing! It's not a very flattering photo and the profile information is stupid. I wouldn't date that guy!
Feeling better... Hugs, LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
When you do have contact with him, that is why it is important to be super happy, friendly, PMA, etc. So he does not think you are being NC out of anger or sadness. So the few times you have to have contact during NC, be that happy chipper self. Then go NC. It will make him wonder. It works!
Where's the like button on this site?
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
I'm going to take your advice. My plan is this, let's see how it works. Tomorrow he will likely contact me as he wants to come by my house to pick up some things. Even though this is a logistical thing I am not going to answer as I already told him last week that he could come by. I'm going to see how he reacts. Of course he can still come by, I am not stopping him so it is not a threat to the logistics or anyone's safety haha.
I feel a bit weird playing a game but I want to test out NC/no reply and see what happens.
I read something today that I thought was interesting: "Don't be so predictable! Your purpose is to convince him that events are swirling out of control and may take him in directions he has not anticipated. You would be wise to turn the whole thing upside down"
Thinking about how I can do that... other than start seeing someone new.
Have a great day! Hugs, Lisa B
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
I read something today that I thought was interesting: "Don't be so predictable! Your purpose is to convince him that events are swirling out of control and may take him in directions he has not anticipated. You would be wise to turn the whole thing upside down"
Thinking about how I can do that... other than start seeing someone new.
That'll be "do something different" and 180s then.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
You know I've been thinking about doing something radical that would shock my wife too.
I've been vegetarian* for 31 years - she used to ask when I'm going to give up this 'fad', but I've even thought of chowing down on a big fat steak. That would give her something to think about.
* that's someone who doesn't eat meat to all you Americans out there ;-)
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Haha Old Dog! Vegetarian for 31 years? That would be a funny 180 if you could choke down a juicy steak. But then again she might think you have gone absolutely bonkers!
Woke up last night in the middle of the night and had a thought: Do I even want to get back together? Can I ever trust him again? If so, is it worth the hard work? My gut feeling was no, it is impossible/too much work to trust again. Felt a bit sad and went back to sleep.
This morning while jogging had another random thought: I was the fun, interesting and fabulous one in the relationship. He was boring. Then I became boring too. Maybe I don't want him, I could do much better.
From past experiences I know these thoughts are deadly for the WAS. There comes a time when the LBS gets over the shock of rejection and realizes that they might be better off without the WAS. The tables turn and the LBS becomes the WAS. I wonder if that time is here for me, or if I'm simply having a good, strong day.
A good day is a good day and I am going to embrace it. Hope you all are having a good one too. Hugs, Lisa B
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
Lisa, I have had those thoughts too. I think it's the shock wearing off and our sense of worth re asserting itself. I'm not completely sure I can get over it but I'd like the opportunity to give it an honest try. Occasionally I see glimmers of the guy I married in the remote person who left me and it's worth the effort for that guy.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Old Dog, I'm not a vegetarian but I stopped eating red meat about 10 years ago. Since the separation, I've eaten about a half dozen cheeseburgers. It feels good to do something different, even if I'm the only one who knows about it.
Originally Posted By: LisaB
Woke up last night in the middle of the night and had a thought: Do I even want to get back together? Can I ever trust him again? If so, is it worth the hard work? My gut feeling was no, it is impossible/too much work to trust again. Felt a bit sad and went back to sleep.
I have had those thoughts a lot too, especially in the beginning. I've just tried to tell myself that it's not time yet to think about trust. I don't have to trust him right now. That will come later, if at all. For now, I'm trying to work on being trustworthy myself.
That said, I do think it's great that you're recognizing what you have to offer yourself, and seeing that you could be happier without your H, if you choose to let go. I hope you have many strong days to come!
