Thankfully, my H doesn't have social media (nor do I, except for professional reasons). I think I would be one who snooped, saw something horribly painful and then would get obsessed about it! Lol thankfully someone's looking out for me!!!
Glad you got to go to the pool!! Gotta get a tan for all your admirers!!!
Last edited by artsy; 07/27/1402:23 AM.
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
You are so sweet Artsy:). I just put a gold star in your permanent record. You know it follows you everywhere.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 07/27/1403:19 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I welcome any insight from Wonka, Job, Bea or anyone really as to something I've been think in about. I do realize that my crazy logical thinking doesn't work on insanity. However, a friend of mine mentioned something to me that I've been pondering.
H's girlfriend says she has rescued him and h says she saved him. Yet, he says he cannot stand to be alone. I realize there is no answer to the unanswerable, however, is this just distraction? She rescued him from responsibilities? Fatherhood? Does someone going through MLC really think they get a do over on their life? It's my crazy analytical mind:-) No, it doesn't change anything I do. Just think it's odd that they sort of erase the past and dive right into something else.
Hope the week is off to a good start.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Just think it's odd that they sort of erase the past and dive right into something else.
Yes, it is odd and yes that is what they do! Some of them come out - Raine and TVS, others stay in (my xh job, Urworthy etc)
I do not think it is anything we do - although my admiration for those who renegotiate their marriage is immense.
I also think there are the mean ones and the kitty kitten ones - but whatever their words, their actions, in abandoning their previous life, children pets, responsibilities etc., are not nice!
Does someone going through MLC really think they get a do over on their life?
Based on my W, it appears they do, or try to believe that, or that is what they want.
As a big analyzer myself, all you can really do is put everything into the "hypothesis" category, until they/if they come out and have insight into themselves and can talk about it.
My W is getting to that stage, some. But she still "has to go find herself".
As job says "The answers will come"...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I will share here what I know based on my own experience as a former MLCer.
Originally Posted By: Georgiabelle
H's girlfriend says she has rescued him and h says she saved him. Yet, he says he cannot stand to be alone. I realize there is no answer to the unanswerable, however, is this just distraction? She rescued him from responsibilities? Fatherhood?
With my OW, she was just there/available for the taking. In your H's case, if I remember correctly, he had a very bad meltdown via Twitter when he cried that he just wanted someone to love him. It is the internal angst of someone who's in a ton of pain.
Cue OW for H. As you would remember from reading around here, a lot of the times, those types of OWs are broken people themselves. So for a 18-year old college student, I'd say that she's not yet developed a life experience. In my view, H just grabbed whoever wanted him which is why a lot of the times those A's are "affaired down" affairs (ooohhh..what a play on that word!)
What H does not YET realize is that OW did not save him...but HE needs to save himself. Obviously, he's not yet there at the moment. Not by a long shot given his crazy-making antics.
Does someone going through MLC really think they get a do over on their life?
Yep. We're seeking something that will boost our fragile sense of self. Remember when I shared that I felt I had accomplished nothing, felt gypped that this is what life had to offer me, and feeling squeezed from all corners in our day-to-day responsibilities after buying the house.
So yes, in a way...we're trying to recreate the ideal "life" inside our heads thereby seeking out external relief from our own internal misery.
You are right that it isn't fun to be a MLCer going through MLC. Starring in your own Dante's Inferno...and you're the star of the play. Geeesh!
Bea, you're right that we weren't nice at all in dumping you and the family when the MLC chit hit us. I feel extremely lucky to be one of the few ones who made it through to the other side.
Well I was thinking that some people who don't come out of it may be those who are weaker of character? I know that many in mlc act cowardly in their actions and not facing things, but do you think the core self, the ones with real internal strength are the ones who eventually go through? I wonder if those who never experienced any real stability or role-models growing up are those who don't have the capacity to make it through? I really have no idea... just pondering.
So, Wonka, how do you think you can tell the difference between those with real internal angst who seek ow, or those who have ow ready and willing? Do you think there is a combination of both sometimes?
Let me clarify... by weaker character, meaning that they never really had the tools to face things and work through them. So this mlc, which we all know is a crisis, may be too much for those who don't know how to deal with those emotions/issues. This may be why some just wander around not even know what is going on or how to deal, while other may have been more equipped.
Maybe I just need more sleep.
Yes, I agree- they are definitely trying to start over. Wow! Amazing to think it could be so easy?!
