Dealing with WAW Part 2

[pilot]

Well we have been texting back and forth this evening. Idle fun stuff mostly. She replied about the kid picts and left an opening for me to reply to her. I did, and a back and forth started.

Dunno if I should be doing this....

[Thornton]

Go for it, just make sure you end the convo before she does.

[topgunmb]

I think it's great that you sent her pictures of the kids. Even when things were at their worst between my W and I, I would text her a good night picture of the kids. I started this when she started to go off the rails in hopes that it would remind her of the two sweet faces that were waiting for her. At first, I didn't think it really meant that much to her because she was so cold most of the time. Then she told me one night that it meant a lot to her that I sent those pictures and that she had been saving all of them. When school started back up for them, I would send a good morning picture from each of them and she would respond to them. There have been nights and mornings where I haven't particularly felt like sending pictures to her and she actually texts me to ask why there wasn't a morning/night picture. (I always take one)

Anyway, it's good to hear that it seems to have been a positive for you!

[pilot]

Thanks Thorn and top. I let her send the last text about an hour ago. I did not reply. Strangely as I was typing "top" she sent another text just now.

I have no expectations of this going anywhere. I just kinda feel like I caved on the NC for no apparent reason. Oh well, what is done is done. Things seem to be going in a pleasant direction so I will leave it at that.

[pilot]

Ok so our texting went on till after midnight. She ended it with a "Goodnight!"

The texts were all positive happy things. I had sent her a picture of a bushwhacker I had earlier this evening, and we talked about drinks we liked from one of our vacation spots. She wanted to make one so she did and sent me a pict. You get the gist. She had asked me to run an errand for her when we swapped kids earlier today that she is unable to do because of where she is. She asked me again tonight if I would be able to do it, I said yes, and threw in I would be looking at another school for the kids while I was out doing it. Then she threw me and said she had looked at a school where her parents are as well. 10 days ago she seemed on board with locating here, now it seems that might not be the case. So that was a negative moment. Other than that, everything went well.

Now again, I should be happy for a positive interaction. But since my W had an A and I do not know the status, am I not supposed to have these kinds of interactions until I know it is over?

Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated!

[Thornton]

Good stuff, Pilot!

Dont worry about the A right now. The timing isn't right to talk about it IMO.

She seems to be warming up. Keep doing what works in your sitch. Timing is important.

[pilot]

Ok, so today was pretty much non stop texting from her. She initiated texting this morning. I was always pleasant, happy, but I never asked/text replies which would carry on an extended conversation. It would always end with her text. When I would not reply in 20-30 minutes, she would send another text...new subject. Never R talk or anything serious. Always fun stuff. Example, she would send a text with an album cover and lyrics from a song...and she would say "this is you".

So I get that it was a good day. Not sure her motives...would be mind reading to speculate. However, getting close to dinner time, while she was texting, she sent one saying she had time to facetime the kids if they were able. We had just gotten in the car, so that is always a good time since they are strapped in. She started talking to my oldest (5) asking if we were going to our regular Tuesday night place to eat. He said yes, and we were meeting a friend. Since she was on speaker, I could hear everything. She said "What? Who are you meeting?" Then my son asked me who we were meeting. I told him (and she could hear me) we were meeting the friend you have played with before. There was a pause on her side, then she resumed talking to him for a bit, then my younger son, then she got off the phone. She has not sent a text since. Heh. Whoops

[Thornton]

Things are getting interesting, Pilot.

Is the friend you met for dinner, someone you are dating?

[pilot]

Not dating. And I would not really call it dinner. It was at Moes Southwest Grill. I take my kids there every Tuesday night (free kids night). It has been a tradition for a couple years. A little more difficult where I live now because the closest one is 45 minutes away. The person who joined us was the same girl I invited to our kids bday party the first week we started our S and my wife was there as well. W does not know that it was her who I was with. I am reasonably certain she may suspect, but honestly I am not concerned. This girl and I are friends...nothing physical. IF the texting stopped as a reaction to her learning I was meeting someone for dinner, I would think it odd/hypocritical for her to take that position. But there is no certainty she was reacting negatively to that news. Perhaps she had planned to not text anymore for the rest of the day anyways.

[pilot]

Still looking for advice on how to proceed.