What to do

[Ben2010]

So I went to church last night. Had a new shirt and pants that I bought so that I could walk in there with some confidence. I arrived early so that I could sit in the back and let her choose to sit with me if she wanted. She arrived late and did come sit with me. She didnt say anything the whole time other than "Hi". It was the best hour of my entire week. I was just happy to be around her. Im finding it very hard to detach. Coincidentally, the sermon was about reaping what you sow...When church was over we walked outside and talked for a few minutes about her weekend. I told her that she looked good and like she lost weight. She told me that she didnt lose weight, maybe she gained some. She told me that she liked my new shirt. She seemed to be in a hurry to leave and said she was going to pick up her niece. Told me she would call me that night or tomorrow. Did not get a call from her. When I got home I may have made a mistake. She texted me on her way home and asked me if she hit a curb while driving, that is a joke between us that I always tell her she hit the curb, she says she didnt. I texted her back "lol shut up". When I got home I decided that since she was in a joking mood that I would text her. I said "Im sorry but you looked very sexy". I immediately regretted it. I got no response from her and sat and thought about what a dummy I was all night. I broke down into tears, which I dont really cry. Thats when the pain of the whole thing sets in. I hope that Im just overthinking this.

[Thornton]

Anytime you think you want to reach out to her, read Sandi's 37 rules. Each and every time ok?

[Wonka]

Ben,

So you've hit a speed bump here....

She texted me on her way home and asked me if she hit a curb while driving, that is a joke between us that I always tell her she hit the curb, she says she didnt. I texted her back "lol shut up". When I got home I decided that since she was in a joking mood that I would text her. I said "Im sorry but you looked very sexy". I immediately regretted it. I got no response from her and sat and thought about what a dummy I was all night.

As you know by now, any personal references to W's looks or body or whatever, zip it. When husbands get a positive response from their wives, they want more and more. The true test of a DBer is to be light and breezy. And short!

You'd have left W with a positive impression if you had left it at "lol. shut up"

We've all experienced this at one time in our early DBing. Yep...I've done my share of that crap too. It just comes across as clingy and leering. Not good.

Lesson learned. Dust yourself off and get back to GALing.

[loualea]

Hi Ben
we all do it.. it seems to be getting better and we forget what a fragile thing it is..
Light and breezy even when it hurts
Small contacts ..and boy doesn't that hurt..

waited today for a call.. finally a text .. call tomorrow.. but that is better than before when it was a grudging "what do you want " or silence..
Hard as it seems the space and lack of contact can help..hang in there..

[Ben2010]

It just feels so unnatural to treat my own W as a friend. I hate this. Thats pretty much spot on though. It feels like 2 weeks of work down the drain. I can do ok for a while and then she calls me and talks for 45 minutes and gets me right back on the hook.

[rayzzz]

arrrrrghhh. I totally agree with everyone here. Follow my policy: when WAW looks hot just turn around with this stupid grin, grab the nearest readable book and start laughing like crazy. Completely weirds her out. Detach away dawgs....

[Ben2010]

Lol are you sure thats the best method. Not sure she wouldnt think im nuts then.

[Ben2010]

Does anyone else have issues with loss of appetite? I find myself very rarely hungry. I think I have eaten a can of Dinty Moore beef stew and one hotdog since friday. I try to force it but it just makes me sick.

[GoatGal]

Can't eat either.
Except there's this weird middle-of-the-night granola binge thing now.

[Nettles]

That's what I meant about knowing the feeling in the gut that won't go away. You can't eat and it is hard to sleep.

What is your favorite thing to eat? Try to mix in some comfort food until you get your appetite back. Also, if you needed to lose some weight, spin it to a positive. You are on the most effective diet known to man (or woman). Guaranteed to work every time!