"in what universe...?" part 6

[hotwheelsaust]

I wish others that I know would follow my lead Life would be less stressful if everyone had a PMA

And that is why we are putting all this effort into DB principles.

[TryingToDo180]

I agree

[Not Quitting]

You already know my thoughts on this TTD, but I'll say it on here.

Moving on isn't an easy decision and only you know when you are ready to move on. I think it is great that you have reached that point. You've come a long way, you stood for your marriage when your family and friends told you not to. We both did, and it's almost funny that we both reached this point at almost the same time.

Now is your time. You've got my support as you take this next step .

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks NQ, I'm glad I've got your support it means a lot You have my support also

[TryingToDo180]

Well my H has been acting really strange of late! It seems that maybe he might be coming out of his crisis, but then again he might either want something or just be good friends. Who knows how these MLC's minds work, lol. What I don't want is him to be all nice so he can get back into my good books and then want to come home.
I got a text from him late last night, but I only picked it up this morning. Strange behaviour #1 - He asked how our son was doing back at college. He's never asked THAT before! For those who know my H from reading my thread will know that normally it's hit and miss as to how interested he is about seeing his son.
Strange behaviour #2 - This morning I texted him back and said that he's not started back at college yet. I got a message back about half an hour later saying "you woke me up :(" I replied "sorry :(". The strange behaviour was that he continued texting back and forth whilst I was on the way to college, cracking jokes and having a general light hearted convo.
Strange behaviour #3 - As some of you know he's been leaving a cat toy on my monitor. He's not found a mouse to put up there and so he left me a toy Dennis the Menace instead. Over the holidays he asked me why I've not mentioned the mouse and I just said I keep forgetting (Go me! pah this 180 is a lark! lol). Anyway he said that it was just for a laugh and so I know he's been in the house. Yeah I thought that, lol.
Strange behaviour #4 - Right well I had to find out why he was being nice and how the land lies so I did a 360 tonight and rang him for a change. I can safely say, though I may be wrong, that he's not thinking of coming home In fact he couldn't get me off the phone quick enough, lol. Phew ! I think it's safe to move on Don't get me wrong, I do want to move on and I don't want him back but I will feel guilty if he wants to return and I have to say no to him. I wouldn't like the thought of him going back to his flat and being upset over this or maybe having MIL on the phone to me asking why I won't have him back.
After talking with my IC yesterday, I realised that I'm starting to know myself a bit better. If you'd asked me a few months back to describe what I'm like, I would've probably said that I'm a good listener and that is that However, I know now that I am far more than that and I'm getting round to loving myself again Something that I've not done for a long time! Anyway, I realise now that I'm compassionate and I put myself in other people's shoes a lot. This is hard on me as it makes me feel awful if I upset anyone.
I've also started back at college and joking more with the girls I really feel that my load has been lightened since I'm not standing for him anymore Before I was the little wife at home and part of a couple, now I'm an independent woman with a mind of her own I am never going to let anyone take that independence from me again I've got my H to thank for this for leaving me, MWD for writing 2 great books and all the support that I've gotton on this forum and the close friends I've made Even better is the people on here allow you to grieve your R and come to your own outcome in your own time This forum is different from other forums in that they don't keep on saying - you're at fault, it's all his fault, don't have him back, etc. etc. If I want that kind of support, I've got friends like that, lol. Why go on a forum just to have someone validate something that you already know or don't want to do just yet! lol.
The only thing wrong with this forum is that I've started picking up other's accents and sayings, lol. Only kidding
Sooo anyway, still continuing to move forwards and not backwards Which is my motto for 2014

[3boymom]

I love your update T! I have thought so many times about where I would be right now if I has not found DR and this forum. It is actually scary to think about because I was in such a bad place before. It is crazy to think that absolute strangers can do things for you and support you better than friends and family.

Look at what you have done. You have a great new year to look forward to

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks 3boyzmom
I remembered another strange behaviour #5 - I've lost count now, lol. When he said bye on the phone, he told me to take care and thanks. I said thanks for what? He said for letting me have a bath this morning. Oh ok, lol. He asks me if he can have a bath here occasionally as he's only got a shower at his flat.

[Rick1963]

You said no right.? You told him to use the outhouse right?

[TryingToDo180]

Rick, no I didn't say no. If he's cake eating, I'm not bothered anymore. This is half his house after all, unfortunately He's been doing little jobs around the house as well, so it's tit for tat. That's what I said to him last time he wanted a bath, well I've got some jobs for you to do

[MileHigh]

TTD. Wow, that was a heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing that. What a journey it's been. I feel honored to have been along for part of it and being able to help, and for all the help you've given me (not forgetting NQ, either. ).

Oh, and I almost forgot - AWESOME! (Couldn't think of another bit of American slang you may have picked up at the moment, but that'll do for now...).