Bottom of the ninth

[BklynMom]

I am feeling down. My kids are still away until Monday and I miss them and feel lonely.

I am supposed to clean my apartment tonight which is a mess but am having a pity party instead.

I called the girls at my former in-laws and spoke with them for about 2 seconds each. My MIL said they were having a great Christmas with all the kids there and she said "Thank you so much for sending us the Christmas Card with the picture of the girls". That really triggered me for some reason.

I am going to hit submit then clean for 1/2 hour before checking these boards again.

Thanks everyone

[wishing, hoping]

Oh BK I know exactly how you feel!!! It svcks doesn't it??? I wish I could give you a big hug!!!

The holidays don't mean the same without our kids. I had a pity party too. I felt better last night after talking to the kids. Holding them and seeing them does me a world of good.

Please know you are not alone!! I'm here as are others!!!

WH

[BklynMom]

Thanks WH.

I helps to know I am not alone.

I cleaned for 10 mins then talked on the phone, my apartment is still a wreck!

[NLW]

Hey BK, I know how you feel.

I really felt down on Xmas Day (too tired and trying to do too much and make everything perfect).

I couldn't even clear the table for 2 days but i am working myself out of it.

As we know, these feelings pass... but boy it 's hard.

Hugs to you, and please know that you are not alone.

[BklynMom]

Thanks NLW, you hang in there too, its a freakin roller coaster.

So I had a little bit of a self awareness breakthrough today.

I realized that I am obsessed with people pleasing, especially people pleasing my ex. I somehow still think like a 20 year old girl that I can win his affection back.

I have used elements of DBing to condone my actions. Db says be kind and nice to the MLCer, I am overly kind and nice even when he is being mean and an A$$ to me.

I will not win in back by being a nice girl or his friend - whatever I do he is gonna call me a B!tch.

I need to continue to GAL - which I already do and stop trying to convince this jerk to come home.

[BklynMom]

Somehow after I feel down I take the roller coaster back up and feel even better.

Kids are home and I have reached a new level of letting go.

Happy New Year to us all!!

[wishing, hoping]

Ditto, BK. Ditto.

We are in the same boat.

Cheers,
WH

[labug]

Somehow after I feel down I take the roller coaster back up and feel even better.

Kids are home and I have reached a new level of letting go.

Happy New Year to us all!!

BK, you just continue to dig deep and work on you. I'm inspired by you.

All the best to you and your Ds in the new year.

[BklynMom]

It is so amazing to feel that I inspire you Labug, the complement means a lot.

Great day today in the snow here in Bklyn. I know ex didnt work and I really thought he would call and say hi to the girls and maybe take them sledding. We didn't hear a word from him.

It was disappointing but my Alanon friend told me I need to stop trying to buy oranges at the hardware store. She was right.

[keep_going]

BK - Happy new year.
I am glad to hear about your continued journey to become a better you.

About the oranges - yes, it's all about having no expectations and true detachment. Always an on-going effort for sure.

I am glad you are enjoying the snow.

(((((((BK)))))))