Thanks tiger, busting, and job. I’m in my vacation home. Drove here on Saturday after two Thanksgiving dinners in a row, at my BIL (H’s brother) on Thursday and at my sister’s on Friday.
Job, I also thought that these things with my phone and other stuff happened for a reason. I’m glad I stayed and spent the Thanksgiving with the family. It was kind of weird at my BIL’s dinner. Normally he is very organized and cooks some great meals. This time it looked like it was put together at the last minute. He did have a turkey in the oven, but the rest of the things were just kind of on the fly. My sister and her H were surprised too. There was nobody else invited besides my family, which is also unusual for BIL. His new GF showed up later, after we already ate. We had a few more drinks. The GF was very chatty and at some point my BIL became upset with something she said. I could not figure it out, but I think she just was chatter box and it annoyed him because he was trying to ask about everybody’s life recently.
It was after 5 pm when I noticed the text from H on my phone wishing me Happy Thanksgiving. I replied with thanks and wished him the same. Then my sister’s H told me that he got the text from H too. It seems that all my family got the text and it seems like it was a mass text. Well, I was grateful for that, because earlier in the day I was thinking that H would not even acknowledge us at all. I guess he thought about it all day, because it was about 7 pm his time when he finally decided to send the text.
Well, have to go now. Will have more updated later. And I will catch up with everybody’s threads as well.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright, I'm glad you arrived at you vacation home safe and sound. I do hope that you can get some much needed rest while there.
Your BIL's Thanksgiving was quite interesting. He must have had a lot on his mind if he didn't have it all quite together. I'm glad the family was there to enjoy the day w/him. As for his GF...may her being a chatter box grated on his nerves because he was trying to catch up on everybody's lives.
As for your h, he held out until late in the evening and when he discovered no one was texting him with "Happy Thanksgiving", he opted to text to you and others. Maybe he finally realized that everyone was having a good time and he was on the back burner and wanted to remind all of you that he was still out there visiting Mars. Post cards do come floating in when they don't hear from us around certain events.
Please take care of yourself. Enjoy your time away and do some fun things while you are there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Bf I'm glad your thanksgiving went smoothly and you are now at vacation home... I know you like it there :-)
Just wanted to say hi- I have to go now and will be back later x
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Job, this is interesting observation about my H waiting for the last moment. I’m pretty sure that none of my family sent him Happy Thanksgiving before he did it. He pretty much removed himself from our lives, so I don’t think anybody thought of contacting him. But, they all replied to his text. I don’t know if my BIL told him that we were coming to his house for dinner. It is funny how they just don’t communicate much with each other besides the football. I’m pretty sure that H spent the holiday by himself, I’ve seen his expenses for last week and it looks like he just went to a restaurant.
I don’t know if he is still on Mars or not. My friends here told me that he called and said that he is not sure when he is going to finish his work there and move to the vacation home for the winter. It seems like he thinks he needs to keep working because he hasn’t made enough money. So, he might come to the vacation home for Christmas, but he would have to go back to work. Welcome to the reality…
It seems like my BIL really wanted to get his “family fix” with all of us, since he doesn’t have his own family. And we do seem more stable as a family compared to H’s family.
I’m actually feeling sad right now. I had such a good time in my vacation home in the last few months when I could come here any time I wanted. Now, I have to coordinate with H and it makes me uneasy. I don’t really want to stay in the same condo with him. It is interesting, because I was willing to do it last year and it didn’t seem a big deal to me. He moved out every time I came over. This year, I feel that I need him to move out, so I could fully relax and enjoy my time. I don’t know why I feel this now.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
BF, it's simply because we move forward with our lives too. But just as the holidays cause some people to feel more sadness or grief, other times I think it is a catalyst to be done with all the reminders etc. for the LBS.
The whole "if you're not here, you might as well be really not here and let me get on with it." That's how I feel sometimes.
The whole "if you're not here, you might as well be really not here and let me get on with it." That's how I feel sometimes.
Ruby, you described it better than I did. This is how I feel more and more, and sometimes I think I would just want H to go away for good.
On another note… I forgot to mention that H sent me an updated company file and for the first time ever thanked me for mailing his mail to him (regular mail)! He called me by name and signed his name at the end. I sent him his mail multiple times (including with his Viagra) since May, but he never acknowledged receiving it, which started to p!ss me off recently. Well, I guess he heard my angry vibes over the air, LOL.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I am glad to see you got a little appreciation FINALLY, BF. Woo hoo for small miracles, right?
I think job's observation is really good about the text.
Hope things are lovely at the vacation home. Enjoy that beautiful weather!
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
I hope you are feeling better in your vacation home today BF.
I like what Ruby said....I think its a valid feeling.
And yes, a small Yippee for finally getting thanked! :-)
I hope you are well xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks everybody for stopping by. I’m back home from my vacation home. The weather was starting to get cold over there, but we (my dog and I) still went to the ocean when the tide was in. I brought a towel and laid down close to the shore so I could hear the waves crushing. I looked at the clouds in the sky forming into the shapes and then disappearing. My dog laid down next to me and watched the ocean. It was amazing to see his face, like he was reflecting on himself, LOL. Maybe my dog has some insights after all, you never know, haha.
I was kind of sad to leave this time, because I don’t when I would be able to go there again and be on my own. I’m assuming H is going to show up here at the end of the year to go to the annual college football games with his brother. Then he will go to the vacation home.
My friends in Mexico were talking again about how H’s intention was for us to stay “the best friends” and go to each other’s family gatherings. Even though it doesn’t look like it is working that way for him, I’m still thinking what might happen during this holiday season. My family’s big celebration is New Years, so I’m kind of thinking what I would do if H asks me about that. Part of me doesn’t want him to be with us during the New Years, I want to feel completely relaxed and happy and his presence would bring some tension (well, until I drink enough, LOL.) Then I remember all the good advice on this board and think I should have the door cracked a little... I just don’t know what to do, and it causes me a great deal of anxiety.
I’m so not looking forward to him coming here. When I think that I would have to interact with him in person, I get scarred. It’s been 6 months since we saw each other and almost 3 months since we talked on the phone.
And another thing… Do I acknowledge his e-mail with thanks for his mail? I just don’t know anymore. Am I trying to hold to something that is already gone long time ago?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Woo hoo for small miracles, right?