Working more on me!

[mishka422]

Oh, you know it! His dad was a marine. He's got his back!

[mishka422]

Marc has his first 'official' DEP meeting tonight at his recruiters office. He has to go the first and third Wednesdays of the month until he ships out. He is still so excited about what he is doing and I couldn't be any happier about it. To see him with a plan in place makes this momma super happy.

[mishka422]

There are so many emotions running around my head right now.

The household is down to one working vehicle. Gabe's car has been broken down for several months with very expensive repairs needed so he has been driving the golf cart to work. Thankfully that is an option until now. Now, the batteries in the golf cart have finally given up. It needs a full new set - $600. That's less than the repairs on the car but more money than I've got access to. It got to me big time this morning and I had to go hide in the bathroom and just cry it out. UGH! I hate that!

As much as I hope that Thanksgiving will be fun, I have a bad feeling about it. Being in TN, up in the Smokies in a huge chalet with my family should be fun right? But.....I feel like a third wheel in their close knit families. They are my cousins but they are all from one portion of the family so they have closer ties. They work together, play together, etc. I seem to only get to spend time with them during holidays even though we all live within 2 miles of each other. It feels like I'm an obligation they have to invite because of the holiday. I'm just hoping to make the best of it.

Lastly, my heart is breaking a little bit because I'm realizing that this is going to be a season of lasts with Marc. Last birthday (he turns 19 on this Tuesday), last Thanksgiving, last Christmas, and New Year. I want to make it memorable for all of us but he's a boy and he could care less. It really stinks to be the only girl in the house. Heck, even the darned dog is a boy!

[kat727]

Sweetie, these won't be the last of anything! You are his Mom, he will always manage holidays here and there. I think you are more scared that it will be you and Gabe and you will need to work yourselves out.

Have you asked Gabe if he has an ideas for a solution to your car problems? This isn't all on you you know. Have you thought he could drop you off at work and then pick you up or vice versa. Has he looked for car parts at salvage yards, eBay etc? You guys are in this together, start inviting him in to find solutions. Has he started working on the car? Does he want to sell it for enough money to buy the batteries for the golfcart? There are options.

I doubt that your family thinks of you as a third wheel. Do you invite them to get together? Do you do things with them outside of holidays? Do you want to? Have them over for a movie night, potluck dinner, to play games. Put yourself out there, you might surprise yourself.

Hugs, kat

[mishka422]

The car doesn't actually belong to Gabe, it belongs to a friend of ours who gave it to him to use. It ran beautifully for a while but then developed a leak in the fuel line and it's not in the rubber part, it's in some steel portion of the system that is going to take a professional to fix and that's assuming the part can be found. It's an 85 Jetta so not easy to find.

He's working on it but it becomes a huge issue for me with our work schedules. They don't mesh at all. Very messy. He was frustrated today after trying to work on it and came in all hot and bothered. The next statement was "every check I get we have to use for everything else so there is no way to fix it." Yes, he's right. It takes every last penny both of us make to pay the bills and get groceries. We don't go out, I am wearing clothes that are nearly falling apart (so are he and Marc). I need a new jacket but don't want to spend the money so I just layer several thin jackets and hope for no hard freeze. It won't be forever, just until we can get through the cruise next year. After that, the money I've been throwing at that every month will be freed up and maybe we can catch up on some things. It's the last chance I have to do anything fun with and for Marc. It's nonrefundable anyway so it's not like I could cancel it.

I left a key phrase out of that last post. I didn't mean it to sound like I thought it would be the last time ever we would spend these things together, it's just the last time for quite a while. The Navy is not known for being the easiest to get leave and I won't have the funds to bring him home. I'm sure it sounds really melodramatic but I've seen what happens, especially with boys. They don't come home, they have their own lives and their family gets left behind. I'm happy he will have a future, don't get me wrong. I'm so proud of him. I'm just sad for the loss. I realize more and more every day how much I'm going to miss him.

As far as my family, no, I don't invite them over. They are all super busy with their lives and my house is definitely not conducive to company. There is barely room enough for just the few of us plus it's a total disaster area. Not quite hoarders quality mess, but not a bastion of cleanliness either. I'm slowly working on it.

You are definitely right. When Marc is gone, I don't know what I'm going to do. It will be just me and Gabe and that is going to be very difficult. No buffer. That is a very sobering thought.

[kat727]

It will force you to make a decision for sure.

Is Gabe any good with the computer? There are several jobs on flexjobs.com. Yes it is a service where you have to pay to join but it was only 32 for the year. I am being pretty picky but have a couple of leads. There has to be something more that Gabe can do to bring I more money. Working part time isn't going to cut it. He needs to man up Mish.

Kat

[mishka422]

He is actually working two jobs now. One part time and one full time. Its just not enough though to have any extra.

Computer?? Ummmm.......no. lol. Not his forte at all. I don't have any useful skills either though so I can't really complain.

[kat727]

How many batteries does a golf cart have? You can buy a used one for just about that amount! My hybrid battery in my car is about 700. The regular battery well that would probably be around the normal amount. Lol

There just has be some answer for your stuff that is coming up.

kat

[mishka422]

I agree, there has to be an answer but danged if I can find it!

The golf cart take 6 batteries. Each one is about $65 plus it needs a full set of cables which run about $125. They usually only need batteries about every 6 years and it hasn't had new batteries since I got it about 8 years ago so it's WAY overdue.

[mishka422]

Thanksgiving was very nice. I made an extreme effort to make sure that I was only doing what I wanted to do and not just going along for the ride to make someone else happy. That worked pretty well and kept me from feeling like a third wheel like I usually do on these family outings. YEAH ME! I can be taught!

Christmas is WAY too close to Thanksgiving this year but thankfully I'm not too stressed about it. We already decided that there will be no Christmas presents in our house. Just together time and that is really what is best.

My big family Christmas eve get together is another story but we did decide to change it up a little this year. We are going to draw names instead of buying or making gifts for each family or individuals. I usually bake or make candy for each family unit so just getting one gift from each of us to one individual will be a welcome change and a time saver for sure.

Everything else is just meandering along but that is ok too. I'm not in the mood to be making any big changes right now.