Me 1 year on

[hotwheelsaust]

I will post the reply to the W up her, but it will probably be pretty close to what I wrote above.

While I might be feeling this way.....at times. It was meant to say "i will post the reply to the W up here".

[TryingToDo180]

I think that's a good enough reply I can sorta understand where you are now, n/c is hard. I suppose though after a bit you do get used to it.
Sorry about the email from your W also
Glad you've got a DB coach I wish I could afford one, but being in the UK it'll probably cost me twice as much!
At least you've got enough GALing to keep you busy with the upcoming move. I take it you've started packing

[JuneReN]

Hey, HW, my advice on why the email? Simply because a solicitor's letter alone is rather abrupt. I think she is extending you a courtesy, small and as unwanted as it is.

The tough part will be, I think, to remain civil through the process, but I know you've developed the skills to do so. Again, congrats on the transfer, a chance to truly travel YOUR path.

Your reply looks fine. Have a great time at the party

[BrightFuture]

HWA, it is great that you had the BD session after that e-mail. Your coach is right, you have a lot to look forward to, your transfer, your house, time with your sons and friends. I know how hard it is in a NC sitch. I didn’t have contact with H for more than one month at a time last winter and spring. Then he was contacting me about the business only. Recently it looks like he started to have more communication with me, big then delivered a big blow (knowingly or not, IDK.)

I agree with others that your reply looks good, short and to the point.

[BrightFuture]

I meant to say DB session, sigh...

[hotwheelsaust]

Thanks TTD180 and Ruby.
I do agree the W showed some courtesy with sending an email first. I also wonder if she is also waiting for what my reply could be?
I do think the W has no idea what she really wants to do. I think she is very mixed up, but is listening too much to what others think or want. I believe the W simply thinks that ending the M is going to solve all the problems. Yes it is mindreading, but the mindreading is feeling very strong today. I feel that is why the communication has been very little and combined with no face to face meetings. It is simply easier to deal with the issues, or to make everything easier when you can ignore it all. In addition I believe she wants to get the assets over and done with so she can have the divorce papers issued early December.
Nothing I can do about either of these.
I will be very civil, not need not to be, during this difficult time. I feel my reply should be something like this:

"W, I accept your offer, I am sorry it has come to this. hotwheels".

"W, I accept your request of how the assets are to be handled. I am truly sorry you felt this was the only option. Hotwheels".

"W, I am sorry you feel this is the only way to be happy. I care about you being happy, therefore I will agree to your offer. Hotwheels".

I won't send the reply for another day or two, but please let me know which one sounds better, or could be changed to sound better.

TTD180, I don't have to pack, the removalists come and do all the packing except personal clothing etc.
Ruby, thanks I will have a great time at the party. Cake has been organised and will be a nice surprise for everyone.

[hotwheelsaust]

Thanks BrightFuture, your reply came while I was typing. I am glad I am not the only one who gets their words mixed up. BD and DB. :-)

[GALbaby]

Hi HWA. Have been reading along all this time. Am feeling uch sadness at this time, but glad that you now can let this go while leaving the door open and feel freer(?) to move ahead with your life knowing you have done the work.

I think I like your original reply most. I like the Coach's messages to you. It is offering support, at the same time not giving you unrealistic expectations. I remember one session I had with coach, she almost completely focussed on me, my difficulties, my feelings and my GAL. It was good for a change not to focus on H's problems.

Have a great time looking forward to the rest of your life.

[JuneReN]

^^Me too.

She knows how you feel and less is more. It is by far the most poignant of the bunch

[hotwheelsaust]

Thanks ladies.
I will leave the option open for 1 more day and then send the message.