Thank you for info about AD's, I really needed that. knowing that you went with it and now you are off the ADs with no side effects is good to know.
Sometimes I cry so much, and I feel like there are no more tears coming out. Until it starts again. I wish I had a crystal ball to see what will come next, so that I can prepare myself. Because this is so much.
This site helps me a lot
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
Another shocker this morning, they keep coming....H did not have is ring on today. I was not expecting this at all. I did not mentn it or anything but after dropping off the girls this morning. I cried, and cried and cried.
How come it is so easy for them the WAS to let go like this. This is really hard.
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
Seems we are in the same spot at the moment. It's easy for them because they think it's right for how they feel right now. There is hurt they feel and in their alien mind are trying to make it work, justify if you will.
I found my h's ring and wear it on my thumb. Might be wrong, but it serves as a reminder for me to keep on truckin' and why I must endure.
I know it's difficult, but ignore this, act like you haven't noticed. Fake it for now.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I feel for you formyfamily... I can remember being right where you are now. The pain was eminence.
Within a few day of my wife telling me she was done, She changed her FB status to single, stopped wearing her ring, called a realtor to begin the sale of the house, she is taking the boys with her, told me we may be friends later in life but not in the near future, and left open a email to a coworker indicating she was having a EA. All this 3 weeks before Christmas!
Exercise helped me a bunch for my mental health. It still is my saving grace.. that and the wonderful support from the people on this site.
You will find incredible strength you never knew you had along this journey. Its a wild roller coaster ride and it will get better.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Seems we are in the same spot at the moment. It's easy for them because they think it's right for how they feel right now. There is hurt they feel and in their alien mind are trying to make it work, justify if you will.
I found my h's ring and wear it on my thumb. Might be wrong, but it serves as a reminder for me to keep on truckin' and why I must endure.
I know it's difficult, but ignore this, act like you haven't noticed. Fake it for now.
Hi PM, you are right, it is such an alien world, they just think about themselves and what is better for them. How do you justify going to 4 sessions: enough work...
I actually looked for the ring (was curious) but no where to be found. I will ignore and fake it like I have not seen the disappearance.
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
I feel for you formyfamily... I can remember being right where you are now. The pain was eminence.
Within a few day of my wife telling me she was done, She changed her FB status to single, stopped wearing her ring, called a realtor to begin the sale of the house, she is taking the boys with her, told me we may be friends later in life but not in the near future, and left open a email to a coworker indicating she was having a EA. All this 3 weeks before Christmas!
Exercise helped me a bunch for my mental health. It still is my saving grace.. that and the wonderful support from the people on this site.
You will find incredible strength you never knew you had along this journey. Its a wild roller coaster ride and it will get better.
Hi Maritimer,
Sorry for all that you have been through in such a small period of time. I cannot imagine how you must have felt. this week is crazy (I told you, I don't love you, I am looking for an apartment, next morning no ring, today got an email and he wants to talk tonight - will post the e-mail) This is crazy
I agree that this site is helping me a lot, and thank you for your support
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
So last night, as soon as H came through the door, I left telling him I had errands to take care of... I had to get out and breath a little cause this is so hard, because things are starting to happen a little too fast for me, and I am not sure if I am going to be able to handle it. so I looked in my e-mail and this is what was sent to me (my thoughts in brackets):
***It has taken me so long to speak with you from my heart because it breaks mine to tell you how I feel. I never thought that we would have this day and when I said "I do"; I saw us getting old together. I try and use some of theories or thoughts of our therapists when trying to figure out what happened or why I feel that I do but in the end, I think they are all full of bullshit. (I hardly think that 4 sessions is trying, one session with the first, and 3 with the next)
The truth is that everyday I blame myself for not getting us to speak more and to get out what we each need to love each other. I know I have failed you in many respects when it comes to this. But as the days and months went by, and the silence continued, I went from sad that you did not want to love me, to touch me, or to talk to me, to mad that you thought the way I was living did not consider our family or our children(he always leave one month in the spring and one in the fall and lots of weekends during the year- true my coping mechanism was not the best, but I felt alone- he feels that I should only miss him and be happy when he comes back - I did not feel a part of his second career- and its not because I do not love him). I felt so stupid for years that you hated what I did or did not enjoy being around me and my passions. Anyways, now I just am sad that I could not get back to you with love. I really tried although maybe you would never believe me. My admiration about how beautiful and incredible for you has never faltered. I guess I just felt we went in different directions and we got off on different bus stops.
I know that most people do not go through all of things that we have gone through over the years. I know that most people have not "kept it together" when faced with all of our challenges and I am proud that we helped each other through all those things. I will always have love for you for how you helped my family through the difficult times and of course for delivering and raising two incredible little girls. I always hope that after all of our hurt and anger, we will be able to come together when it comes to taking care of our kids.
I think you know that I have done so much soul searching (soul searching by himself- i was not included )the last 9 months to know that I am not making a huge mistake for letting you go. Maybe I will look back at this email one day and wonder what I did. But I have to live in the present and know that it is time for me to go. My soul knows it is time for truth; even truth that hurts and it tells me that it is time to leave you. ****
(i feel like i need to respond before our talk tonight)- oh and he send me information on how to talk to the girls...
I really need some advice before the talk tonight. He will most likely have the convo with the girls this weekend..
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
So tonight, when he wanted to talk more about what to tell the girls /apartment/separation...I told him that I refuse to talk about all of it unless he takes time out of his busy schedule and talk during the day instead and out of the house. H agreed. The things is : I still don't know why we are where we are... Like what happened.. Why did he decide to do a soul searching...ect...
Cause oi know that if the talk happens with the girls, they will be marked for life.
Pleas also see previous post and let me know what you think...
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
Thank you for replying. I guess what i say will not get to him. Ok so I will not beg, plead or cry anymore especially during the talk tomorrow.
This is so crazy, it's a nightmare. It's takes me a long time to fall asleep and very time I wake up, I cannot believe that this is happening.
I need to read some success db, cause I am really down right now.
Me 37 H 37 D9 D6 M9/ T12 ILYBINILWY 05/2013 Asked to S 06/13 Said he wants to S for sure 08/13 Said that he's looking for a place (Sept 17/13) No ring on his finger (Sept 19/13)
