And yes, T2, a slow return is so much better. I have seen, too many times, when an MLCer has returned way too soon.
The jump back into the tunnel is deeper and stronger.
This all took a long time to come to fruition. So, it is best that they are able to work and continue through each part, until it is all fully resolved.
Looking for some small ways to make more connections with him.
One thing I've started doing with some success is to ask my W to do little things for me. "Can you pick up *some item* for me the next time you stop at the grocery store on your lunch?"
Would you please bring me a glass of water on your way back.
Could you make the breakfast shakes for us tonight?
It allows them to feel like a helpful member of "The Team", and makes us feel loved when they do it for us... Win Win!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Makes me wonder. My W has asked if I want her to bring me anything from the store, but I put it off, thinking it would just reminder her of the times she was grocery shopping for us and I wasn't helping. Anyway, I'll let her get a few things if she offers again. Won't see her until she comes to get the cat sometime next week maybe.
Just wanted you to know I think of you every day, my friend. Hoping things are going well and that you are finding some small ways to connect with your H.
rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
thinking about you and your sitch TVS. I hope your H has stopped texting that skanky FT so much. Is his back still itchy and are you still slathering him with lotion? I wish my H would let me touch him, even if it was putting on lotion. I know WHERE I'd like to put lotion, but he won't let me touch that either
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Still on my self-imposed hiatus here, but wanted to check in.
Even though I haven't been posting, I still stop by here and there to see how everyone is doing.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching, and it has been very good.
I feel like I've come to an integral part of my journey. I felt it was time to step away from here for awhile as it had become a crutch for me instead of support.
But I feel I'm strong enough now to let go of this crutch - to many crutches in my life.
After almost 19 months, I am sensing a shift. In me, in H, in our situation.
But I have absolutely no idea what it means yet.
I've been changing things up around here, doing some 180's, becoming a little more bold with some things. Of course being careful not to go overboard or spook H...
So far, I have been pleased with results. I'm going to keep monitoring and adjusting.
There of course is some bad to go with the good. I've had some tears, felt sadness, frustration, and anger. Keep picking myself up and dusting myself off.
I absolutely positively could NOT have made it this far without the help and support of some very special and amazing people here. I am beyond blessed to be so lucky to have been brought here, to have "met" so many wonderful people.
My journey continues on.
I will be leaving for the beach in a few days with my dear sister. I will try to post more of a specific update after that.
Until then, onward and upward my friends
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I understand needing a break from this forum. But, know that we will be here if/when you want to come back.
Have a great trip... wish I could get to the beach.
UP, UP, UP... can only go up from here... (Shania Twain)
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
