Thanks for the book recommendations, Wonka. I'll work them into the to-read pile ASAP.
Anotherstander, I'd just as soon not take you up on that diet. I already went through the BD diet this year and I don't know if my system can take too many diets like that.
Journaling:
Dreamed about my wife last night. We were together, but she was planning on leaving. My behavior in the dream was not DB-approved-- lots of wheedling, convincing, and other unbecoming behavior.
This afternoon will make one week since I've last heard from her (but who's counting right?)
My standing therapy appointment for today got cancelled, my therapist isn't feeling well. Hope he is okay, he's an older gentleman.
Went on a good hour-long bike ride last night out in the countryside. Not sure what's on the agenda for this weekend, a friend might be in town, I'll catch Elysium, go to church, work on the non-profit, and I'm not sure what else.
I hate the dreams! My mood for the day is sometimes set by a dream I had the night before. I had a great one the other day, but it wasn't about W, if you know what I mean... ;-)
Honestly, it wasn't *that* kind of dream, either. But it was a reminder of what it felt like to be cared for or about.
Anotherstander, I'd just as soon not take you up on that diet. I already went through the BD diet this year and I don't know if my system can take too many diets like that.
LOL! I hear you brother, I lost 30 pounds on that one, and I'm not a very big guy to start with
My therapist had to cancel last night, so I went and visited one of my friends from the lodge. He was of great help to me in the days after the BD, so I was hoping for the same this time. I filled him in on what had transpired since we last talked in February and he was pretty negative, advising me not to reconcile, saying that it would just happen again, that I should just put her behind me, etc.
It took a lot of fortitude to realize that he was not necessarily right and he was just doing what MWD warned us about (the friends and relatives who just want us to move on so we can be happy).
I thanked him for his time and continued about my evening. I'm not going to let his negativity get me down. MWD tells us to beware the self-fufilling prophecy, so I am going to continue to work on myself and believe that my W and I will reconcile in the future.
It's a beautiful, beautiful day here on the Left Coast. Unseasonably temperate for August. I'm sitting on the patio of a Starbucks drinking an iced coffee, working on some stuff for the non-profit. My only complaint was the Grateful Dead that was on the overhead stereo a few minutes ago. I hope all you wonderful people have a beautiful day. Dammit, you deserve it!
I have the same problems when i talk to my friends about my sitch. They offer advice about moving on and ask why we would want to go back to a WAW as badly as we do. For me anyway, it all boils down to the fact that we still love our wives and to hear the negativity is kind of like someone insulting our decisions and choices up to this point.
Fact of the matter is, we will continue to fight and try and reconcile until it is time to move on completely. We don't know when that time will come, or what the future holds, but for now, it almost helps us get through the day with that little bit of hope to hold onto.
Take care.
Me: 41 W: 36 M:9 yrs Together: 12 yrs Kids S7 S4 BD: 01/13 W filed 5/13 D final 8/13
Its all so easy to give up. Scorched earth is the way to go!!!!!! I see them all and they are women haters, financially nuked, and nasty.
We will get REAL closure on our time. Either the closure of our R's or our closure of this horrible, nasty part of our lives.
Women start looking at you yet?????? I know I can attract any 60 year old drunk at a bar (When im picking up take-out)
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I honestly don't know. I don't do the bar thing and even when I was single, I was pretty oblivious to that sort of thing. I remember an ex-gf playfully smacking me and saying, "She was checking you out!" I was like, "She was?"
Definitely not in any hurry to start dating, especially before my D.
Had a great day today working at the non-profit. We're working on a plan to get funding and I'm really able to put my college education to work.
Gonna hit the coffeeshop patio again tomorrow. (Maybe. Forecast calls for isolated thunderstorms, so I might be inside. I guess I jinxed myself bragging about the weather earlier today!)
I haven't heard from the W in a week and a half and she is supposed to be having her procedure in the middle of the month. Anybody have thoughts on me texting her to see how she is doing?
