Blindsided

[chl0901]

Well, I noticed that H withdrew a large amount of money from our account, so I text him and asked if he had put more money into a stock he's invested in. He wrote me back about an hour later and said, "Yeah, like a week ago. Thank you for ruining my golf game asking about $$. Much appreciated." I wrote him back saying I was just wondering and I'm not mad or anything and he wrote because I text him. It's so frustrating to try to be nice to him when he is so blatantly rude to me. Need to breathe!

[chasingpavements]

That is frustrating, I am finding the same thing sometimes. My H will say little nit-picky things to me and I feel like I am going to lose it! I try not to get bothered by it too much and just let it slide, but it sure is difficult some times!

[JuneReN]

So, chl, has this been an issue before? You texting him and him being rude because
"you texted?"

Don't text. Obviously his response had nothing to do with the fact you texted, but that is mind reading, so let it go. If you feel this has been an issue and want to address it, you can simply say that his response was rude and uncalled for. If he would not like to be texted at certain times, just give you a heads up and you would be happy to comply.

This is iffy though, because there can be no hint of "geez you were an a$$hole in your voice"

But if this is a boundary for you, make it so

[chasingpavements]

To me it seems like he felt like he was put on the spot by you asking him about the money, he may have felt you were accusing him. Of course, how he responded was inappropriate! I find it difficult talking to my H about any money matters, it is a sensitive subject for us. I wish we were able to sit down and have a normal conversation about money, but for some reason that is hard for us.

[chl0901]

Thanks, Ruby and chasing, for the feedback. I let it go and when I saw him a couple of hours later he had gotten over it. He even brought me his score card to show me "where I messed him up" (in a joking way though). I believe he responded the way he did in the text is because it was about money, and he may have felt that I was texting him in an accusatory manner (which I wasn't, but of course you can't tell tone in a text message). The texts he sent back to me were rude wording though is why I was so frustrated. I was able to run and grab a quick drink after work with a girlfriend which helped me to cool off and let it go.

Next time I will just have to ask H in person if I have a money question or concern and make sure to use the right tone!

[chasingpavements]

He even brought me his score card to show me "where I messed him up" (in a joking way though).

Ha, that's exactly what my H would've done too .. good that you are both able to laugh about it afterwards! It's good to be able to recognize our mistakes and laugh about it later!

[chl0901]

Happy Monday, everyone! I finally finished reading DB (and didn't get caught by anyone!). I'm going to go ahead and re-list my 180s and GALs because my lists have grown a little bit since I finished the book.

GALs:
- Working out alone and also with friends
- Meeting friends for lunch more often
- Participating in more things like local 5ks (even with my slow times!)
- Plan a girls' night soon with a couple of friends (dinner/drinks or something) and try and do that maybe once a month

180s:
- Stop nagging
- Show more interest in his interests and hobbies
- Stop playing on my phone (FB, games, Pinterest, etc.) at night in bed when we are watching TV
- Work on improving my appearance (since H said he is no longer physically attracted to me during BD)
- Do not initiate TM or phone calls except for business
- Stop interrupting (bad habit of mine)
- Be even more optimistic and friendly
- Initiate intimacy more often (not necessarily right now, but when/if things start to improve)


We had a pretty nice weekend. Went to dinner with part of my family on Sat. night and Sunday went swimming and to eat at my IL's which was fun. The only part I messed up was interrupting H in the middle of a story he was telling yesterday and he said something like, "I can't even finish a d@mn sentence!" and I cringed because that's something I've been trying to work on lately (I have a bad habit of interrupting people to talk - I've always had this problem; it's like the words just pop out of my mouth!). Overall, the day was nice though.

I also did cheat and step on the scale today (I know it won't be completely accurate since I've been doing some weight training the past few weeks)and I'm down to 165. I was 191 this past Oct. and yo-yo'd with 15 lbs until BD so I am making progress even if it's slowly. I'm hoping to lose about 30 more lbs total, but I do feel good about actually getting this done.

[Mimi00]

Congrats on finishing the book and coming up with new 180's & GAL's. Glad you had a good weekend with your family.

I've been working on losing 30lbs, I am almost there, but my goal weight at 30 years old, doesn't look like it did when I was 20 years old, so I may lose an extra 10lbs lol.

Hope this week brings you more positives!

[chl0901]

Thanks, Mimi! 30 lbs is great! And I know what you mean about bodies looking different from 10 years ago, haha!

[chl0901]

H came home in a bad mood last night (not because of me for once). I just let him simmer and he seemed to get over it after awhile. He ended up reaching over and cuddling with me which is really out of character for him. I mean, we haven't cuddled that didn't lead to ML in probably 7 years! We probably laid like that for an hour, which was nice. Don't really know what to make of that so I guess just think "whatever!" and go with it.

I was able to put on some cute colored jeans today that actually fit without me looking like a busted can of biscuits (like they made me look a few months ago when I ordered them!). My (female) co-worker friend told me my butt looked really good today - I love a good compliment!