LBH on the Left Coast III: Return of the Lefty

[LBH_LC]

Yes, I do try to keep my L on a short leash.

MrBond, Sandi2: I sure would like your input on the the new developments on my sitch.

[MrBond]

Then don't respond. Your L told you not to, then don't. Did he tell you what you could respond to? The TRO is a big thing.

[LBH_LC]

I've accepted that now, but any thoughts on what (if anything) to say at the meeting in light of the message?

[MrBond]

Consult with you L about what you can say. You don't want to jeopardize your future by saying something wrong.

[LBH_LC]

Is there anything you would recommend saying assuming my L approves it?

My L has my financial best interests at heart, but he doesn't give a damn about my hopes to eventually R.

[MrBond]

"I talk both D6 and D12 about how hurtful moms relationship with OM is and how inappropriate it is for mom to have done that."

First of all, you don't know that. He's doing the job that YOU hired him for. He is looking out for your best interest so I would watch the insults to your own legal counsel. Plus you don't know if maybe he went through a D as well which, as you know, is very brutal.

PLUS he's probably telling you not to say anything so that you incriminate yourself in any way. TAke his lead and talk to him. You don't want your W to take anything you say and twist it around. ESPECIALLY if you start assuming guilt for things.

[LBH_LC]

I'm really confused by your reply. I have no idea who you are quoting, but it's not me. My W and I do not have children.

My L has told my in no uncertain terms that his primary concern is my financial well being in this matter. I don't believe I said anything insulting about him. Are you referring to the pitbull and leash remark? It was not meant as an insult and I doubt he would take offense given the conversations we have had.

Why are you attacking me?

Yes, I can believe my L doesn't want me to say anything that could be twisted to my disadvantage. So I guess I will give my STBX "more of the same" by not responding in anyway to her first attempt at communication in six months. Makes sense.

[MrBond]

Sorry, the wrong quote posted. It was supposed to be..."but he doesn't give a damn about my hopes to eventually R"

That wasn't an attack. It was meant to show you that you can't let these little bits of anger be misdirected. In this case it's towards your L. YOu said you wanted closure and to apologize, etc. From his POV, I can see how your W can use that to say it was all your fault (especially with the TRO) and take everything from you.

I've seen it far too many times on here.

[LBH_LC]

Thank you for the advice about misdirecting my anger. To be honest, I am a little frustrated with my L because he has said he doesn't understand my desire to R and I worry he is being unnecessarily combative.

So you think there is nothing that is even worth running by my lawyer for approval before saying? Not even something "I regret our marriage is at this point, but if this is what you need, I understand?"

[PatientMan]

I'm really confused by your reply. I have no idea who you are quoting, but it's not me. My W and I do not have children.

My L has told my in no uncertain terms that his primary concern is my financial well being in this matter. I don't believe I said anything insulting about him. Are you referring to the pitbull and leash remark? It was not meant as an insult and I doubt he would take offense given the conversations we have had.

Why are you attacking me?

Yes, I can believe my L doesn't want me to say anything that could be twisted to my disadvantage. So I guess I will give my STBX "more of the same" by not responding in anyway to her first attempt at communication in six months. Makes sense.

Your rationalization hamster is sprinting here.

FWIW, I didn't read Mr. Bond's comment as an attack in any way.

-PM