She called me in the morning and asked about our doctor's working time. She is ill and needs prescription. Later in the morning she called again. She asked me to bring some papers from the doctor to her. So I will see her this evening. Apparently she aims having very good relationship with me.
I am here just to wish you Happy new year and tell you not to lose hope.
I spent Christmas and celebrated the New year with my daughter, my ex wife and her family at their house in the mountain. I spent most of the time with them. We are together almost every day.
I believe this is the way to her heart. I am speaking her languages and she responds correctly.
The good: She wants to plan a ski vacation with me. She often invites me to join them for cinema and other activities.
The bad: There is no sex drive in both of us. We are acting just like good friends.
As soon as something interesting has happened I will write here and let you know.
Ex: We are divorced but we act like a family. We shouldn't confuse our daughter that the marriage is just understanding. I cannot love you again. In my wish to have a family I spend a lot of time with you. But it prevents us to start a new life.
I agreed, I didn't know what to say.
Me: I thought three of us were pleased to be together.
She: Yes, it is like narcotic. I want more and more, but it is not real. You should not come so often. I think that we have to spend our winter vacation separately. I will have your time with her and I will have mine.
So she cancelled my reservation and is going on a holiday with our daughter, my ex's brother and his family.
She completely changed her attitude towards me. She again became distant and cold.
I know that I didn't do my best. I stopped praying during our reconciling. Apparently I am not designed to have a family.
My faith is not strong enough and I am extremely selfish.
Please, God, forgive me. Why did you allow my existence?
Seriously? You think all this is because God is punishing you? You're actually saying that you were selfish to not get D'd? Get real.
It's called life. There are good points and bad ones. The problem is that you've allowed your W's attitude to affect your self-esteem. It's according to HER will that you're miserable NOT HIS.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I didn't say that you blame her for it. I said that you're letting her affect you. You are allowing it. YOU are Allowing the misery in your life.
You also have the choice to not be miserable. There are a ton of people who have coped with more. Those with cancer, medical conditions, poverty, death. You have much to be grateful for. Start looking at the positives rather than the negatives in life. Go volunteer at a Children's Cancer ward. Even in the midst of pain and fear, there's hope and happiness.
Despair takes those who allow themselves to be taken.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
3 months passed since her final decision. Today we celebrated our daughter's 10th birthday. We are in very good relationship.
My ex bought a new SUV and gave me her 5 year old SUV. She began to renew her home and gave me her old furniture. The total value of her gifts is approximately 14000$. Apparently she wants to help me and wants my well-being.
She was very nice during our calls or encounters. But last few days she acted pretty aggressively, her tone was harsh. She stopped calling me without reason.
I couldn't sleep well this night. I cannot stop thinking about my ex and our family, about my selfishness, about my sins. I know I should not interfere in her life. I do not have money, neither I am successful. I do not have place beside. Despite all I again began praying for us.
I wonder why she is still alone? How would I react if I see her with another man. I guess I would cry.
