Well it is over. I feel so used. I thing I worked for every we did together she crushed. I asked for an annulment I could see the she was taken back by it. I hope she is home crying. The bitch. ( venting)
It's OK to vent, but please don't take your frustration and anger out on her.
If you want an annulment, that's one thing. It would be up to the priest to decide whether it is OK. I'll likely seek same eventually, once D final. Although my W never converted so I'm not sure how that will work.
Anyhow, the point is, I suspect that you wanted to poke her by telling her (so quickly) that you want an annulment.
You've only just did mediation and I'm guessing it's not over already, unless the two of you have signed. Even so, the D papers still need to be completed, filed, etc.
So just cool your jets and take some time to take care of your own needs and pain and get your feet back under you.
Get back to your GAL and 180s and keep working on your detachment.
. Well send her a message Odd to hear you left job, you told me during one of the few sessions we had together that you loved it there that you were "happy, there. Then to return to the old company you were livid about when you worked for them before, so much so you returned to college to get away. Guess if you keep searching maybe you will find it, rather then be "happy" with who you are and what you have. So thats a new job about every two years. YOU KNOW ALL I EVERY WANTED TO DO WAS LOVE YOU and you to love me and that could have been anywhere. Yes I shuttered at your touch, or when I touched you but that was out of amazement.
So I got a message from her posted below. I am sorry this has been so hard on you. It has been hard on me, too. Some of us are searchers and that is part of our life journey... It doesn't make the time you and I shared not valuable. The company a worked for changed and I need a job. That's life.
Yes I know my message was not a good move. But the response That's life Is just terrible.
. Well send her a message Odd to hear you left job, you told me during one of the few sessions we had together that you loved it there that you were "happy, there. Then to return to the old company you were livid about when you worked for them before, so much so you returned to college to get away. Guess if you keep searching maybe you will find it, rather then be "happy" with who you are and what you have. So thats a new job about every two years. YOU KNOW ALL I EVERY WANTED TO DO WAS LOVE YOU and you to love me and that could have been anywhere. Yes I shuttered at your touch, or when I touched you but that was out of amazement.
So I got a message from her posted below. I am sorry this has been so hard on you. It has been hard on me, too. Some of us are searchers and that is part of our life journey... It doesn't make the time you and I shared not valuable. The company a worked for changed and I need a job. That's life.
Yes I know my message was not a good move. But the response That's life Is just terrible. I responsed, I know it is somewhat lecturing; I understand it is hard for you too but I am hard pressed to just call it life. Life is what you make it, life is finding joy in the loves one around you. Yes there will be suffering and discomfort but working through them together is how a real loving relationship will grow and flourish making both people even better people for each other and themselves.
While the conversation is civil, which is good, there are a couple things to note in the texts.
First, she is letting you know that things aren't going well for her. You might be upset that she used the phrase "that's life", just try to understand that she is possibly dealing with some depression and that's the best she could come up with without having to express to you how she is having difficulty dealing with her problems.
Second, you are trying to teach her a lesson. If she is to learn the lesson you are trying to teach her, she won't want you for her teacher. It's just the way it is with MLC/WAS.
The student will not learn until they are ready AND they will learn from the teacher of their choosing.
As an extra, again you are trying to tell her you hurt. She probably gets that. She's having enough trouble dealing with her own pain yet you want to make her feel worse by dumping yours on her?
Again, detach and get back to GAL because you are only hurting yourself by dwelling on your suffering. Get your mind off this for a while to the best of your ability. Often, exercise is a great way to do this, plus exercise dumps "feel good" chemicals like endorphins into your system which could do you wonders.
Detaching..... I still feel as though I want to ask her if she really wants this. I have not done anything the mediator asked me to do to move the divorce forward. Why so I rush. Right?
I guess I am a upset, because when I said the date I would agree to would be the date she left because she never meant to come back. And she agree to that very quickly. Then why did she drag thos on for so long.
Because she's really confused. And she just does not want to deal with the M and its breakdown. So she'll avoid anything about it as much as possible. It's likely the only reason she agreed to the date was because otherwise, she'd have to think about the M... and in her confused mind, she may not even remember that clear enough.
