Hi Fartiltre, The way I ran in to these posts is that I started in Sandi2's piecing..then I connected to Mr. Bond's thread, about pg (early page 2 or 3?) robx started posting (click on his name and view posts/thread he started. Then approx pg 37 still Mr. Bond's thread, gucci started posting....click on his name and you'll see his different postings.
All in all I have these windows open in my iphone. I hope that helps. Let me know if you have other questions. I'm sure there are other shortcuts to those thread, but right now thats how I ended up to it. Good luck to you Fartiltre
Btw Mr. Bond, I saw a lot of your similarities with my sitch specially being stuck. I have to ask, and I think you were a success of getting your W back. Can you confirm, Did you guys reconcile? What worked?
Best, Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
Long weekend coming to an end. It was good to get some rest, back to work tomorrow tons of work for me I'm sure I'm gonna look beat up again by end of the week lol
Well Saturday we had family gathering (d18 & s14 graduation party) I had to put the fake face "happy family" thingy for my W's family that don't know the sitch. I just put my sitch aside and had a great time with BILs!
My W also faked it by putting on a regular ring on her wedding ring finger...I was thinking to myself if you're gonna fake it might as well use the real ring and remove it when people leaves oh well her choice.
She continued to give me some nuggets, calling me "babe" at one point. And yesterday she gave me that flirty look. I didn't bite but I noticed it.
Today she took her aunt and cousins out, pretty much all day. She took s3 with her. S14 hung out with me and d18 out with her friends. So today I'm tired of this sitch...actually in the last 2weeks I've been stfu of the talk about separation. Just waiting for the kids to finish school which is this week. And I think I will ask her with that talk.
So with her going, where she could've spend time with the kids... Am I selfish to ask her to put our family first ? Rather than her family? Sometimes I feel during the M, we had to adjust because her family is doing something and my plan gets pushed aside...and what trips me is that now she complains that i never made an attempt for us?! Just venting...this is definitely has to be brought up if there's a R.
In her defense she did invited me to come but I didn't feel like going...not being vindictive but I just didnt feel like it, I wanted to enjoy my extra day off since I know I will be busy for the next two months.
I also now think that no matter what good I do is that she will weed out the negative just to paint a picture of me as bad H. I'm not perfect so I will have some negative stuff that she will make a big deal out of. And if she cant find an obvious one she will use FB, i noticed she only posts pics with her and the kids none of me with them, but if you look at her phone and mine there are tons with me and the kids. I don't have FB and thought about opening an acct but that will seem like I'm competing with her...I know what I do and the kids knows and that's what matters. But it just irritates me that she's doing this.
But now I don't feel like walking on eggshells because none of what I do will make it or break this. This is why I wanna remove myself from her life so that she can't put the blame on me anymore.
Well jeez this long sorry guys thanks for reading.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
And back to reading Mr Bond's sitch, robx, and gucci...isn't puppy starsky? Very good reads talk about vets in action! Oh and of course sandi2 and 25 included.
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
It has come to my attention that some people on this message board are strongly suggesting advice that runs counter to my Divorce Busting philosophy and practice- the notion of exposing a spouse's affair to family members. While this plan may be helpful to one couple, it would completely backfire in other marriages. I have worked with many couples where the betrayed spouse revealed all the information to friends and family with extremely detrimental outcomes. First, when the unfaithful spouse discovered this had happened, he or she decided to file for divorce and it became a final decision. Secondly, there are those situations where the couple began to heal from the infidelity and get their marriage back on track, but the family members undermined the couples' efforts and even "disowned" the betrayed spouse. This made life-long commitments after infidelity a very challenging outcome because few people like giving up their family and friends. So, while I do believe that betrayed spouses need support from loved ones when dealing with such a distressing situation, it is ESSENTIAL that the information about the affair be shared CAREFULLY and with full recognition about the possible risks. I always recommend that, if information is shared, the person with whom it is shared is marriage-friendly, even in the face of infidelity. Nonetheless, it's still important to recognize potential risks.
Additionally, several people have contacted my office feeling that they had been personally attacked for not following this sort of advice. This community was started many years ago and we rarely get such complaints. Confronting others by calling names or pressuring them will not be tolerated. These tactics are not reflective of the Divorce Busting spirit.
