It's always good to hear a dad getting 50/50 custody. I firmly believe that a 50/50 split is in the best interest for the kids if the parents are both engaged in their children's lives.
I'm scared to death that even with all my time spent with my kids and the things my W has done that a judge may dictate when I can see my kids. Sadly I know even if I got my best case scenario of 50/50 it won't be enough for me (or my kids)...
W and I haven't really talked except for one custody discussion since last Wed. I (finally after much urging) decided it was time for this to protect myself from getting hurt anymore. I won't lie, this is much more difficult then I thought it would be. I'm a pretty laid back, have fun and joke around type of person and being quiet and/or unavailable isn't my thing. W has tried to have small talk every day and seems to linger around where I am more than before. I'm polite and listen if she initiates small talk but I'm very short with responses and then leave the room at first opportunity. I SO want to engage in these talks because I do care about her and what's going on in her life. Problem is I want more then to just be friends and I've continually let myself get $ucked back in which inevitably leads to hurt that I won't allow any longer.
In our last custody discussion I proposed a 5-5-2 schedule and I'm now trying to live it. I'm scheduling my GAL stuff on days I wouldn't have kids and staying scarce on those nights until kids go to bed. This should give us each more space and give us a taste of (potentially) our new life. Of course this week she comes home Tuesday night (first Tuesday in 3-4 months she didn't go to group) and then last night comes to T-ball practice and watches entire thing (new also...)).
Overall I'm still doing good and really enjoying my GALing activities. I made a list of hobbies I would like to either try or start doing again so will be starting a few new things there as well. One new thing is I've always ran alone but running with marathon training group starting this Saturday morning.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
W and I plan on trying 50/50 custody with a running 3 day rotation. I hope that this isn't too hard on the kids. I just couldn't imagine going longer than that without seeing them.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Have you been documenting anything regarding your child care?
If not begin immediately and go back and backdate as far and as accurate as you can. How often you watch them, take them to school, pick them up, take them to extra curriculars, put them to be, etc...
From what I've heard and read most judges don't want to disrupt the kids lives as much as possible so if you have been their primary caretaker for half of the time or close to it, which it seems like you have, it would be out of the ordinary for your stbx to be granted full custody.
Yeah, I have a daily log of my time with the kids since last Christmas day. I also have a calendar showing nights I have them alone vs. when we share getting them dinner and to bed. I also have the normal school hours schedule showing who gets them to and from school. Before Christmas I have the general parenting time schedules going all the way back to my D's birth. 12 weeks after she was born my W went to work afternoon/ night shifts so I watched D 4 nights a week alone and continued this schedule until S was 1.5 years old. W then got sick and schedules changed because of that.
I've worked this out every which way I can and I see no (fair) reason she could get full custody.
Originally Posted By: Grizz
W and I plan on trying 50/50 custody with a running 3 day rotation. I hope that this isn't too hard on the kids.
That's similar to my original proposal. Someone pointed out to me that it might get confusing for kids on where they have to go and who is getting them to and from school since it would change weekly. They told me, and it makes sense, that the 5-5-2 is pretty constant for the school week (I get every M, T, W gets every W, TH, and we alternate F, S, S). Going those 5 days will be very difficult for me though, good thing I coach their teams...sorry parents, practices are now on W and TH's
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
That's similar to my original proposal. Someone pointed out to me that it might get confusing for kids on where they have to go and who is getting them to and from school since it would change weekly. They told me, and it makes sense, that the 5-5-2 is pretty constant for the school week (I get every M, T, W gets every W, TH, and we alternate F, S, S). Going those 5 days will be very difficult for me though, good thing I coach their teams...sorry parents, practices are now on W and TH's
I have a 5-2-2-5 schedule and it has been working fairly well for our kids. I had a lot of anxiety about not seeing them for 5 straight days but that has yet to be the case.
Its funny about the coaching because I coach as well and made my practice days on her nights so I could see them more.
I also volunteer at their school and they have games and other things on the weekend so I typically see them almost every day.
