I wrote this on someone else's post. The method is still the same when you're validating someone.
"How can I learn to not discount someone elses idea?"
Very simple. And BTW, this is how they teach you to talk to your spouse so they don't feel discounted.
When someone tells you their idea, don't speak. Just listen (validate). After they're done, repeat what they said (ex. "so you're saying that if we do X, then Y will happen, is that right?"). Thank them and leave them with a comment like..."that gives me alot to think about" or "that was a great idea, I'll have to see how it works into the current business, but it sound terrific." Or whatever.
And if you do implement an idea from someone else, go out of your way to tell them "thank you".
People just want to be sure they are heard. Women want to be respected as much as men do.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Can I call you an "overweight" sun of a gun now???
Hows that scale? How many cals are you consuming a day? Im at 1100-1400
Do you have your eyes on a specific road bike yet? Im assuming it wont be bike riding season for a while in your hood......can you hide $25 a week?
what you doing this weekend?
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Yup, just made the drop! Bought some new clothes this weekend to celebrate. I'm currently eating 1470 calories a day; that should result in a 2 pound weekly loss. I just got a kitchen scale and a calorie tracking app for my phone, so I can be certain I'm not eating too much.
It's been bike riding season here for a few months now. We had a dry winter. Now the summer heat and wildfires are starting.
My late father's birthday was over the weekend, so my sisters came over and we went out to Dad's grave. Other than that, not much except clothes shopping, workouts, and job hunting.
Getting nervous; should be hearing from my lawyer soon about settlement talks and our anniversary is coming up in about a month. Ah well, it's out of my hands.
Ive been track cals in the 1100-1300 range for the last 3 mths. Im JUST now starting to feel some body kickback. A bit lethargic, tired etc
If I may suggest- go out and get GNC Mega man Vitamins(if ive already suggested that should tell you something) take 2 a day.
drink water drink water....then more
the pounds arent moving off as fast as the inches are shrinking. I may be down to a 34 by june
Im stuck at 212 but my 36's are starting to be a bit loose
Honestly lefty your doing well with this- Two months ago if youd see where you are now....i dont think youd believe it.
Your in pretty good control of you. The rest is fate.
When was the last time your sisters saw you? Did they comment?
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
218.1 this morning! I never thought I'd be so happy to be overweight!
One of my sisters is very health conscious and she and her husband were very blown away and complementary. It felt really good! The other sister had to be prompted into commenting.
I've been drinking plenty of water; I have to, because I take creatine to help with muscle building/recovery. It adds a little bit of water weight, but you can really see and feel the difference. If you're lifting, I recommend it.
211.8 for me today.......we are just moving digits around.
As far as your W is concerned.....when was the last time she saw you? What was your weight then?
I wish I were you. If it wasnt for D3(If I got D papers) I would soooooooooooooo throw a few items in a backpack and take off. Ecuador appeals to me now- live cheap and ponder life.
perhaps learn the paddleboard
If you keep this work up you will find yourself with lots of options
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
211.8 for me today.......we are just moving digits around.
Ain't that the truth! Yesterday I was up about 1.5 lbs from the previous day, now I'm down again! As long as the general trend is down, I'm happy.
Quote:
As far as your W is concerned.....when was the last time she saw you? What was your weight then?
Mid March. I was probably around 235 then. I don't remember how much I weighed when we first met all those years ago, but I'm 99% sure I was heavier then than I am now.
Quote:
I wish I were you. If it wasnt for D3(If I got D papers) I would soooooooooooooo throw a few items in a backpack and take off. Ecuador appeals to me now- live cheap and ponder life.
Maybe if I were a younger man!
Quote:
If you keep this work up you will find yourself with lots of options
Positivespin....I hear you brother! Fortunately for me, my kids are adults now, with only my step son from W's first M at home. Dont get me wrong, I raised and loved this kid since I met him at 6 months old...but in the end, if she gets her way I am out of the picture anyway.
ANYWAY...I am taking off if she does indeed file for D. I am thinking the Florida Keys and will beach bum and work for air as a Divemaster for dive shops.
I gave my W everything, and kept nothing for myself. Its time I start living for me.
As a side not...I posted a thread 4 days ago, and I still dont see it, nor any of my posts on other threads....how long does this moderation last? I really would like to post my sitch so I can get feedback. Being patient...but over 72 hrs to approve a post is a little nuts.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Now the summer heat and wildfires are starting.