W was very reflective this evening. She is going to house sit that friend's house and try to decide what she is going to do.
I told her again that it's totally up her.. I was done fighting. I also told her that the co-habitation after D idea was unacceptable, for the kids reasons and my own.
I think she is really torn, but she did seem pretty clear...no mlc or replay face. She was concerned about me trashing her to the kids, I just said that she "has to go off of what she knows of me, and she knows me better than anyone else, and that I can't guarantee anything...that maybe this would tip me over into my own mlc, and I would become the complete opposite of the person you know...who knows?"! She actually smiled at that.
I was thinking of sending her this via email:
"While you are thinking about what you are going to do, please do know that there is very, very little I couldn’t/wouldn't forgive if you choose to stay, and try reconciling. I understand the drive behind this journey.
Unless it was murder, torturing kittens, or something like that...naturally, those could be problematic… "
Or should I just let it be?
Thoughts and opinions welcome
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Looks like I am taking a page from rH's sitch, give them the divorce and let them really see that you are letting them decide.
Speaking of which, W did say about the co-habitation scheme after D..."it would be almost the same, just D", just like rH's H...where do these scripts and ideas come from??
Yes, there is humor in this...lol!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Oh, that didn't sound right...she hasn't decided/told me anything about D yet...but if she does, I will go with it...it'll sVckk, and probably push me into bankruptcy, but at this point, I am really letting God. Finally...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
T, I think that for most mlcers, there is a need to see it through.
And often, when they dont, it sometimes rears it head again later and with more fervor.
I would not send the email. She knows all this. And really, it might make her feel guilty. You dont want that to be a reason for her changing her mind, right?
You are an amazing man, T.
And I know you will go through this with the same courage and dignity that you have shown throughout this.
The ultimate act of love is completely letting go.
I really like what you guys said about "she already knows you'll forgive her"...Hadn't thought of that...guess this email idea was trying to make one last sales pitch...lol...I really should know better by now!
Quote:
And often, when they dont, it sometimes rears it head again later and with more fervor.
Yup, already walked that path, this is phase 2 and I don't want a phase 3.
This forum is awesome!!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I think it's really good you've made your stand. I worry about expressing how forgiving I am too, like I may be taken advantage of. I'm not even at that point, but I can understand where you are and how difficult this must be for you. At the same time it must be comforting to be resolved in what you're going to do and know you'll be okay no matter the outcome.
Thinking of you and hoping your W can find the comfort and answers she needs to keep your family together, as a family.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
