Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 16 1 2 3 4 15 16
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
T
Tallula Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
I'm glad this happened. It needed to. No more BS.

I looked at H's phone. Not only is he having sex with OW, tried with me tonight & I see he is indeed having sex with a nurse at his grandma's nursing home. I took pictures of the texts. He was with OW Tuesday night & last night. Both nights he canceled on his kids, left OW's housectellingvher how amazing she is in bed while texting the nurse how he can't wait to sleep with her.

I'm not crying. I'm in shock, frankly, I have to leave this man. I just do. I won't do anything rash this weekend. It's clear from the texts I saw, he has at least told OW he has slept with me, but no way she knows about the nurse.

I'm done. I just have to be. Happier Easter to Tallula...


M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
T
Tallula Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
And I'm half tempted to email both of these women these texts. So they can all see this crap, plus the texts he sends me. I'm eerily calm. I'm waiting until IZc appt Monday to do anything, but this is some suck crsp!!!


M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
T
Tallula Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
Sick, sick!!


M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
Wow, T, some difficult things to digest! I would be in shock, too. YOur H has some serious issues to work out.

Are you going to confront him about the texts you read?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this...it sux big-time.

It sounds like another addiction. Can't get needs met by one, so try another, and another, and another. But, doesn't realize what he needs was right in front of him all along-his wife and family!

My H has even related his obsession w OW to an addiction--like he can't get enough, knows it's wrong, but can't give it up.

But, we can't get caught up in their self-destruction. We have to take care of ourselves and our children. They have to figure it all out for themselves. Unfortunately by the time they do (IF they do) we may be LONG GONE and they will be regretful.

(((((((((((LOTS OF HUGS))))))))))))))))))))


M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 237
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 237
Wow, Tallula! I'm taken aback by what he has done. I just can't believe that someone would do this kind of crap to others. Well, the OW should have known what she was getting. It will serve her right when she ends up finding out she's being used as a plaything.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with his crap. You made a wise move when you cut him off.

I hope you have a great Easter with safe, loving people tomorrow despite this new discovery.

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
T
Tallula Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
I don't plan on telling him yet. My plan is to continue the weekend, see IC & a lawyer first thing next week. I'm done. If he ever gets better, someone else will have to reap that. Not me.

More than ever I see that this is all about him. I am extremely angry that my 4 year old sobbed last night and I even flipping offered to bring him dinner & he was WITH OW at his apartment. "no no. You are too sweet, but you don't need to drag the kids out..."

Yeah. I will have all of it documented. I have her texts & his to me. Lying. So, this would help with custody Should he claim he wants 50% physical. Not going to happen.

Ok, I'm not too calm. But, I am done. This is some messed up stuff.


M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
Hugs Tallula. I think you should line up some other help when the baby comes. You've been hopeful and hurt enough.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
I am sorry about these new developments Tallula. Wow. Its really unbelievable. Stay your course. You are so grounded. I think Ad's idea is brilliant about lining up help for when the baby arrives.

My love and support to you


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
T
Tallula Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 733
Thanks guys. My mom & sis are more than willing to come live with me when the baby gets here. They have already offered.

I guess the lawyer will also help with what financially I can do. H is almost out of money right now & we racked up some CC debt this past year. He got a huge paycut & we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck st this point. I was planning on upping my hours before BD and baby came in. So, while I have no idea how we will make it financially, I know I will figure it out.

I haven't cried yet. I really am done. I see no alternative.

But I do want to eventually let this nurses husband know what she is doing. I wish someone would have clued me in years ago. Plus, as much as I hate OW, I think I will eventually let her know too. I'll discuss all of this in counciling, but I do feel like she should walk into this eyes open. If she stays, then it's on her.

Clearly my H is a very sick man. I'm done enabling it.


M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
I'm so sorry. Seems he just traded one addiction for another. He is broken and needs more help than time and space from you.

Just do what you need to do to take care of you and your family for now. Let the other folks sort out their own stuff.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Page 2 of 16 1 2 3 4 15 16

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard