Thank him for the invitation, but you can always tell him that you are busy or going to visit w/someone over the weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It's understandable why your nerves are on edge. You are doing something that your h hasn't any idea is going to bite him in the rump. You have to chill and wait until next week. Monday is a Federal Holiday and I doubt that the judicial system will be open for business, but you may want to check into that. Most likely if the papers weren't filed today, they will be done early next week.
Stay calm!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly I cracked a bit. I came home and h wanted to give me a hug. I didn't hug him back. Went to the church fish fry and he told me he wanted to spend the day with me wanted things to change(I have been through this with him before) said how bad things have been for him and I told him I got my own crap to deal with because of him and I don't want to listen. I told him I'm about done that I'm tired of being played and its been goin on for a year. I told him I knew he was talkin to ow did not say how. Told him I knew he wants to get her away from boyfriend. He denies and says she has her own life . Says there is nothing between them! What a lie! He will not directly answer my questions about speaking to her. I told him he underestimated me. I would not be accusing him unless I knew. So every time I asked if he spoke to her he just went back to "there's nothing going on". I said ok what if I pull the priest aside and have you tell me that in his presence? How bout with your hand on the bible? Said nothing.
I told him I was looking at a stranger. Someone I don't know. That there is something seriously wrong with him to live this dual life and lie to me. Told him he disgraced the family name and his dad would be so upset if he were alive. There we were at the noisy fish fry and having this talk. And I said because you will not come forward with the truth I have nothing further to discuss. I can't do this any more. Wanted me to go to stations of the cross and I said I can't you go. I couldn't take the denial anymore and I told him I had to go. Got up and walked home.That was a half hour ago. Who knows where he is. I just couldn't be quiet. I really don't know this man. I also asked him why he didn't tell his mom the real reason why we were having trouble and he said because I wasn't thinking it was over. Really? Then why tell her at all. He said He told everyone i wanted him to about thr affair without blinking an eye. True but he's been carrying on for a year without blinking an eye. Agh!!!!!!!! My sister said I could come over but I may stay here. See what plays out. Is this midlife madness or what?
Don't get it. Will not fess up to talking to ow. Says I'm to focused on that I should forget it. This IS the problem! H said he wouldn't talk to her and did. Wants me to be patient and hang out tomorrow. I said no . If he can't come clean there is nothing to talk about. Left and spent night at sisters. Told him I spoke to lawyer. Just don't care.
Rachael, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did last evening.
Mlcers will not divulge their activities w/the ow for a very long time, if ever. Even though I knew about my xh's ow for a very long time, through a PI, he denied it each and every time it was pointed out to him by family and friends. I had been divorced for about 2 years when my bil passed away and he started contacting me about the funeral services. One thing led to another and I managed to trip him up and he admitted that she was still in his life. From then on, he's not denied her to anyone. What I'm trying to say is that they go to great lengths to keep the op a secret for as long as possible.
Today is a new day and I hope you are feeling better. I know it's difficult when you are thinking of ending a marriage and know that your spouse has not been faithful or truthful w/you, but I want you to know that you will be okay.
Thinking of you. I hope that you are okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I keep replaying everything in my head. The overall vibe I get is that h is still not humbled by what he's done. Is this another empty gesture? It's the same conversations we've had before. No word from him today. Tired of this . Sometimes I have guilt over the whole mess. If I only didn't do this on the past etc.
Rachael, Your man is in mlc and he isn't going to feel humbled until he's gone through the entire crisis. Right now, he wants to sweep everything under the carpet and continue status quo. He looks to you as if you are a friend. He knows what he stands to lose if a divorce takes place.
You are expecting your h to react the way he did pre-crisis...not going to happen for a very long time. Keep your expectations at zero at all times.
The question I have for you today is this...are you sure you want to go through w/a divorce? If you are filing as a knee jerk reaction or in anger, then you aren't ready. If you aren't sure, then you need to pull the papers back.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
