That's great HRM. I'm sorry to ask but wasent OW confirmed and even met by a lot of family? I hope he continues out of the tunnel. Good luck.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Very nice to hear. Please keep in mind it's a long process. Don't get discouraged and don't let yourself get tired out. There will be many ups and downs and doubts - don't label and don't get discouraged!
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Hrm, this sounds very positive! Thanks for catching us up on these happenings in your life.
Five days before the D papers were to be signed just after Christmas Day, my H decided to delay the D and toasted champagne at our house New Year's Day " to new possibilities in a new year"!!! Amen!!!
We hafta remember to continue to validate (and you are so VERY good at that) and let them grow so slowly. And we are growing too!
I'm so glad your H could talk to you and I like that he is letting you into his heart and life again. Let us know how things go
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
YAY Hrm...you're doing great. Its so nice to hear some good news around here. Great for everyone's PMA. Remember the squirrel analogy. Take care. Looking forward to hearing more.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
What a wonderful way to end the old year w/a new baby brought into the world and a brand new year w/new beginnings! I'm very happy for you and your h.
You'll need to continue as you have been, i.e., plenty of space, no expectations, validation and affirmation. Hrm, you have been and continue to be an inspiration to those who post and read the forum. Keep up the good work and just remember...good things come to those who wait. You may have to dig a bit deeper for additional patience, but I know you can do it.
There will be days that you will get discouraged, but he's still processing and working on himself internally. Try to stay positive and keep the focus on you for now.
Hang in there! Here's to 2013 and new beginnings for you and your h!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Soul.Searching~ As far as OW, I think a lot of it was what my counselor said, fantasy relationship. To my knowledge never met by his family, but talked about to, this could have been to make himself look good and like he was making the right decision, IDK, I'm sure there have been plenty of lies flying around. I would say definite EA, but H doesn't even know what that means.
AJ~ You are so right, I'm already having to remind myself baby steps! lol
snodderly~ First of all I want to take a moment to thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement, I appreciate it more than you know! I have had to have many patience reminders, and keep looking at all of the little positives instead of saying, "well I want x, y and z now."
Right now for me the big question is, do I just act normal with everyone.... I mean I haven't seen some people in at least 15 months, so what just pick up where we left off??? I have no idea what H has said about me, but I'm sure he's made stuff up, would have had to.... no one (in their right mind anyway) would be ok with someone telling the truth, like, "My wife is amazing, and does all of this great stuff but I just don't feel that way anymore so I'm leaving."
I'm going to a match this weekend with H and a buddy of his(we have always had a good relationship), I just wonder what the heck he's said, what is he going to say to me, and do I pretend like he's not had/having a MLC??? I mean he won't admit that's what's going on so I don't want to say anything that would upset him about it. Even if I just decided to act normal, if someone asks me something I'm not sure how to respond.
Also, because I'm being all paranoid now, I hope he is still working through his issues and not getting stuck or anything, I don't want this to happen again. I mean he's been pretty good with me, like the stuff I mentioned in the earlier post, and he's even given me a couple of phone calls to see if I wanted something for dinner or to let me know when he was on his way home from a match far away so I knew when to start dinner.
He has been drinking a beer or two every evening for the last week, IDK why, I'm trying not to go all LBS psychic abilities about it though LOL. Like I think gee I hope he doesn't have to drink to enjoy spending time with me! I know that's not true, but you know crazy thoughts run wild sometimes. I do continue to give him space, but he is spending more time with me by his choice, I guess I'm just afraid of the unknown.
I'm just trying to enjoy this time for what it is, and being hopeful. Hopefully someday he will move back into OUR bedroom, put all of his stuff where it goes in the house and not in his MLC room, tell me he loves me, etc......
There have been 2 or 3 times he called me by a pet name/nickname he used to call me a lot, he hasn't done that since this whole thing started.
I know, I know, I just need to take a deep breath, be patient, and be still. Clearly he has been working through his issues this whole time, he apparently doesn't want/like to talk about it.
