Be careful what you wish for though... He is going to be a complete ass for a while. Pretty much until he can't take it anymore. Or put another way, until he gets tired of trying to make your life miserable. He'll try though. So this is where it gets down to brass tacks, right? This is where you need to put on your game face and be sweet, kind, compassionate and firm.
If he follows any kind of pattern, he'll boil for a few days while he formulates a plan to irritate you so much you feel compelled to leave. Fight fire with water. The angrier he gets, the sweeter you become. The more he tries to make things miserable, the more you make it pleasant.
I had to do similar with my ex. I remember right after she said she wanted a divorce (surprised me then too because we were getting along great; manipulation) she told me we were all going down to her parents for Easter. I said no. She got mad and said she was moving out of the bedroom to the spare room. I helped her move She couldn't put up with that very long. A few months, but they were long months. I was as nice as could be. Pleasant, but distant and firm. My other choice was to get angry, but I saw no point. There were some good times in there too, but it was tough at first.
You can do it. If he wants out, let him leave. If he wants to be angry, leave the room. If he wants to make things difficult, embrace the suck and GAL. It works out very well and you get the gift of a clear conscience regardless of what he does.
Smart judge. You got a good lawyer and a good judge although I would have made the H move out and pay for the house of possible. The judge will always side with the best interest of the kids. Remember that. That story isn't over yet
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
The judge almost did have H move out. The judge said since H is the one who is gone more then be should be the one to move out. H's attorney said however that he is trying to refinance so he can't leave the house if he's trying to refinance. So the judge said good point.
Oh yes H told the judge that I intentionally hit his car after an argument and then laughed about it. Funny how stories can get twisted. At least the judge isn't making me pay the deductible. H is supposedly getting a bonus this month so he will use that to get the car fixed. Fine with me.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm not much of a fan of karma, but that makes a strong argument
Be well WH. Make plans to take care of you.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
wishing, I am very happy to read that the judge and your lawyer worked together to have you remain in the house. Well, it's going to be interesting in the weeks ahead. Your h is going to be one mad individual for quite some time. Watch your back. He'll be watching you, waiting for you to screw up or even try to set you up so that he can prove to the court that you are an unfit mother who likes to spend money.
The best advice that I can give you is to live your life as you have been, continue to pray and try to remain positive. Oh, you might also want to dig deeper for more patience and purchase a paid of ear plugs. He may fool all of us, but I do think he's going to be one mean and angry @ss for a while.
Take care and I'm very proud of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly. I intend to be on my best behavior. I even intend to track every dime I spend for the next few months. I am also keeping an eye on what H spends. Last night after giving me the speech about how we can't afford to live he comes home with an ink cartridge for the printer and two large bags of pizza rolls. Yeesh!!
It's gonna get really interesting. He's mad as a hatter. I am sure you will be hearing from me again soon.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Okay like worst day ever. I am driving to see my mother out of state and I get a flat tire. Luckily I am able to get safely off the road and I call 911 who connects me with the highway patrol. I get assistance but they cannot get the spare off because it is rusted on. So they call a tow company to assist after I had them talk to H because I thought he might have ideas to get the spare off. He doesn't of course. And then H proceeds to tell me that I have to pay for the tow truck and new tires from my own money or borrow from my mom because this is my car and it's not "marital". I said it's marital because we are married and the car is a marital asset. Oh no he says. Then I said well I guess I am stuck on the side of the road. So I used the credit card anyway. Heck with him. What a jerk.
I guess he'll make me pay it back when things are final. If they are ever final.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
wishing, Are you okay? At this point in time, I wouldn't worry about charging the tow, etc. to the credit card. You were sitting on the side of the road and it wasn't safe for you or the car. If your h gives you a load of BS, point out the number of times he has spent marital funds on his fun and the ow. That should shut his trap right up. This is a car that no only you use, but your children ride in. As long as you are married and both names are on the title and insurance, it is considered marital assets. He is such an @ss.
I do hope that the rest of the weekend goes okay for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks guys. I'm okay. Still ticked off. Then he demands to speak to the kids. I'll have them call when I am good and ready for them to call. Why should I do him any favors? He's a real jerk.
So he's gonna make things really ugly for me I see. I am not sinking to his level. Not gonna do it.
He's a real charmer. OW got herself a real prize. Wait until she's on the side of the road stuck with two scared children in the car.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
She couldn't put up with that very long. A few months, but they were long months. I was as nice as could be. Pleasant, but distant and firm. My other choice was to get angry, but I saw no point. There were some good times in there too, but it was tough at first. 