Hey WH, just to echo the earlier sentiments. Be calm. Be serene. Plan to yell and scream at the end of the day regardless how well or not it goes TODAY.
That's a lot of stress build up even if you don't see it. Since you're dealing with a child, think of it that way. A child that is trying to manipulate you, any way they can, to get what they want.
Remember that you know best what is right for you and your family. Remember you are the "lucky" one that kept your sanity and your kids are very lucky that's the case.
No matter what else happens, it gets better from today forward. No more limbo. No more wondering what you are going to do. That's forward momentum and you'll do very well with it, I have no doubt.
You didn't ask for it. It's not what you wanted. While you cannot change it, you can minimize the damage to you and the kids, and the time to do that is right here and right now.
You can lick your wounds later, if there are any right?
Quote:
Boy oh boy. I hope God has something good in store for me down the road because I for one think I have earned it!!!
Oh, He does. He always takes care of His. Could be a while before you see it, but He always does take care of His. It'll be there
Let us know how it goes.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
At the courthouse waiting for my attorney. I am shaking. I don't know what I am so scared about. Nothing bad is going to happen to me today. I called my counselor for guidance. He told me that H is just angry and looking to get his way by using any method he can. I feel so sick. I wish it was over.
I guess I am scared that the judge is going to make me move out and take away my access to the money. Maybe I am scared H will try to take the kids from me. I dunno. My lawyer has a plan. I trust my lawyer and my counselor and God. I just pray the judge is fair.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Don't have time to read everything right now but the last post. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. Breathe, breathe , breathe. Or maybe try to think of something funny. That helps me sometimes.
rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
wishing, Trust your lawyer...he will fight for you. No one in their right mind is going to put you on the street come February 1st.
Breathe! Stay calm and do not get overly emotional in the room. This is now a business deal that needs to be addressed, set your emotions aside and go into that room ready to fight for what is rightfully yours and your children's.
Your h is a PIA and is angry because he can't get everything his way and yes, he will use every underhanded scheme he can, but I believe that things will be okay.
Breathe!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Absolutely right ^^^ Remember this is his issue. He's like a teen that is trying to get his way and is trying to hurt "mom".
I dunno, I think some of the emotions are coming from the part of this being a defining moment. The action part of it all.
That said, the rational part of your brain knows that you have him by the short hairs. The only way he can try to defend is to attack. He is not worried about the truth - he is focused on hurting you and will do anything to achieve that goal.
He is in a very weak position, WH. Relax. You've done the work, now stay out of the way of the results. They will be what they are, and you'll deal with them as they come. But I honestly think you'll walk away much better off than you can imagine. With any luck, the judge won't allow him to return to your house today
Focus on you and your kids. You would do anything for them right? Right. Now do so and you can deal with the rest once you and they are out of harm's way.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Well it's done. I'm still in the house and I'm not going anywhere. Judge said I can stay put and that it would do the kids more harm than good. And that it would cost more money to live apart than to live together. So nothing has changed except now Mondays and Tuesdays are my days and Wednesdays and Thursdays are his days and we alternate weekends. That being said I don't interfere with his time and he doesn't interfere with mine. That also being said on my weekends he cannot keep me from traveling to see my family. I asked the judge and he said if it my weekend H cannot prevent me from traveling out of state. Now we have that settled, I am taking the kids to see my mom this weekend. H is ticked off. Majorly ticked off. He didn't get anything he requested. Not one thing.
In fact once we got home he wanted to have a "discussion" with me. He continued to berate me about how much money I am spending and How I am putting us into bankruptcy. Also how he is not working overtime anymore not because he can't, but because he won't. His exact words "our budget cannot support us working overtime." So that's his choice, right? That's his decision right?
Then H's attorney cross-examined me and asked me couldn't I move in with a friend who lives 45 minutes from here? Really? They expect me to impose on my friend who only has 2 bedrooms? Where are my kids supposed to stay? How am I supposed to get them to school? Then H has the nerve to tell me that it was not his idea to have me move out. That was all the attorney's idea. Bull!!
Of course nothing is his fault, this was not his idea, he never wanted any of this etc., etc.
H is now boiling angry. I also refused to sign the mediation papers so we are letting the court do a study and decide. It felt good to make that decision. I went with my gut and I feel relief.
It's gonna be a long haul. The fun is just beginning.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Yes God is good. He took care of me and my kids today. I could just cry. He judge almost ordered H to control the checking account and to pay all the bills and I would still have access to the money but I would get $300 "mad money". The judge said at the last minute "no...no I am not ordering anything with the finances. They are adults. They need to make this work."
So God has provided well for me. I am not going anywhere anytime soon. H is ticked. OW will be ticked as well. H even defended her before by saying "that woman who you hate so much has been a Godsend of support". Whatever. How dare he defend her to me. What an ass.
This is gonna get really interesting.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
