I think I am afraid he won't show. Not sure when I would tell them. Don't want to do it over the holidays. When together as a family, we are like nothing has happened, loving, etc as we always have. But the kids know I am not happy. He said as recently as three weeks ago, we were talking about moving stateside and buying real estate. He talks to the kids like that is still the plan . But I can't have this woman in my life knowing what she wants and how they feel about each other. Sooo confused
I also think it is MLC. Also know he never went seeking this, they were friends, and it progressed to more. I know he doesn't want me to leave, he doesn't want to hurt his kids, lose friendships ( I know the majority would kick him to the curb if they knew)but he can't seem to let her go. When she threatened they were done numerous times when he saw me, he said fine.. But somehow always got back together. Couldn't 't do it anymore with the constant contact. Told him he was killing our marriage
Natural consequences are just exactly that. Consequences from his actions. You neither help nor hurt him. You walk away and let him deal with the fall out of his choices.
Detach. The single best thing for your marriage is to stop doing all of what you are doing now because frankly its not working.
What do you mean by 'messed up big time'? Hang in there. There was a time (8 years ago) when my H wanted both me and OW. In the end, OW forced him to choose and he chose us but was very depressed for months.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Well ended up waiting for hours,, finally left to try and meet him, he still wasn't at his hotel ( work purposes) by 6 pm. ( Christmas Eve) I got very upset as we still had no contact. Believed he was going to be a no show as it is a 12 he drive to his parents. Had enough, sat the kids down and told them I was done. Turned out my eldest son knew months ago when his father begged him not to say anything. Disgusted me. Phoned the in laws told them briefly what happened, now we are on pur way there without H. Told H I was done, and I was very upset that he expected me and kids to wait for him while he was at the OW on Christmas Eve. Rude and disrespectful to me and the kids. The kids are very upset and angry but back my decision 100%. Told them I could live this way anyone and if thier father was up come back he had to concentrate on our fully. H was pissed that I couldn't wait until he got there! Whatever, if he wants back he has to fix this!
