Trying not to lose my way in the ultramarathon

[jbnati]

I wish you and your family all of the best.

Happy holidays :-)

Happy Holidays to you and yours as well, busting.

[needgrace]

JB, your W is lucky to have you! your faith and your willingness to consider R is truly inspiring.. all the best to you and your family!

[jbnati]

JB, your W is lucky to have you! your faith and your willingness to consider R is truly inspiring.. all the best to you and your family!

Thanks, NG!

[~ kd ~]

Good to hear from you, jb. Yes, at first blush it sounds like there should be a move to piecing, yet I don't think your W said she wanted to R. She simply said she wanted to review and see if that might be something to consider. There's a huge difference, there.

I know want you WANT. Yet I know you have done an awesome job living your own life and had been prepared to carry on with what WAS the status quo.

Take things really, really slow, my friend. Continue to be the new, best you. I have no doubt that you could eventually step into piecing as a better man and sharing partner.

You will need to take time to allow her to continue to step towards you, until such a time that she wants to actively work on R. Otherwise, this is just a false start which will simply delay the D direction the two of you were on, up until now.

Wishing you the best in this, and a very, Merry Christmas to you and yours.

[newman7977]

JB,

I'm not familiar with your sitch so looks like I have some reading to do

I wanted to just chime in that I'm happy for you with the development of your sitch. Yes take it slow my friend. It seems like true space is when couple actually separate and sort through their feelings.

Keep us posted. Nice to see another cyclist in here.

Newman

[~ kd ~]

It took me a bit to consider how I wanted to say this, as well.

Take a look at how T^2 is operating, in his threads in MLC.

He neither makes himself inaccessible, nor does he pursue.

He stands like a rock in what ever comes.

I think that might be a really good position for you to take, at this time.

[jbnati]

Good to hear from you, jb. Yes, at first blush it sounds like there should be a move to piecing, yet I don't think your W said she wanted to R. She simply said she wanted to review and see if that might be something to consider. There's a huge difference, there.

It's great to hear from you KD!!

Bingo! You have hit it right on the head. Or at least that's the way I see it, too. One of the big things I have to factor in, too, is concentrating on what I really want. I have built and entirely new life for myself. TBH, I would love to share it with someone. I have to figure out if my W is able and willing to get with the program, i.e. if it's similar to what she wants her life to look like, too.

Take things really, really slow, my friend. Continue to be the new, best you. I have no doubt that you could eventually step into piecing as a better man and sharing partner.

Yes, that is the plan.

You will need to take time to allow her to continue to step towards you, until such a time that she wants to actively work on R. Otherwise, this is just a false start which will simply delay the D direction the two of you were on, up until now.

Agreed. The worst thing I think I could possibly do to try to move things along faster. I believe that would inevitably backfire. It would feel like pressure to her. From her perspective, she would see a controlling JB that she wanted to get away from in the first place.

Wishing you the best in this, and a very, Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Thanks, KD! A Merry Christmas to you and yours as well!!

Take a look at how T^2 is operating, in his threads in MLC.

I'll have to check it out.

He neither makes himself inaccessible, nor does he pursue.

He stands like a rock in what ever comes.

I think that might be a really good position for you to take, at this time.

I also agree with this, KD. I think this sounds like an excellent plan.

[jbnati]

Thanks for stopping in, Newman!

I'm not familiar with your sitch so looks like I have some reading to do

Yes, I guess that would be a lot of reading

I wanted to just chime in that I'm happy for you with the development of your sitch. Yes take it slow my friend. It seems like true space is when couple actually separate and sort through their feelings.

Thanks, Newman!

Keep us posted. Nice to see another cyclist in here.

Will do. S

So, you're a cyclist also then? Hopefully there's some groups you can ride with in your area. That's been nice component of my GAL'ing activities during my sitch.

[jbnati]

As a quick update. I think we're doing a pretty good job of taking it slow thus far. So far, so good.

The only real thing I've done is email my L and say we're putting things on hold until the beginning of the year, at which point we'll re-evaluate. She replied back and said, "Sounds good JB, I will continue to pray for peace for your family."

I talk to my W for about 2 minutes last night, and it was all business. It was all about my S.

We have not yet set up a time for us to get together and talk. I think I'll know when the time is right. I certainly don't want to apply any pressure.

[gunny]

HEY JB,
Glad to see the positive development. In this season of prayers I will say a prayer for you. Your go slow philosophy seems like the right approach to me, trust your gut, it has gotten you this far. Merry Christmas!